I am a cyclist and you hate me

I only hate the self-centered asshats who ride their bikes in the middle of the road when there's a perfectly good sidewalk or bicycle lane built especially for them at great expense to the tax payers, all while riding at a leisurely pace some twenty miles per hour under the speed limit. But yeah, I'm the crazy one.

needs: I am a cyclist and ride on the sidewalk hitting pedestrians

I am a cyclist and use the crosswalk to run red lights

I am a cyclist and will come up behind you and ride inches away from your car when traffic is slow.

I am a cyclist and ride on the wrong side of the road.

I am a cyclist and do not wear safety equipment even though I know cycling is dangerous.

I am a cyclist and I am right and you are wrong regardless.