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What is the nicest thing a stranger has ever done for you?

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Re: What is the nicest thing a stranger has ever done for you?

#91

My chain had slipped off the rear sprocket, wedged itself between the gear and the frame. I forgot my toolkit and I was unable to free it. I was miles out of town so a walk back was going to take hours. A guy on a motorcycle rode by, looked at me and turned around. He got off his bike, got his tools, and freed the chain in seconds. I was profoundly grateful. Years later, I happened across a cyclist in a similar situa…

I find that cyclists often help cyclists. ‘Help the next guy’ being a phrase I’ve heard a few times.

A $5 tube is so small a cost. Not having one can make a minor inconvenience into an utter shambles if you have to call home go a lift from 50km away at 6am.

Re: What is the nicest thing a stranger has ever done for you?

#92
In general, I've found that people, even strangers, kind of look out for you. I've only had occasion to need this in America, but every time strangers have helped. What I found fascinating was that even late in the night, on a dark highway, a young woman would stop to assist. What a safe society.

Two of those occasions are when I crashed on my skateboard, and when I crashed my car. Both times, a young woman stopped to help me[0]. In fact, I'd be hard pressed to say when people haven't been kind to me. A girl on a train gave me the book she finished reading. A homeless guy helped me push a car[2]. I left my car open once with everything inside and a passing woman closed it for me and left a note.

But also the society built here assists competently when individuals cannot. After a motorcycle accident in the city, the ambulance was there to pick me up apparently (I wouldn't know, I have amnesia) within minutes.

We've always stopped to help when we can and have many times (a few in SF here[2]) but it is gratifying that others are also like that. The other thing I like is that people don't mind asking for help. I was at the Safeway up in Diamond Heights, all in my motorcycle gear (which some can find intimidating) and this old lady asked for help with her car boot. Why on Earth would I know? But it turned out to be a quick fix and while I sorted the latch out, this other elderly couple talked to me about the husband's Ducati which he used to have.

In fact, I have come to think about this non-kin pro-sociality as being some sort of sociocultural superpower among the societies that can practice it. It seems to me that the most successful societies practised this. Even in the age of empire, it seems some societies were more capable of pro-social outcomes. British imperialism was a brutal thing in many places and especially earlier in its time, but compared to intra-tribal violence among indigenous peoples it seems almost civilized. The bare minimum rise to civilization seems to have been to replace terminal fatal violence with non-terminal subjugation (which seems to have been a hard thing to achieve). The Maori left only a hundred or so Moriori alive, and ate and killed the rest. By comparison, the British had the Maori in parliament.

Similarly, the father of the Charlie Kirk shooter encouraged him to give himself up: placing his kin at the mercy of his non-kin society. I think this kind of non-kin pro-sociality is where the magic is in a successful society. But producing that is hard. As an example, no matter how much a young woman would want to help a man waving her down on the side of the road, she should not do so in Somalia. American society (and many others) has solved, for the most part, the problem of stranger trust. That enables this kind of cooperation, which enables large-scale coordination, which helps a society prosper.

This reminds me of what A Splendid Exchange says about the Qu'ran having rules on commerce and law: thereby allowing the Islamic world to prosper because any Muslim of the time could meet another Muslim of the time and know they lived by the same law (enforced by God, one presumes). This allowed stranger-trust across the seas.

Overall, quite fascinating. These societal innovations are devices that last for some period of time and provide a massive boost to those societies. Certainly whatever Dutch system existed to enforce joint-stock capital, a secondary market, and derivatives allowed them to coordinate to be the power they were at the time[3]. I wonder what the next such device will be.

The default of humanity seems to be to cooperate[4], so the hard part here is finding the device that fights exploitation of pro-sociality.

0: https://wiki.roshangeorge.dev/w/Blog/2024-08-14/Fearless_Ame...

1: https://wiki.roshangeorge.dev/w/Motorcycle_Accident

2: https://wiki.roshangeorge.dev/w/Blog/2025-02-20/Car_Breakdow...

3: Though the flip side is the zielverkopers - people who turned labor into a tradable commodity but using what is in practice debt bondage

4: In some sense, all living beings are formed from cooperation

Re: What is the nicest thing a stranger has ever done for you?

#93
post #76

My chain had slipped off the rear sprocket, wedged itself between the gear and the frame. I forgot my toolkit and I was unable to free it. I was miles out of town so a walk back was going to take hours. A guy on a motorcycle rode by, looked at me and turned around. He got off his bike, got his tools, and freed the chain in seconds. I was profoundly grateful. Years later, I happened across a cyclist in a similar situa…

I'm something of a cyclist and I drive on a lot of roads where there are cyclists all the time. I keep meaning to make sure my car is stocked with some helpful bike tools or a spare tube or something. I need to get on that.

A few tubes, CO2 or a pump and some tyre levers.

You’ll be a super hero.

Re: What is the nicest thing a stranger has ever done for you?

#94
post #39

I live in Minnesota and do not own a snowblower. Probably my mistake, but I always joke that I get most of my exercise in the winter. Snow is really heavy for those without context. A couple years ago we had a particularly bad snowfall. The plow has a nasty hate filled habit of dumping all its snow in my driveway. I had a drift at the end of my driveway about 4 feet high and 6 feet deep. Literally up to my chest. I h…

Plot twist: He just wanted an excuse to try out his new snowblower.

can you blame him? guy has a Bobcat!

Re: What is the nicest thing a stranger has ever done for you?

#95
I could write all day about the times people helped me that I know about, and there's others I suspect, and surely others I never suspected.

One that comes to mind was when I was on my own as a teen, and fortunately had a community college co-op student internship. My coworkers looked out for me in various ways, both professionally and personally, as if it was just ordinary for them.

I also found some similar above-and-beyond goodness by people at Brown University.

So that's what I knew in adulthood, until later disillusionment.

I still try to promote the way that I know exists, and I recognize a lot of other people who live that, or are ready to switch to it.

Re: What is the nicest thing a stranger has ever done for you?

#96
post #39

I live in Minnesota and do not own a snowblower. Probably my mistake, but I always joke that I get most of my exercise in the winter. Snow is really heavy for those without context. A couple years ago we had a particularly bad snowfall. The plow has a nasty hate filled habit of dumping all its snow in my driveway. I had a drift at the end of my driveway about 4 feet high and 6 feet deep. Literally up to my chest. I h…

Just be wary as you get older. The number of old men who die from heart attacks while shoveling snow is nonzero

Re: What is the nicest thing a stranger has ever done for you?

#97

Took a few months off of work and decided to bicycle through the Philippines. One day was a very hard mountain stage, driving from Bacolod to San Carlos, on Negros island. Arrived at the top completely exhausted, layed on the roadside in an attempt to recover. Suddenly a car stopped and a young couple of locals handed me a sandwich and wished me luck. I'll never forget them

If a hill climb has you lying down at the top, that’s got to be a good hill.

Re: What is the nicest thing a stranger has ever done for you?

#98
post #63

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Plot twist: He just wanted an excuse to try out his new snowblower.

There’s more of this than you might expect. First time I got to turn on my new Toro I went the entire way around the block.

The other side of the equation is my now dead toro had me covered in gas, frozen fingers, and plenty of swearing, with an itching desire to light it ablaze in the middle of the yard.

Tis the cycle of snow blower ownership.

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