Please Rate My Startup - LoyaltySpace.com

I have built a system to manage customer loyalty programmes for small businesses.

By implementing my software, they'll be able to:

Improve sales by directly rewarding recurring purchases.

Be slightly more data driven in their approach and marketing - sending tailored offers and marketing.

Use the mobile channel - SMS and Mobile Web to push out offers and build a relationship with their customers.

There is a definite gap in the market for this. I have spoken with tens of potential customers who have looked for a similar system, but have been put off by the high setup costs and tie ins. These are businesses such as restaurants, salons etc, who want to try loyalty marketing but want to be sure of it's use before making any big commitment.

Anyway, would appreciate any comments about the idea, website, sofware etc.

[NOTE: There are still a few rough edges in the software to be cleaned up over the next day or so. My existing handful of customers out of my beta testing and development are on a seperate instances running older software.]

Now that is a perfectly valid approach, but I don't think you want to do that.

Instead assume that your customers already know what CL is and instead focus on what your product does that others don't. I.e. what set you apart in the CL field, not just what is great about CL.

LoyaltySpace is a complete, simple, and affordable solution that helps small businesses to increase sales by running their own customer loyalty program.

LoyaltySpace supports both plastic card loyalty programs and an innovative mobile phone based loyalty product.

That is a lot about you and a little about them. Successful sales is frequently a lot about them and a little about you. Relatedly, features do not sell software; benefits sell software. Don't tell them that you can "build a customer database" ("I sell freaking pasta, what do I want a database for!? 'Subsequent marketing activity'?!"), tell them the improvement they are going to experience in their lives from using your product. ("You'll get eager customers who want to hear from you giving you their contact details so that you can sell them more stuff.")

Similarly, "Create tailored offers" => "Increase sales by directing the right offers to the right customers."

Your landing page needs simpler, bigger, attention-grabbing text.

Also, I'll second the comment below about the big bright signup button. The CardStar link above has a nice example that you might draw inspiration from.

EDIT: Just watched a video from a link on HN:

http://www.avc.com/a_vc/2010/05/draw-your-ideas.html

And the website behind Jack Dorsey's new idea:

https://squareup.com/

He makes the point in the video that 90% of America uses plastic to pay for stuff, but only 2% of America can accept payments from plastic sources.

If you can come up with a killer common-sense line like that (and a killer landing page like Square's), that will become the raison d'etre for your concept.