Why You Will Marry the Wrong Person
nytimes.com
Why You Will Marry the Wrong Person
1–10 of 109 posts
Re: Why You Will Marry the Wrong Person
#2I was really hoping for at least some statistics or research to show what the scale of the purported issue is, and the decision-making processes that lead to it. This reads more as an opinion piece from a marriage counselor (author seems to be a television personality in actuality) than an actual explanation of why people choose the wrong marriage partner.
Re: Why You Will Marry the Wrong Person
#3reminds me of this article...
http://markmanson.net/question
TL;DR: Don't set goals based on what makes you happy. Instead, decide what you're willing to suffer for.
Re: Why You Will Marry the Wrong Person
#4I was really hoping for at least some statistics or research to show what the scale of the purported issue is, and the decision-making processes that lead to it. This reads more as an opinion piece from a marriage counselor (author seems to be a television personality in actuality) than an actual explanation of why people choose the wrong marriage partner.
But at the same time I feel like this is an accurate summation of the problem and contains solid advice.
This was a good read.
I think getting good data on this would be impossible. Unfortunately it would involve including peoples' opinions and perceptions on events and we're amazing animals at misunderstandings and self-deceptions. Who knows if the purported reason actually has anything to do with it and isn't just the answer someone is comfortable with telling themselves or others?
Re: Why You Will Marry the Wrong Person
#5> The good news is that it doesn’t matter if we find we have married the wrong person.
Yes, it does! OMG, this so laughably wrong. (The whole article.)
Who you marry is a big, big determiner of happiness.
It's better to be single than to marry the wrong person.
Re: Why You Will Marry the Wrong Person
#6reminds me of this article... http://markmanson.net/question TL;DR: Don't set goals based on what makes you happy. Instead, decide what you're willing to suffer for.
Or "expect little and hope for more"
Re: Why You Will Marry the Wrong Person
#7What matters in the marriage of feeling is that two people are drawn to each other by an overwhelming instinct and know in their hearts that it is right.
That is not enough. If you don't have the practical logistics down as well, the odds will be very much against you. Trust is a big factor. Everything is harder when resources are constrained, especially trust.
Re: Why You Will Marry the Wrong Person
#8I was really hoping for at least some statistics or research to show what the scale of the purported issue is, and the decision-making processes that lead to it. This reads more as an opinion piece from a marriage counselor (author seems to be a television personality in actuality) than an actual explanation of why people choose the wrong marriage partner.
But at the same time I feel like this is an accurate summation of the problem and contains solid advice. This was a good read. I think getting good data on this would be impossible. Unfortunately it would involve including peoples' opinions and perceptions on events and we're amazing animals at misunderstandings and self-deceptions. Who knows if the purported reason actually has anything to do with it and isn't just…
Agree, this is the wisdom I wish someone drilled into me when I was young and lusty. We got indoctrinated early into romanticism by every song and Disney cartoon. It's myopic. Ain't no r&b ballads about marriage doldrums.
Re: Why You Will Marry the Wrong Person
#9Part of this was borrowed without credit. https://web.archive.org/web/20160422073110/http://thephiloso...
Re: Why You Will Marry the Wrong Person
#10> The good news is that it doesn’t matter if we find we have married the wrong person. Yes, it does! OMG, this so laughably wrong. (The whole article.) Who you marry is a big, big determiner of happiness. It's better to be single than to marry the wrong person.
I think what the author was trying to say is that every person is the wrong person to marry if you judge them by your expectations of what they should bring to the relationship.