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Married to someone with anxiety

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Re: Married to someone with anxiety

#2
Thanks for sharing. I think it's so important that this gets surfaced.

Having dialogue is probably the best way to help someone going through anxiety. A lot of times, they just need someone to listen and to support them and tell them that it's ok.

Re: Married to someone with anxiety

#4
I was married to such person for 8 years. I physically aged 40 years, and I got gray hair.

My best advice is to get out NOW if you can. Maybe things are working out now, but you are barely floating. Add normal family life into picture: children, job loss, some injury, any sort of accident... and you will sink to bottom faster than a stone.

Re: Married to someone with anxiety

#5
Thank you for writing this. When people talk about these issues it becomes easier and more acceptable to society and it helps lessen anxiety stigmas.

As someone who suffers from anxiety and who regularly seeks therapy, I can say that the rituals that have helped me are:

- Realizing that anxiety isn't who you are, but more like a disturbance that will pass

- Eating, sleeping, exercising, and practicing mindfulness go a long way

- Knowing and dealing with the physiological reactions helps. Realizing that anxiety is a fight or flight response and is often based on fears of the future, which causes heart to race and breath to shorten. Therefore, simply forcing yourself to take large breaths and being mindful about the state of your body helps bring you back to the present and not let your mind get into "rabbit holes"

One piece of advice I have for you is to not take on the role of mental health professional in your relationship. This isn't your problem and you can quickly tire yourself out. All you have to do to support is help your wife accept her current state, and help remind her of living in the present. If her condition is severe enough, encourage her to see a psychiatrist in addition to a therapist too. It may help greatly.

Re: Married to someone with anxiety

#6
Thanks for sharing. I think its important to discuss mental health issues openly. They have a huge impact on our lives and are quite common (NAMI says 1 in 5), yet we tend as a society to shy away from talking about it and tend to have strange beliefs (they are just a negative person, they should just get over it, their thoughts will be contagious). I think many people never get the help they need because they aren't aware that help even exists.

Re: Married to someone with anxiety

#8
> More evenings with no sleep, coupled with a 4 hour commute (both ways) means she is exhausted.

This stood out to me - I cannot imagine the detrimental effect that 8 hours commuting per day has on one's mental health. I'm glad she was able to change jobs.

Re: Married to someone with anxiety

#10
post #4

I was married to such person for 8 years. I physically aged 40 years, and I got gray hair. My best advice is to get out NOW if you can. Maybe things are working out now, but you are barely floating. Add normal family life into picture: children, job loss, some injury, any sort of accident... and you will sink to bottom faster than a stone.

i'd be anxious too married to someone so willing to cut and run.

you're all idiots.

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