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Female Founder Secrets: Men Clamming Up

femfosec.com

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Re: Female Founder Secrets: Men Clamming Up

#941

Post by 0_____0 »

CivBase wrote: post #705
0_____0 wrote: post #592

Earlier quoted context omitted.

I remember some comedian pointing out, racism (sexism in this case) drives people crazy. Because it's subtle. Very rarely are people nowadays blatantly racist/sexist, because they get called out for it. But imagine that every time you have an 'off' experience with someone, you end up wondering whether your race or sex had something to do with it. It only takes a couple instances of finding out that that 'off' feeling…

> But imagine that every time you have an 'off' experience with someone, you end up wondering whether your race or sex had something to do with it. I can't pretend to have any idea what that's like. However, I do know what it's like from the other side, wondering whether the things I say will be misconstrued as prejudice and whether any bad experience I have with someone of a difference race/sex/etc will be used to l…

Sounds like a lot of your anxiety comes from not having insight into the experiences of people that end up experiencing racism and sexism. You have the option of doing a bit of research and a bit of work to understand the 'other side' in these interactions. This pays off in a couple ways. First, you'll be more at ease in your interactions with women/POC. Second, people in those groups do notice when people put in a bit of self-work to build that empathy and create a good environment for that and over time will see you as an ally. Is that a process that you're willing to engage?

Re: Female Founder Secrets: Men Clamming Up

#942

Post by dang »

deanCommie wrote: post #808
dang wrote: post #487

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Please don't take HN threads further into gender flamewar. https://news.ycombinator.com/newsguidelines.html

THIS is the comment you deemed taking the thread into a gender flamewar? Not the dozens of other posts throughout this thread of people making unequivocal statements about how A) one cannot speak to women or minorities anymore without being accused of discrimination, B) how "every" (or some variation of that summary) minority/woman are hurting their cause with constant insistence of discrimination? Dang, just because…

I posted dozens of moderation comments in this thread.

Re: Female Founder Secrets: Men Clamming Up

#943

Post by rambambram »

MathCodeLove wrote: post #843
random5634 wrote: post #460

Female founder friend (non tech space) was in a female focused incubator / competition. She got only one set of somewhat critical feedback - ie, lacks experience in X and Y which are key in product space Z. She posted a comment on her social media focusing on this feedback as "criticism" that came from a sexist guy "of course". It was pretty easy to draw the line to the three panelists, one of whom was a guy. Ouch. I…

This victimhood mentality is atrocious and is something I recently wrote about. I don't normally do this but here's a shameless plug if anyone wants to read a bit more about this phenomenon. https://inconvenientconsiderations.blogspot.com/2021/03/hero...

Your article hit home, very good read. Does your blog have an RSS-feed, or is there somewhere I can 'follow' you?

Re: Female Founder Secrets: Men Clamming Up

#944

Post by WrtCdEvrydy »

sidr wrote: post #572
WrtCdEvrydy wrote: post #516

Earlier quoted context omitted.

I think trust is the issue, a person coming to you for answers is coming from a place of vulnerability. I've solved this in the past by asking the person if they want a comforting lie or an honest truth. I still provide feedback in both ways but the honest truth path is what is taken by most people who are able to take negative feedback correctly.

Everyone thinks they want the honest truth. Has anyone ever told you they want you to lie to them?

Yes, usually the management level who wants plausible deniability.

Re: Female Founder Secrets: Men Clamming Up

#945

Post by Der_Einzige »

Der_Einzige wrote: post #66
blabitty wrote: post #45

Earlier quoted context omitted.

I'll probably get downvoted for this but I think desirable vs toxic masculinity tends to depend on whether the woman in question finds the man in question attractive.

Lookism is the final -ism that lacks a social justice movement. Incels and disfigured people are the closest thing to the "underclass" of physical attractiveness. Yes, many time the distinction in the margins between toxic and desirable masculinity is partially based on the attractiveness of the person in question. For what it's worth - men and women are equally bad in regards to lookism. I think we need to simply st…

Btw - this comment is especially funny now because TODAY an article came out claiming that Foucault was actually a pedophile.

https://www.ruetir.com/2021/03/29/writer-says-philosopher-mi...

Re: Female Founder Secrets: Men Clamming Up

#946

Post by barrkel »

rambambram wrote: post #943
MathCodeLove wrote: post #843

Earlier quoted context omitted.

This victimhood mentality is atrocious and is something I recently wrote about. I don't normally do this but here's a shameless plug if anyone wants to read a bit more about this phenomenon. https://inconvenientconsiderations.blogspot.com/2021/03/hero...

Your article hit home, very good read. Does your blog have an RSS-feed, or is there somewhere I can 'follow' you?

Generally append rss.xml or atom.xml to a blogspot url and you've got it.

https://inconvenientconsiderations.blogspot.com/rss.xml

https://inconvenientconsiderations.blogspot.com/atom.xml

Re: Female Founder Secrets: Men Clamming Up

#947

Post by dgiol »

MathCodeLove wrote: post #843
random5634 wrote: post #460

Female founder friend (non tech space) was in a female focused incubator / competition. She got only one set of somewhat critical feedback - ie, lacks experience in X and Y which are key in product space Z. She posted a comment on her social media focusing on this feedback as "criticism" that came from a sexist guy "of course". It was pretty easy to draw the line to the three panelists, one of whom was a guy. Ouch. I…

This victimhood mentality is atrocious and is something I recently wrote about. I don't normally do this but here's a shameless plug if anyone wants to read a bit more about this phenomenon. https://inconvenientconsiderations.blogspot.com/2021/03/hero...

Thanks for sharing this. One of the best pieces I've read on the topic, it's sad to see society's shift in this regard. I agree with you, and we can't know yet what the consequences of this will be in the long term. It seems like it matters less and less how good we are at what we do, and more and more what "class" we are considered to be in.

In my view there are few things more rewarding than taking control of our lives, and stop blaming others for our own shortcomings.

Re: Female Founder Secrets: Men Clamming Up

#948

Post by dang »

stcredzero wrote: post #332

Knowledge of history has gone down, year over year. Students are more likely to get a propagandized and highly skewed caricature of history that leaves out certain "inconvenient truths." This is also an overcorrection.

We detached this subthread from https://news.ycombinator.com/item?id=26614482.

Re: Female Founder Secrets: Men Clamming Up

#949

Post by ryanmarsh »

csours wrote: post #349

This reminds me of Theranos and Elizabeth Holmes. I have to wonder how she may have received criticism of her ideas if there was a baseline of equality of ideas from men and women. Basically, to over-simplify severely, instead of taking criticism as a way to improve, she took it as an attack, which I think was part of what made Theranos insular, overprotective. It would be a bridge too far to link it to the cheating.

I think the difference there is, it seemed like the board and some of the investors were in on the con.

Re: Female Founder Secrets: Men Clamming Up

#950

Post by neura »

Being completely honest and sincere here, I started responses to a couple of the comments, but decided for both that I didn't want to deal with the possible bashing, downvotes, etc for providing even a reminder of what the point of the original article was and that this issue of men not wanting to give critical feedback because of possibly getting dragged through the mud.

I'm not sure if this is irony or just sadness.

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