It seems the website to get the created "game" is rejectiontherapy.com . That website is selling a single pdf of these cards for $10? That is quite a killing...
By Making a Game Out of Rejection, a Man Conquers Fear
91–100 of 110 posts
Re: By Making a Game Out of Rejection, a Man Conquers Fear
#92Earlier quoted context omitted.
I don't find anything in that story to be douchey. What he's really doing is using interaction with women as practice to be better at interaction with women. I'm not really sure how else he should do it. Maybe he could have established friendships with them, and "used" them even further?
"What he's really doing is using interaction with women as practice to be better at interaction with women. " Specifically, by learning to not care about the women in question or the interactions. This is why comparing talking to people with shooting freethrows is goddamn weird. People are not basketball rims. The basketball rim lacks subjective experience.
> Specifically, by learning to not care about the women in question or the interactions.
Well, at least some fear of rejection is fuelled by caring too much. 'If I ask her out and she says no then she'll hate me and they'll hate me and I'll hate me and I'll want to die and I'll curl up into a ball and retreat from the world and die!'
Sometimes one does have to learn to care a little bit less, in order to get the chance start to learn how to genuinely care for the real person, not the made-up person in one's mind.
Re: By Making a Game Out of Rejection, a Man Conquers Fear
#93I have a problem that's opposite of his: a fear of acceptance. Making a game out of the rejection game is all fun, except when you don't get rejections. Imagine the guy you ask for a ride across the town actually insists you take the ride with him. The girl (re: an earlier comment)who you ask for a number gives you her number, but also asks for yours, and actually calls you to make sure it's right. So here's my conun…
[deleted]
Re: By Making a Game Out of Rejection, a Man Conquers Fear
#94Earlier quoted context omitted.
That's a bit (I admit not entirely) like saying that "Maybe all those free-throws you practiced between games didn't score us any actual points." 100% of the women he didn't ask did not give him his number. The exercise served the purpose of pushing him past the fear that would have otherwise paralyzed him during a real request.
Except women are people, not inanimate objects to bounce balls off of. Those women did not choose to participate in SeanDav's practice, and it was not cost-free to them to be used and discarded that way. More to brazzy's point, SeanDav doesn't get to decide how he comes across to people. Pretty young women get hit on constantly and it is really exhausting and demoralizing to be rudely interrupted every five minutes w…
> Those women did not choose to participate in SeanDav's practice, and it was not cost-free to them to be used and discarded that way.
Isn't it sad that the womens' fathers treated their mothers like inanimate objects when they courted them for marriage (or whatever level of relationship led to child-bearing that produced those women ) ?
Those mothers-to-be did not choose to participate in the fathers-to-be's practice, and it was not cost-free for them to be used and courted that way.
Those mothers-to-be were exhaustedly and demoralizingly and rudely interrupted, perhaps as often as every 5 minutes (although there are no sources to back this up) while out in public, by people who pretended to be friendly but had ulterior motives. Those mothers-to-be considered that interruption unpleasant and at least somewhat creepy, even though that awful inappropriate experience actually led to a couple who created a new generation of human beings for the world.
Those mothers-to-be were not socialized to tell those fathers-to-be to f-ck off right away, otherwise they wouldn't have had (at least some) lifelong relationships that produced children. Some of those mothers-to-be were certainly made extremely uncomfortable. How dare those fathers-to-be take action on their biological instincts?!?
Re: By Making a Game Out of Rejection, a Man Conquers Fear
#95Earlier quoted context omitted.
Indeed, better that SeanDev have suffered a lifetime of loneliness and social anxiety than an attractive woman suffer through even a single socially awkward moment. God knows their lives are hard enough already.
My question would be, what's a real alternative to practice making perfect, done in the way that best respects the person being asked out and their physical integrity? "Not doing anything at all" seems unrealistic, in a world where males are essentialized as the pursuers and women as the pursued, an unfortunate but for now real state of affairs. "Simply will yourself to normalcy!" is almost offensive to me, since it…
Practice is great! Girls want to meet guys as much as guys want to meet girls! Here is my take on how to do it respectfully:
1) Do not limit yourself to only the prettiest girls. The whole beautiful girl/rich guy dichotomy is ugly. Do you want to be seen as a full-spectrum human being and not just a walking wallet? Then see girls as full-spectrum human beings and not just tits on legs.
2) For god's sake, do not set up a lose-lose situation for the other person. SeanDev's practice method has two possible outcomes: if the girl does not like him, well then he just added to the endless stream of go-nowhere "sales calls" that she has to answer all day long; but if she does like him, then she feels sad and disappointed that he didn't call for a date. The whole thing is just so... disingenuous and defeatist.
3) Practice in an environment where girls are actually looking to meet guys. Dating sites is one obvious example, bars is another. Ambushing women as they go about their daily business is problematic. Human interactions are complex and there are no scripts but the closer you can get to implied consent the better.
3a) It's hard for anyone to meet sexually/intellectually/temperamentally compatible people on the street. I am a conventionally attractive woman; I've been approached on the street probably over 10,000 times (a totally unscientific but conservative back-of-the-envelope estimate) and I can tell you that it's never led to anything. Bars and parties have better outcomes, and being out and about doing fun stuff has yet better outcomes. For example yoga and volunteering are over-run by women, at least in cities where I've lived.
4) The initial conversation with someone you want to get with is no different than the initial conversation with someone you have no interest in getting with. I think that's the hardest thing for some guys to wrap their head around, hence all the weird "cheat codes for women" floating about. Social anxiety is a real thing but there is no rule that you need to hit on the prettiest girl in the room to get over it. I've practiced my social skills on strangers that I have no interest in, and it's helped me a lot. Granted my social anxiety is not very high to begin with - if yours is debilitating, see a doctor, it's treatable!
Speaking of social anxiety. I don't want to re-open the whole Scott Aaronson debacle either but since you mentioned him I'd like to point out that he actually went to a physician to request castration as a solution to his social anxiety issues so we are talking about an exceptionally disturbed individual who attempted a full-on sexual suicide. The vast majority of people - men and women both - are not looking to "kill" themselves so I think it's superfluous to bring him into this discussion. I don't mean that as a jab, I just mean that it is unhelpful to mentally lump yourself in with someone like SA.
Re: By Making a Game Out of Rejection, a Man Conquers Fear
#96I play Go and chess, and I think of it this way: the best players may have won more than others, but they have also lost more than others, because they have simply played more games. Frequent loss or rejection is a necessary step to goodness. This also applies to business, the opposite sex, and most anything else that might matter to you. Or, to paraphrase many an artist and CEO: if I have not failed today, it means…
A master has lost more times than a novice has played.
Re: By Making a Game Out of Rejection, a Man Conquers Fear
#97Earlier quoted context omitted.
Except women are people, not inanimate objects to bounce balls off of. Those women did not choose to participate in SeanDav's practice, and it was not cost-free to them to be used and discarded that way. More to brazzy's point, SeanDav doesn't get to decide how he comes across to people. Pretty young women get hit on constantly and it is really exhausting and demoralizing to be rudely interrupted every five minutes w…
Pretty young women get hit on constantly and it is really exhausting and demoralizing to be rudely interrupted every five minutes while out in public Holy hyperbole. I have two sisters that are very pretty and their chief complaint growing up was that men were too intimidated by them and never hit on them. As a 6'7" man I cannot walk anywhere without being "rudely interrupted" as you say by people bringing up my heig…
I appreciate that you are relaying your sisters' experiences and I want to respect that they may be different from mine. I hope you can equally respect that I am speaking from personal experience as well, as opposed to watching those "staged" (huh?) street harassment videos. It is not a hyperbole to me, my twenties were spent getting hit on every 5 minutes while in public. Granted this was in NYC where street harassment is especially egregious.
Re: By Making a Game Out of Rejection, a Man Conquers Fear
#98Earlier quoted context omitted.
My question would be, what's a real alternative to practice making perfect, done in the way that best respects the person being asked out and their physical integrity? "Not doing anything at all" seems unrealistic, in a world where males are essentialized as the pursuers and women as the pursued, an unfortunate but for now real state of affairs. "Simply will yourself to normalcy!" is almost offensive to me, since it…
Practice is great! Girls want to meet guys as much as guys want to meet girls! Here is my take on how to do it respectfully: 1) Do not limit yourself to only the prettiest girls. The whole beautiful girl/rich guy dichotomy is ugly. Do you want to be seen as a full-spectrum human being and not just a walking wallet? Then see girls as full-spectrum human beings and not just tits on legs. 2) For god's sake, do not set u…
Solid advice, and I like your point about SA--his experience was extreme enough that I wouldn't be surprised if it's totally unique, and yet everyone wants to have a debate as if his is typical or representative.
Re: By Making a Game Out of Rejection, a Man Conquers Fear
#99Earlier quoted context omitted.
Pretty young women get hit on constantly and it is really exhausting and demoralizing to be rudely interrupted every five minutes while out in public Holy hyperbole. I have two sisters that are very pretty and their chief complaint growing up was that men were too intimidated by them and never hit on them. As a 6'7" man I cannot walk anywhere without being "rudely interrupted" as you say by people bringing up my heig…
I appreciate that you are relaying your sisters' experiences and I want to respect that they may be different from mine. I hope you can equally respect that I am speaking from personal experience as well, as opposed to watching those "staged" (huh?) street harassment videos. It is not a hyperbole to me, my twenties were spent getting hit on every 5 minutes while in public. Granted this was in NYC where street harassm…
It is not a hyperbole to me, my twenties were spent getting hit on every 5 minutes while in public.
So since it's not hyperbole, let's figure you were in public an hour a day in your twenties. That is 1 hour x 365 days x 10 years. So you were in public an estimated 3,650 hours during that decade. There are 12 five minute increments per hour, so that means you were hit on 43,800 times in your 20s. And that's only if you were in public an hour a day which is probably a fraction of reality! It's much more likely you've been hit on by literally hundreds of thousands of men if you weren't just making "exaggerated statements or claims not meant to be taken literally" (i.e. the definition of hyperbole if you were unaware).
You poor thing, you must make Helen of Troy look like a hag.
Re: By Making a Game Out of Rejection, a Man Conquers Fear
#100Earlier quoted context omitted.
Except women are people, not inanimate objects to bounce balls off of. Those women did not choose to participate in SeanDav's practice, and it was not cost-free to them to be used and discarded that way. More to brazzy's point, SeanDav doesn't get to decide how he comes across to people. Pretty young women get hit on constantly and it is really exhausting and demoralizing to be rudely interrupted every five minutes w…
> Those women did not choose to participate in SeanDav's practice, and it was not cost-free to them to be used and discarded that way. Isn't it sad that the womens' fathers treated their mothers like inanimate objects when they courted them for marriage (or whatever level of relationship led to child-bearing that produced those women ) ? Those mothers-to-be did not choose to participate in the fathers-to-be's practic…
Your comment does not compute: SeanDav collects women's phone numbers but does not actually call them.