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Cousins are disappearing. Is this reshaping the experience of childhood?

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Re: Cousins are disappearing. Is this reshaping the experience of childhood?

#971

Post by guythedudebro »

foodgradient wrote: post #434
pfannkuchen wrote: post #112

Is it not totally obvious that the low birth rate is directly caused by availability and social acceptance of contraceptives and related technologies? People didn’t really “choose” to have that many kids in the past. It turns out that even if you don’t really want to have kids, not having sex is a very, very hard thing to do. Nature’s solution to making humans have kids despite being able to reason themselves out of…

I am not so sure. France experienced its decline in fertility about a century earlier than its neighbors (see figure 1 in [0] for instance). Did they have better contraceptives? Traditionnal methods such as marrying late (see: European Marriage Pattern), pulling out, timing are very effective at _reducing_ the number of children you will have (note: not effective at reducing it to zero - don't do this at home kids!).…

Correction - do do it at home if you have no other option

Re: Cousins are disappearing. Is this reshaping the experience of childhood?

#972

Post by guythedudebro »

epivosism wrote: post #367

It applies to all types of kin relations. Dramatically fewer people have a same- sex sibling. The number is probably down from say 0.9 to 0.4 or less. Few people have friends with brothers and sisters to compare them to, to understand heritability. We are becoming more and more tolerant of obviously unrelated people playing relatives on tv. I say that because when you see a real family resemblance in person, it's int…

What

Re: Cousins are disappearing. Is this reshaping the experience of childhood?

#973

Post by gofreddygo »

dang wrote: post #937
bongodongobob wrote: post #871

Earlier quoted context omitted.

I can't help how others respond. No flame war intended.

I believe you, but we have to go by effects, not intent. If you post swipes like "What bubble do you live in?" (which is already against the site guidelines, btw) on a divisive topic like this, then the odds of a flamewar are high and you're responsible for starting it—the same way you would be responsible for a wildfire if you dropped lit matches in a dry forest, whether you intended a wildfire or not. https://hn.al…

Dang, I don't know how this community would resist imploding without you. Your clarity of communication and considerate restraint are deeply appreciated.

I mean you could have a canned answer for such threads, but I liked and learned from how you handled this.

Thank you, again :)

Re: Cousins are disappearing. Is this reshaping the experience of childhood?

#974

Post by acuozzo »

VirusNewbie wrote: post #882
thinkingtoilet wrote: post #793

Earlier quoted context omitted.

I have kids and I actively tell people not to have kids if you don't really really really want them. It's not a pleasant experience most of the time. You do you. I'm not judging you at all.

I have a kid, it's great most of the time. My theory is some people struggle with life, and if that's the case, having a child can increase the struggle. Conversely, if someone enjoys life and things are going well, a child can often enrich it even further.

Can we assume then that your child doesn't have special needs?

Re: Cousins are disappearing. Is this reshaping the experience of childhood?

#975

Post by trashtester »

Workaccount2 wrote: post #717
trashtester wrote: post #644

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Plenty of women wants to date a guy 10, 20 or even 30 years her senior. Especially if he's financially secure, wants a stable relationship, is reasonably healthy and treats her well. If you have your life in order, all you have to do is to look in the right places. Those places exist in any country, but if you're a man like that and look on dating sites for Thailand or the Philippines, you will find 10 women that wan…

Not to give OP fuel for his fire, but just to be real because I am so sick of seeing these misleading comments all over the internet: It's not just finding a woman who is willing. It's finding a woman who is a quality person that you have an attraction to that is willing. When you are a woman who is sane, smart, have your life together, and is decent looking, you have many choices for a partner. Many of these woman c…

> So while yes, it does happen that the 50 yr old guy meets the amazing 33 yr old woman. Far more often than not, the amazing 33 yr old woman meets to amazing 33 yr old guy.

This is absolutely true, well at least if you include those amazing people who met even earlier than 33. Amazing people tend to have options whether they are male, female or even other.

Those less amazing (the remaining 60-80%, depending on who's counting), often have to lower their standards or expectations in some way, unless they're lucky and find a special soulmate. Indeed, if someone is 35+ and still single, chances are their expectations are not aligned with what they themselves have to offer.

I've been there myself. Only when I decided that I did NOT want to remain single for the rest of my life and became serious about finding a partner did that change. And it changed virtually overnight.

Re: Cousins are disappearing. Is this reshaping the experience of childhood?

#976

Post by 698969 »

toasterlovin wrote: post #959
698969 wrote: post #951

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Out of curiosity, what is the ballpark of your and your spouse's income and net worth?

I’m game but tell me your hypothesis first.

No hypothesis, just trying to gauge at what point could/would someone willingly consider that lifestyle.

Re: Cousins are disappearing. Is this reshaping the experience of childhood?

#977

Post by anthonypasq »

missedthecue wrote: post #935
silverquiet wrote: post #714

Earlier quoted context omitted.

I wonder - do you think the drop in fertility represents a rise in overall life satisfaction or a fall? I hadn't thought about it much myself, but it seems like it could go either way.

A lot of 27 year old women 50 years ago had a kid and another on the way. A lot of 27 year old women I know today are planning trips to Europe next year. Are they more unhappy than previous generations? I don't see it. There's a lot of interesting things competing today with being a parent.

ask them again when they are 40 and childless

Re: Cousins are disappearing. Is this reshaping the experience of childhood?

#978

Post by toasterlovin »

698969 wrote: post #976
toasterlovin wrote: post #959

Earlier quoted context omitted.

I’m game but tell me your hypothesis first.

No hypothesis, just trying to gauge at what point could/would someone willingly consider that lifestyle.

I'm not sure money really matters that much. Most of our friends are well-educated but solidly middle class. If two income families were more common, then most of them would probably be upper middle class. Our family is upper middle class. I am self employed but don't have significant net worth other than my business.

Re: Cousins are disappearing. Is this reshaping the experience of childhood?

#979

Post by RankingMember »

strikelaserclaw wrote: post #922
happiness_idx wrote: post #912

Earlier quoted context omitted.

It's quite peculiar to observe members of the tech community citing their circumstances as a barrier during a period of abundance and prosperity.

I think the better educated our species is thinking too much before having kids where as our parents and their ancestors kind of had kids and rolled with it. But even as a well earning tech guy, i can't help feel that being unemployed and being hit with one medical emergency can put my family on the street. In this time of abundance, i still feel like i'm being ground to dust by the man.

I think the lack of a social safety net has a lot to do with this feeling, which I share.

Re: Cousins are disappearing. Is this reshaping the experience of childhood?

#980

Post by throwawa_goog »

toasterlovin wrote: post #849
throw_siblings wrote: post #821

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Err, yeah I'm a little skeptical of parents who want lots of children. I'm in my twenties now, but I was raised Catholic, I have twelve siblings, and I was homeschooled until my senior year. There were several issues: - Me and my siblings all feel like our parents loved the "identity" of being parents and having lots of children, but when it came down to the brass tax of actually caring for our emotional needs, they…

Yeah, that's def not our plan (nor is it even possible at this point). But, for what it's worth, I don't see many families with > 6-7 kids, so I think your notion of what is meant by "want a lot of kids" is skewed by your experience.

I mean, is it? I'd say anything above 2 (the number of parents around usually) is "a lot of kids". Anything above 2 and you start running into the problems I listed. In this society, I think most people who want more than three or so are narcissists who want to be praised as super-parents and/or highly impractical (or just happen to be extremely wealthy). My whole point is that, there's a fun fantasy around having lots of children but it comes with huge cons for the kids themselves in today's society.
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