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Ask HN: How to deal with stress and overspecced responsibility?

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Ask HN: How to deal with stress and overspecced responsibility?

#1

Post by flashburn »

In my organization, I started out as a senior software engineer. Through my work, I put together a number of detailed architecture designs and was given people to help build our product over time. As the definition of the architecture and implementation came along, I was given more and more responsibility and duties, to the point where I'm helping to set the direction and schedule for major parts of the software organization. At this point, I've even been given allocated headcount for a large team to help build it all. I don't really have a manager, as I report directly to the VP of software, and mentors are far and few between.

I'm still personally tasked with building out the architecture, writing code, training newhires, handling the HR-side of management (PTO, sick leave, etc), hiring plans, work estimates, gap analyses, bizdev relationships and so on. I've asked for training, but so far haven't actually received any. I don't have a college degree, learned everything I know about software engineering myself, and have no experience or training with the business-side of things.

How have those of you in similar situations dealt with the stress of it all? I find myself overwhelmed with responsibilities, and some of the political pressures from above are starting to take their toll.

Re: Ask HN: How to deal with stress and overspecced responsibility?

#2

Post by therobot24 »

Simple solution would be to ask to do less, but make sure to frame it correctly. Since you were given more responsibility over time I'm making the assumption that the VP trusts you and your work. I'd suggest going to the VP and telling them that you're falling behind and it would be beneficial for you and them if someone else were either hired on or brought in to share the load. It's not a problem of you not being able to do the work, rather you're not able to find the time for everything.

Re: Ask HN: How to deal with stress and overspecced responsibility?

#3

Post by mswen »

In part your VP has already provided you the solution "allocated headcount for a large team". Question is can you keep all the balls in the air successfully while you go through the hiring cycle.

I have talked with many CIO's who have gone through similar transitions in their own career. Starting as very technical and needing to transition to managing people, corporate functions and major projects. These transitions and letting go of personally being the smartest technical person in the room is often difficult. You move from your comfort zone of being very competent into a "newbie" role trying to figure it all out.

Each company is different. Your description makes it sound as though your company hasn't really thought it through very well - "just give him resources and he will figure it out". Sometimes this kind of sink or swim approach works but it could clearly end badly for you and the company.

You are no good to the company if you seriously burn out and crash. It feels like you need to push harder on the getting training and help. And, make sure your headcount lets you hire somebody in a support role that can hopefully take care of a lot of the little details of running your department.

Re: Ask HN: How to deal with stress and overspecced responsibility?

#5

Post by jf22 »

I'm in a similar situation and have no idea how to solve it.

I've been thinking of pulling together a mastermind of other programmers-turned-executive so we can talk about these problems together. I'm seriously peter principally-ing over here. ;)

Anybody interested?

Me:

Mid 30s Director of Technology Team of 10 + part timers. No College. Two failed saas products.

Re: Ask HN: How to deal with stress and overspecced responsibility?

#6

Post by gmays »

Having been in a similar situation, try to decompose the problems. It'll be much easier make sense of it in simple chunks then group them into buckets.

Next don't do it all yourself--it's suicide. Delegate those responsibility groups one at a time as you catch that new owner up to speed. If you don't know yourself, then point/pair them with someone who does.

Once everything is delegated your new job is helping those new managers succeed and focusing on the things where you uniquely bring value.

You can do this, just take it a step at a time. It only feels insurmountable looking at it all at once, it's an illusion.

Re: Ask HN: How to deal with stress and overspecced responsibility?

#7

Post by uptownfunk »

Delegate with the understanding that people will make mistakes and be supportive. Seems like you're transitioning to higher leadership. Focus on checking in frequently and make sure things are moving in the right direction while providing the needed help in problem solving when necessary. It takes a lot of trust too.

Re: Ask HN: How to deal with stress and overspecced responsibility?

#8

Post by walterbell »

Make sure you get a title and compensation change that is proportional to the additional responsibility and increased value being delivered to the company. You may be surprised how that will change the nature and quantity of demands being made on your time.

If you keep saying yes (to everything you did before) and yes (to everything you are discovering you can do), it is only human nature for individual requests to increase to the point where they collectively overwhelm you. You could individually re-negotiate boundaries and committments, but that itself is work and requires political skills. A public change in title and a financial change in compensation will require executive approval and that process will help change company-wide perception of what tasks are the best use of your time.

Once that is out of the way (increasing your price as a form of demand/flow control), find good books and external mentors on:

  Leadership (managing down _and_ up) [1]
  Project Management (execution logistics) [2][3]
  Communication & Politics & Sales (human semantics)
[1] Being a Manager is lonely, https://news.ycombinator.com/item?id=8881752

[2] How to run successful projects (3rd Ed), http://www.amazon.com/How-Run-Successful-Projects-III/dp/020...

[3] Adaptive Software Development, http://www.amazon.com/Adaptive-Software-Development-Collabor...

Re: Ask HN: How to deal with stress and overspecced responsibility?

#9

Post by joshyeager »

I think your first step is to delegate some of your responsibilities ASAP. If you stop writing code and building estimates (but keep doing code reviews!) and hand off parts of the new hire training, that will free up time for other responsibilities. It will also help the people on your team grow so they can carry even more of the load for you.

The Manager Tools podcasts have a lot of very useful advice that I think would help you. I recommend subscribing to their "Basics" feed to get started, and then listen to the full feed. http://www.manager-tools.com/podcasts/basics-rss.xml

You can see their whole "map of the podcast" here: https://www.manager-tools.com/map-universe/trinity-one-ones. It's overwhelming at first because they have almost 1000 casts. But you can navigate through the list to find the topic you're struggling with, and download the podcasts from there.

Re: Ask HN: How to deal with stress and overspecced responsibility?

#10

Post by rdli »

I've experienced the transition from being an engineer to a manager, and then from a manager to director, from director to VP, and now CEO.

I can tell you by far the most material impact on my ability to take on more responsibility has been having a great manager (not just a mentor). A manager knows what work you're being asked to do, sees you try to do that work, and can give you feedback on the work that you're doing. A mentor just does not have that context.

It's so important that one of the questions I ask when interviewing people (at any level) is tell me about a great manager you've had. And a shockingly large number of people (even directors or VPs with impressive resumes) will say "I never had one, but I wish I did."

This is a longer-term advice, but I would make it a career goal if you want to grow to try to find a really great manager.

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