+ Priorities shift dramatically. I see director level people running around like chickens without heads trying to fill in an excel sheet because one of the higher ups has sent down a directive; without them realizing that the time spent doing so is meaningless dribble that doesn't matter. It's like things that were not obvious time sinks are now very obvious and I'm less patient (of nonsense) because I have something more important to care about.
Becoming a dad changes men's brains
91–100 of 112 posts
Re: Becoming a dad changes men's brains
#92Exaggerating a bit, I felt like my old self was dead and I just happened to somehow have inherited his memories. But a more concrete thing: While before I might have been saddened about bad things happening to kids, like any normal person would, after having kids myself I experience an stronger reaction: I get almost physically ill when I hear about kids getting harmed.
Re: Becoming a dad changes men's brains
#93Earlier quoted context omitted.
This. Also, the feelings have become stronger as I age.
So much stronger. I went from completely understanding the "we should have restaurants/theatres/etc. where no kids are allowed" people to finding the notion totally incompatible with a healthy society. I love kids. I want to see them thrive and grow. I want to invest my taxes into their success. I vote for affordable daycare. I vote for expanding school programs. I take kids in my complex to look at stuff with the te…
Re: Becoming a dad changes men's brains
#94Earlier quoted context omitted.
Empathy, I’m not sure, but I can confirm the lack of patience. I had less time, less energy, and my tolerance for BS plummeted accordingly.
The lack of tolerance towards BS and people being difficult in general has gone out the window for sure. In the morning, sure, you get a lot of slack, but when the kindergarten closes at 16:30 and it's now 15:30, I don't have time for people being difficult. We solve the problem, we have 30 minutes, if you're being difficult I'll ignore you. You can complain tomorrow.
Re: Becoming a dad changes men's brains
#95Earlier quoted context omitted.
That is almost too hard to believe. Sleep less? Ok. More fragmented? Doubtful, unless your baby slept more than 4hrs straight in their infancy.
Students also tend to be younger. We could all survive on 4h as young adults, I imagine. Our kid sleeps like crap, some nights I don’t get any full cycles (~90 minutes in adults). I’ve no idea why we’re trying for a second, send help.
Re: Becoming a dad changes men's brains
#96The first born defenitely changed me somehow. As if some evolution gene was suddenly ordering me "You will protect this with everything in your power!" The second born, not so much. Perhaps the brain was already settled in the right configuration :)
For me, my first born taught me that love is infinite, no matter how much I loved my wife, that little creature was getting all my love as well, somehow as if there were some parallel source of infinite love for the two of them. Our second born, taught me that exact same lesson, again - that no matter what, there will always be three human beings in my life for which my love is infinite, and that I would step in fron…
Re: Becoming a dad changes men's brains
#97Earlier quoted context omitted.
So much stronger. I went from completely understanding the "we should have restaurants/theatres/etc. where no kids are allowed" people to finding the notion totally incompatible with a healthy society. I love kids. I want to see them thrive and grow. I want to invest my taxes into their success. I vote for affordable daycare. I vote for expanding school programs. I take kids in my complex to look at stuff with the te…
Before mine was born at the workplace they complained about how long paternity leave was and how unfair it was to those without kids. Now that I'm on the other side, anybody who thinks that is a jerk. Yes likely everyone deserves more time off, but don't you dare think that paternity leave is "time off".
The best ways seem to be things kids get directly, such as school lunches, better libraries, affordable child care, equipment at schools, etc. where parents don't need to be handed cash by the government.
But you're right, people get very up in arms about it (what about us?!). Society with an uneducated/un-cared for generation of kids is terrifying, though. I'm currently watching my oldest kids head into graduation with a cohort of kids who are clearly less educated than my graduating class was, and I'm dreading the knock-on effects. I feel for the kids too, but looking at this from a societal perspective: we're all going to pay the price for this. We should have invested up front.
In this case it's not possible to be certain yet, but the primary detriments to education among this cohort are probably covid lock-down and perhaps phones/social media? We got something wrong, regardless. They are less literate than previous cohorts have been for decades, apparently. Math scores are also much lower. Rates of plagiarism are so high that it's virtually impossible to address meaningfully.
All that is to say I think we should be doing a lot to ensure families and ultimately kids are able to thrive and do their best. Society ultimately profits from it, across demographics, for decades.
Re: Becoming a dad changes men's brains
#98Exaggerating a bit, I felt like my old self was dead and I just happened to somehow have inherited his memories. But a more concrete thing: While before I might have been saddened about bad things happening to kids, like any normal person would, after having kids myself I experience an stronger reaction: I get almost physically ill when I hear about kids getting harmed.
> I get almost physically ill when I hear about kids getting harmed. This is how Israel's war radicalized me, I stopped watching videos, but they made me depressed, burned out, angry, because everytime I watched videos, my brain started asking "what would I do if this happened to my kids, would I join Hamas? probably yes" I got burned out from these thoughts
Re: Becoming a dad changes men's brains
#99Earlier quoted context omitted.
That is almost too hard to believe. Sleep less? Ok. More fragmented? Doubtful, unless your baby slept more than 4hrs straight in their infancy.
Students also tend to be younger. We could all survive on 4h as young adults, I imagine. Our kid sleeps like crap, some nights I don’t get any full cycles (~90 minutes in adults). I’ve no idea why we’re trying for a second, send help.
Re: Becoming a dad changes men's brains
#100Earlier quoted context omitted.
I slept way less and more fragmented when I was a student.
That is almost too hard to believe. Sleep less? Ok. More fragmented? Doubtful, unless your baby slept more than 4hrs straight in their infancy.