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Why I email complete strangers

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Re: Why I email complete strangers

#91

Post by stavros »

ssl-3 wrote: post #24
Waterluvian wrote: post #14

I’ve had about 10 emails about things I’ve said or presented on this website. I haven’t replied to all of them, which makes me feel bad because each one of them was a nice little surprise on any random day. I worry that no response makes people feel bad. I just can’t respond sometimes because of the anxiety I struggle with. But gosh do I love hearing from strangers about anything. I bet if I can get more comfortable…

I struggle with interacting with random people, too. I'm alright with writing stuff that is largely impersonal and in public (like here on HN), but there's something about a direct email or a real in-person conversation with someone who I don't know that makes me feel anxious in ways that I don't like. Maybe it's because I feel like I don't have all the right answers, or that it might be an uphill battle for me in so…

I'm like this with calls. I'll correspond with you on email all day long if you want, but if I'm asked to have a random chat call with a stranger, I get really averse to it.

Re: Why I email complete strangers

#92

Post by patrickmay »

Gigachad wrote: post #63
Ritewut wrote: post #53

Earlier quoted context omitted.

This is funny but true. I don't think I've spoken to my neighbors in any place I've lived in 10 years other than maybe awkwardly running into each other in the hallway.

In apartments this has always been the case for me. I moved in to a townhouse recently and the neighbours on one side spend half the day gardening out the front so I do end up talking to them. I think it would be nice if apartment buildings prioritised making some communal space that’s comfortable to hang out in so you’d have a chance to chat with people who live in the building. Usually it’s just some token couch in…

Have you tried nailing 95 theses to their doors, by way of introduction?

Re: Why I email complete strangers

#93

Post by giancarlostoro »

thombles wrote: post #2

A low-risk way to dip your toes in is to email a blogger to say that you enjoyed their post or that you found it helpful. The message doesn’t have to have useful information in it, just be sincere. Per OP, often there won’t be a reply but also often it’s much appreciated - particularly by non-mainstream writers.

I don't often email the HN mods, but now and then I'll pitch an idea, and they respond. I usually end it with a big thank you to all of them, because they do thankless work, though I think most here on HN appreciate them for their work, this is an out of the norm community. :)

Re: Why I email complete strangers

#94

Post by bluebarbet »

tsylba wrote: post #65
foxfired wrote: post #41

Whenever I write something that gets some traction, I get emails. I can't tell you how much I appreciate it. One of them is from a guy that tells me "I love your blog, but you got terrible spelling." If it wasn't for him, I wouldn't bother doing a spellcheck before publishing.

I'm always saying it's better to finish on a good note rather than a bad one, " but " (eg. "You're stupid but I love you" vs "I love you but you're stupid"), but that's the kind of case where it's clearly better to do the reverse. Huh.

This is my strategy with forum comments. Always try to end with a compliment. Takes the edge off any criticism and makes an angry reply much less likely.

Re: Why I email complete strangers

#95

Post by vablings »

thombles wrote: post #2

A low-risk way to dip your toes in is to email a blogger to say that you enjoyed their post or that you found it helpful. The message doesn’t have to have useful information in it, just be sincere. Per OP, often there won’t be a reply but also often it’s much appreciated - particularly by non-mainstream writers.

As a member of the younger generation, nobody really explained to me how powerful email contact actually is. Anyone who leaves an email somewhere for me to contact them gets a big kudos, anyone who also then replies to my email within 15 minutes is amazing and I always appreciate a direct line of communication.

I do wish IOS would support push mail for private mail servers.... You can't have everything I guess

Re: Why I email complete strangers

#96

Post by rcbdev »

Xmd5a wrote: post #73
annzabelle wrote: post #28

Earlier quoted context omitted.

My senior year of college, I emailed a Danish/Swedish professor (had lived in both countries and published in both languages) about a niche research article he had published that I was unable to find. He not only sent me the article, but mailed a couple copies of his books to me in the US. Sadly, my Scandinavian reading comprehension has plummeted since then and I am unable to read his books anymore, but they sit on…

Tall, handsome, professors I bet! I find myself in a similar situation. Drafting an email to an academic. And as I decipher her motivations with respect to her own work from micro-expressions she had in an interview, I start to think we're not that different. I'm falling in love, how embarrassing ...

This comment is a little creepy.

Re: Why I email complete strangers

#97

Post by adityaathalye »

Hey, I do this too, and I absolutely love receiving thoughtful e-letters, the few times a year they happen!

Here are my reasons, copied from my site's "Standing Invitation" [0].

> Email me just because (not just for work). Whatever feeds your curiosity; silly, fun, nerdy, serious.

> Why?

> 1. Do unto me what I have done unto others. I habitually cold-email anyone who moves me in some way (joy, insight, utility, mind shift…). I also love to receive such email!

> 2. There is too little unsolicited positive feedback in much of most of our lives. At some point in the fuzzy past, I decided enough was enough. At least someone somewhere ought to feel good sometime for no reason whatsoever. Since that realisation, I have cold-emailed people willy-nilly. See also: Saying Thank You [1], and Days Are Easily Made [2].

> 3. It's always been a delight; no regrets. You should try it too!

> So, let serendipity reign; write away!

[0] https://www.evalapply.org/about.html#standing-invitation

[1] https://blog.jim-nielsen.com/2022/saying-thank-you/

[2] https://www.autodidacts.io/how-to-make-someones-day/

Re: Why I email complete strangers

#99

Post by Ritewut »

Gigachad wrote: post #63
Ritewut wrote: post #53

Earlier quoted context omitted.

This is funny but true. I don't think I've spoken to my neighbors in any place I've lived in 10 years other than maybe awkwardly running into each other in the hallway.

In apartments this has always been the case for me. I moved in to a townhouse recently and the neighbours on one side spend half the day gardening out the front so I do end up talking to them. I think it would be nice if apartment buildings prioritised making some communal space that’s comfortable to hang out in so you’d have a chance to chat with people who live in the building. Usually it’s just some token couch in…

Most apartments I've lived in have a communal rec room of sorts. No one ever uses it.

Re: Why I email complete strangers

#100

Post by hasudon7171 »

I’ve never received a heartwarming message before. (Though maybe that’s just because I haven’t been sharing any useful information so far.)

Instead, I’ve received a few emails that seemed like copy-and-paste sales pitches, so I naturally became wary of emails from strangers, thinking, “Oh, another sales pitch…”

But I had no idea there were people out there who thought this way! Thank you for introducing me to this new way of thinking.

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