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The unbearable joy of sitting alone in a café

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Re: The unbearable joy of sitting alone in a café

#91

Post by moooo99 »

lanfeust6 wrote: post #52
moooo99 wrote: post #25

Earlier quoted context omitted.

> I think the important part is leaving your phone and other devices home. The annoying part is that this becomes increasingly difficult to impossible. For example, I can't use public transport without my phone anymore, because my ticket is bound to my phone and the provider does not issue paper tickets or smartcards anymore. Less severe but equally frustrating, many restaurants choose to use QR codes for menus rathe…

I don't see any reason you need to continue using your phone once boarded. But yes parting the home without is impractical.

Oh without the exception of the occasional ticket checks or checking a connecting train, there really is no actual reason. But as everybody knows, old habits die hard.

Re: The unbearable joy of sitting alone in a café

#92

Post by moooo99 »

JoeAltmaier wrote: post #38
moooo99 wrote: post #25

Earlier quoted context omitted.

> I think the important part is leaving your phone and other devices home. The annoying part is that this becomes increasingly difficult to impossible. For example, I can't use public transport without my phone anymore, because my ticket is bound to my phone and the provider does not issue paper tickets or smartcards anymore. Less severe but equally frustrating, many restaurants choose to use QR codes for menus rathe…

I've avoided the restaurant-QR-code deal so far. They don't have a menu I can read? I walk out.

I've been fairly successful at avoiding spots like that myself, also by just walking out. But its completely impractical if you're meeting up with (multiple) people.

Re: The unbearable joy of sitting alone in a café

#95

Post by DenisM »

moooo99 wrote: post #25
delis-thumbs-7e wrote: post #9

I didn’t quite understand why sitting alone in a café makes you a weirdo (is it an American thing?), but the piece was very well written. We all should learn how to be without electronics for every now and then, accompanied only our thoughts. It is good for the soul. I think the important part is leaving your phone and other devices home. Be alone, without even a possibility of connecting (apart from the old-fashione…

> I think the important part is leaving your phone and other devices home. The annoying part is that this becomes increasingly difficult to impossible. For example, I can't use public transport without my phone anymore, because my ticket is bound to my phone and the provider does not issue paper tickets or smartcards anymore. Less severe but equally frustrating, many restaurants choose to use QR codes for menus rathe…

Get two phones. One for carrying around, lock it down 100% with parental controls against all distractions. The other one unlocked.

Parental controls are underrated.

Re: The unbearable joy of sitting alone in a café

#96

Post by reg_dunlop »

cm2012 wrote: post #69
unsungNovelty wrote: post #50

Too many negative comments here. This is just someone discovering something new and sharing it very excitedly. Almost 6-7 years ago, I read about a 30min challenge to sit upright without doing anything in a chair challenge. That changed how I think about distractions. If I had written about it, there surely will be people who would just like here say... What is so crazy about it? I do that all the time... To me, this…

Trying to sit still for 30 min without any stimulation at all (no talking, watching, reading) sounds like torture to me.

My therapist used to say: this means you must do it for 40 minutes

Re: The unbearable joy of sitting alone in a café

#97

Post by moffkalast »

> There were a few moments I put my hand into my pocket to take out my phone to look up something I was curious about. My phone wasn’t there.

> I smiled. Every. Single. Time.

> On the second day, I randomly walked into a neighborhood café. I ordered an americano with a double shot of espresso.

And then I paid for the coffee with my pho- oh fuck.

Re: The unbearable joy of sitting alone in a café

#98

Post by nirava »

sdoering wrote: post #35

[flagged]

It is kind of like coffee right? It's just bitter liquid that makes us feel good. But a good coffee is very enjoyable once in a while.

The writing might not be innovative or groundbreaking, but it is a great and relaxing piece of text that helps me connect to another person. It was a good read.

Re: The unbearable joy of sitting alone in a café

#99

Post by bdangubic »

tayo42 wrote: post #64
bdangubic wrote: post #57

Earlier quoted context omitted.

people work out without paying $200+/month to go to the gym :)

There's all kind of gyms besides weights and treadmill gyms though. And a gym like la fitness is 30/mo

planet fitness is my area is $15/month and I still would not pay it

Re: The unbearable joy of sitting alone in a café

#100

Post by moooo99 »

arccy wrote: post #28
moooo99 wrote: post #25

Earlier quoted context omitted.

> I think the important part is leaving your phone and other devices home. The annoying part is that this becomes increasingly difficult to impossible. For example, I can't use public transport without my phone anymore, because my ticket is bound to my phone and the provider does not issue paper tickets or smartcards anymore. Less severe but equally frustrating, many restaurants choose to use QR codes for menus rathe…

with a modicum of self control, you can turn off your phone when it's not needed.

The problem with the reliance on self control is the self control. You have it or you don't. While I generally agree just exercising pure self control may be a viable strategy for some, it does not work for everyone. Particularly people with ADHD do have a tendency to be easily captured by screens.

I've personally struggled with adherence to my reduce screen time goals and while exercising more self control has helped, making active choices about my environment did help a lot more. And I like it that way, and I hate to see these choices be torpedoed all the time

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