Why Did My Patient Leave Me?

I've done this, without feedback. The reason was that doctors seem to come in several varieties when it comes to bringing their ego to work and my doctor had a serious case of that. I was dehydrated after an operation and when he asked if he could do something for me I asked for some water, the doctor then ordered someone else not in the room to come and get me a glass of water. He couldn't be bothered to walk to the sink and do it for me because that sort of thing was beneath him, he was a doctor after all, not some lowly nurse.

That would have been hard to argue as sufficient reason to switch but I figured that if his primary worry in a situation where a patient has clearly expressed a need is his perception then he shouldn't have become a doctor in the first place and likely that would get in the way of him providing care.

I've talked this over with a nurse friend of mine and they totally confirmed that this is normal, doctors, especially in a hospital setting, are on top of a hierarchy that tends to self-reinforce their importance. And yes, they are important. But in the end what is most important is that they realize that the only reason they have a job is because someone else is in trouble and that some humility goes a very long way towards establishing real rapport.

The one thing that stood out for me on this subject that I read about a while ago (not sure if it was in a book or online) was that actually being in the hospital as a patient immediately made doctors a much better doctor for their patients.

Dogfooding works, even for doctors.

Another reason why people don't leave feedback: they don't want to get into an argument, they just want to switch and they already have enough on their plates and fortunately in many places they have that right.

>the doctor then ordered someone else not in the room to come and get me a glass of water //

It seems possible that was a hygiene issue. For example the doctor knew that he'd need then to wash his hands again (possibly twice, once before going to the cupboard, once after), or change his gloves, before continuing with your consultation?

I have luckily been very healthy in my life, but I have always believed that the relationship between a doctor and a patient is a collaboration with the aim being to help the patient make the most appropriate decision for their needs.

Too many doctors seem to be of the opinion they know best and the patient should just do as they say - even if they are correct technically it is not their life that is on the line. The patient is always right.

Well, I've been plunged into this very issue. Even for cancer care, I found no trace of collaboration. It was bureaucratic, sometimes cold, out of sync (no news, contradictory news). No team work possible. Also if you ever try to mention alternate ideas, you get dismissed right away. And for fallacious reasons. Mostly statistical and experience driven, which looked like myopia to me. I'm actually collecting evidence to back my ideas right now. I understand they're humans, have limits, budgets. But the overall "this (comfy death) or nothing" is maddenning to me.