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Cousins are disappearing. Is this reshaping the experience of childhood?

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Re: Cousins are disappearing. Is this reshaping the experience of childhood?

#941

Post by bryanrasmussen »

TeMPOraL wrote: post #338
atomicnumber3 wrote: post #16

Anecdata: I am 31 and have 3 young kids. They have 0 cousins and, on top of that, 0... second cousins? Cousins-once-removed? Whatever the one is for my cousin's kids. My kids are my grandma's only great-grandkids. And I have... 6 cousins. On top of that, at my last job, on my team of 15, I was the only one with kids, and only 1 of those 15 engineers were under the age of 30. At my current job, my team is 8, and again…

All us over-30s with kids probaly random-walked into jobs that are family-friendly and are staying there . In my current team, almost half the people - and importantly, the previous and current manager - have kids, usually more than one. Can't speak for the corporation we merged into, but before the merger, the whole mid-sized company cleraly leaned for average age closer to 35-40, and a good chunk of employees at ev…

I'm in Denmark so pretty much every company is like this, supporting family is a big thing here. But that means people will leave because not so much a gamble.

Re: Cousins are disappearing. Is this reshaping the experience of childhood?

#942

Post by bryanrasmussen »

Balgair wrote: post #798
11101010001100 wrote: post #727

Earlier quoted context omitted.

I didn't realize how physical raising a kid is. The chasing, the lifting, the playing ... they don't stop!

For those without kiddos: Hold a 10lbs weight on your arm for three hours (simulates an infant trying to fall asleep in your arms). Do this for six months, three times a day. Lift a 20lbs bag of rice off the floor to your hips once every 20 seconds for two hours (simulates a toddling-walking child wanting up). Do this for a three years, six times a day. Get up off the floor in a hurry once every five minutes for two…

there are also of course lots of medical problems associated with having kids later for both the parents and the kids so better to do it earlier.

Re: Cousins are disappearing. Is this reshaping the experience of childhood?

#943

Post by mensetmanusman »

kelnos wrote: post #512
toasterlovin wrote: post #71

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Your comment seems to be coming from a genuine place, but you could really use some historical perspective.

I don't think that holds true here. At many points in history (including recent history) people were happy to have kids because they believed they could give their children a better life than they themselves have. But it sounds like the GP is looking to the future, and is pessimistic about their ability to do that. History doesn't matter too much here, even if I agree with you that much of history was a cesspool of p…

Even in the past they knew about the heat death of our sun.

Re: Cousins are disappearing. Is this reshaping the experience of childhood?

#945

Post by lumost »

raydev wrote: post #924
autoexec wrote: post #897

Earlier quoted context omitted.

> But the anecdata would say that we're closing on the point where millenials have chosen to simply not have children. I'd bet that that isn't a "choice" so much as it is that millennials are prevented by their circumstances from having the children they'd want to otherwise. If more people could actually afford to have kids and were more optimistic about the future I imagine we'd have a lot more babies around

> I'd bet that that isn't a "choice" so much as it is that millennials are prevented by their circumstances from having the children they'd want to otherwise Taking a look at median incomes and housing costs across the US, I'd bet that millennials have become forward-thinking enough to plan for kids, but have gotten themselves worked up into thinking they must spend millions on getting into the best daycares, have se…

This also may be a wise reaction to the observation that the middle class is vanishing. My father started his career as a decently paid factory worker, he moved into corporate as factories were going away. My parents emphasized college as the alternatives did not look like viable careers to their eyes.

Is it surprising that a generation who saw college graduates struggle emphasizes going to Harvard etc. for their own children? I’d be skeptical that the path I took will be open for my daughter in 20 years.

Re: Cousins are disappearing. Is this reshaping the experience of childhood?

#946

Post by refurb »

vundercind wrote: post #777
refurb wrote: post #524

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Pretty much. I used to live in a mid-sized mid-West city in the US and still keep in touch. Most everyone I know bought a house, even with the modest wages they had. Why? Because there are plenty of homes in the $100-$200k range, even now.

Hell, you can buy beautiful, updated small mansions in the heart of many small midwestern towns for under $200k. The trouble is: 1) no local jobs to speak of (unless you want to clerk at the farm & feed or assistant-manage the McDonald’s out by the highway) 2) nearest hospital that can do more than stabilize you before shipping you somewhere better, is over an hour away. 3) the schools are really, really bad 4) no lo…

Plenty of examples of far better options in mid-sized cities that have level 1 or 2 trauma centers, very good school options and lots of local services and amenities. And housing that is under $300k for a single family home.

Re: Cousins are disappearing. Is this reshaping the experience of childhood?

#947

Post by BobbyTables2 »

bryanrasmussen wrote: post #941
TeMPOraL wrote: post #338

Earlier quoted context omitted.

All us over-30s with kids probaly random-walked into jobs that are family-friendly and are staying there . In my current team, almost half the people - and importantly, the previous and current manager - have kids, usually more than one. Can't speak for the corporation we merged into, but before the merger, the whole mid-sized company cleraly leaned for average age closer to 35-40, and a good chunk of employees at ev…

I'm in Denmark so pretty much every company is like this, supporting family is a big thing here. But that means people will leave because not so much a gamble.

Interesting!

In my first job, my boss was a psychopath fresh out of grad school, no kids. Had no problem getting himself promoted but held us back, saying top performers would have to work “nights and weekends” to rise above junior levels. (Which was supposed to be a routine promotion)

It’s remarkable how different my next employers were.

Re: Cousins are disappearing. Is this reshaping the experience of childhood?

#948

Post by therealdrag0 »

npteljes wrote: post #570
elliotec wrote: post #530

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Hereditary, biological factors only get selected via reproduction, so of course that’s how it works. “Stupid people” won’t “die out” as long as “they” keep having kids. Simple as that.

Yes, in retrospect suicidal people would have been a better, even if inappropriate, example.

Many people have suicide after having kids, making evolution indifferent to that flavor.

Re: Cousins are disappearing. Is this reshaping the experience of childhood?

#949

Post by bongodongobob »

dang wrote: post #937
bongodongobob wrote: post #871

Earlier quoted context omitted.

I can't help how others respond. No flame war intended.

I believe you, but we have to go by effects, not intent. If you post swipes like "What bubble do you live in?" (which is already against the site guidelines, btw) on a divisive topic like this, then the odds of a flamewar are high and you're responsible for starting it—the same way you would be responsible for a wildfire if you dropped lit matches in a dry forest, whether you intended a wildfire or not. https://hn.al…

Fair enough, heard.

Re: Cousins are disappearing. Is this reshaping the experience of childhood?

#950

Post by Dalewyn »

beltsazar wrote: post #708
Dalewyn wrote: post #566

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Life is composed of both happiness and tragedies, but tragedies by far outnumber the happiness. If I were to specify an exact number, perhaps somewhere in the vicinity of 9:1 tragedies:happiness. Some of the tragedies are also guaranteed and unavoidable from the moment you are born. My conclusion is the result of a long internal deliberation fraught with weighing the countless factors which compose life. This conclus…

> Life is composed of both happiness and tragedies, but tragedies by far outnumber the happiness. If I were to specify an exact number, perhaps somewhere in the vicinity of 9:1 tragedies:happiness. > Some of the tragedies are also guaranteed and unavoidable from the moment you are born. That's a grim perspective of life. For your personal life, do you think that the happiness you've experienced worth the tragedies th…

>For your personal life, do you think that the happiness you've experienced worth the tragedies that have happened to you?

To be brutally honest: No.

I'm sorry if that answer makes anyone uncomfortable.

>If it's not worth it, what makes you keep on living, then? (Assuming that you do.)

I don't want to force the sadness of my death upon my parents and friends; I'll die sooner or later, but there's a difference between the Grim Reaper calling up my number and me just kicking down his door.

>If so, don't you want another human (your child) to experience the same?

I answered the prior question in the negative already, but I will answer this question anyway: No, I don't want to force any experience, good or bad, upon my hypothetical child. I think setting down rails as a parent and pushing my children down them is a gross violation of human rights, specifically the human right to liberty.

If anything, it's the child who gets to set down the rails and demand I, as their parent, help them travel it regardless of my own wishes. Not the other way around.

>Or do you wish that you had never been born in the first place?

If I had the opportunity to answer that question before coming into existence, with the life experience I have today? No, I would have wished to not be born and continued to enjoy solace in the vast void of nothingness.

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