I would like to first acknowledge the feelings of what I read to be anger, frustration & pain you expressed in your comment. (If I've misinterpreted what you've written, I am open to reading further clarification if that's something you felt like investing effort into.)
While my life experience has been different to yours, from what you've written about how you've been treated by others in your community, as a consequence of who you are, it seems understandable to me that you might experience those feelings--and, even if they didn't seem understandable to me, it is more important to me that you feel heard and your feelings acknowledged as valid and not dismissed.
I hope I have been able to communicate that intent effectively.
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At the risk of falling into the stereotype traps of "straight white male thinks every rhetorical invitation is a literal invitation for him to say what he thinks" & "straight-splaining" I did want to provide an answer to the question in the last sentence here:
> "As another anecdote, when I talk to my friends about Rust, the subject of "drama" frequently comes up. Why is that? Suddenly my work becomes harder for an entirely unrelated and unmerited reason. That's just me as an LGBT person - imagine how straight people feel."
(I preface the following with an acknowledgement that it's bullshit that you have had to deal with the impact of this rather than the predominantly straight white males who don't want to be made to feel uncomfortable.)
TL;DR:
FWIW, from my perspective as a straight white male I feel the subject of "Public Interpersonal Conflict" attributed to Rust is directly related to values rightfully espoused/embodied by the Rust project/community/language that are at odds with values held by other groups.
Specifically, groups consisting of predominantly straight white males believe that the comfort of predominantly highly skilled straight white males should be prioritized over the physical well-being of other humans; and, also over the security and stability of the software other humans use.
They are also unlikely to agree with this characterization.
Unlike the above group however, rather than targeting resentment at the people whose physical well-being is at risk I choose to direct my resentment at the predominantly straight white males who choose to dismiss important issues as unimportant "drama" because they resent being "made" to think about issues that impact people other than themselves.
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For anyone who disagrees with my characterization I would point out that we do not know what other contributions Alan Turing may have contributed beyond "Turing Completeness" & "the Turing Test" to current in-demand fields such as AI if he hadn't been persecuted for not being a straight white male.
I would also remind them the ARM CPU attached to that unified memory on which they're running their latest AGI & LLM models is thanks to another person some people in the present day think should be persecuted for daring to exist.
But equally people shouldn't have to trade advancements in the field of Computer Science for the right to exist without persecution.
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I will acknowledge that its entirely understandable to want to avoid the associated discomfort because from personal experience it is very uncomfortable to have to re-evaluate one's place & responsibility in the world after a lifetime of being told something different.
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The other ~2,500 words I wrote on the topic was certainly more nuanced but pretty much said the same thing with more beating around the bush with additional personal context.
For any straight white males who may be confused why someone might think as I do, all I can say is that time spent reading/listening to this (unfortunately, archived) resource is likely to be worthwhile, if temporarily uncomfortable: https://geekfeminism.fandom.com/wiki/Geek_Feminism_Wiki