Hacker News Board Hacker News, browsed like a classic message board
Live data from Hacker News

Facts about throwing good parties

atvbt.com

Post reply on HN
Print view View original

91–100 of 431 posts

Re: Facts about throwing good parties

#91

Post by nixpulvis »

GrifMD wrote: post #85
nixpulvis wrote: post #84

What do you do if you only have like two friend (who don't know each other) these days, and you want to get them to invite their friends... I'm planning a thing for the 8th and super worried it's going to be like 4 of us and we're going to hate it.

You've gotta change it from "you're throwing a party" to "we're throwing party". Or just ask them to invite some people man, don't stress.

Yea I have. Still waiting to hear confirmation that anyone they know is coming... but that still only puts us at like 6 people :/

Re: Facts about throwing good parties

#92

Post by xhrpost »

kashnote wrote: post #34

Love all of these tips. I've hosted dozens of events since moving to NYC and figured I'd add 5 more: 1. If this is a dinner party (or people are all seated), force people to get up and move in a way that they'll meet new people. Do this when you're about 2/3 of the way through the party. Some will complain - do it anyway. 2. Plan 1 (ideally 2) interludes. It can be a small speech, moving people around, changing locat…

I feel like hosting in NYC is even more of a public service given that space is limited and not everyone has a living situation suited for it. Props to you for making it happen. Been doing what I can here as well. Cheers!

Re: Facts about throwing good parties

#93

Post by varenc »

kelseydh wrote: post #47
nicbou wrote: post #15

I prefer to invite people individually, and create a group chat with those who confirmed. Nothing is more demoralising than 24 hours of people saying they won’t come, in the group chat, right before the event. My flake rate is close to zero, mostly because people personally told me they’ll join. It doesn’t hurt to get the group chat hyped up on the day of the event. The activity is enough to get people excited. I als…

I miss the days when Facebook events worked well for getting people to attend a party. Now, nobody is on Facebook so those event invitations get missed and you need to hustle much harder with individual chat messages to get people to attend.

In my social circles Partiful feels like it's becoming a good replacement for the golden era of Facebook Events. At first you had to invite people manually by sending them a Partiful link, but now they have their own internal invite system where you can invite your "mutuals" (people you've partied with) directly on the platform. It's become the clear standard for house parties in my sphere. Not quite as good as Facebook events used to be though.

Re: Facts about throwing good parties

#94

Post by titanomachy »

Animats wrote: post #78

(This is going to upset some people.) A successful escort who is into statistical data analysis and market research talks about the details of organizing an orgy.[1] Aella's thing is to ask questions that lead to "what do women really want", and go from there to design events. She has about 800,000 raw survey responses, so there's enough data to look for patterns. The answers will upset some people. The conventional…

I think this talk was interesting. You may be getting downvoted since people don’t want to watch the whole video to get the “answer” you alluded to, so I’ll summarize briefly:

Aella notes that orgies have recently been very focused on maximizing consent and safety, and as a result people have very little actual sex at the parties and are dissatisfied. She notes that the kind of women who attend orgies are disproportionately into submissive power dynamics and somewhat rough sex, so she tried creating a type of orgy where blanket consent is given up-front, men outnumber women, and everyone is vetted for attractiveness (and presumably other traits, which she does not specify). This apparently leads to parties where the men aggressively initiate sex with many women, and everyone is very satisfied with the outcome. The parties have strict rules, such as absolutely and immediately respecting the safe word.

Re: Facts about throwing good parties

#95

Post by bsenftner »

adriand wrote: post #19
rossdavidh wrote: post #2

"21) The biggest problem at many parties is an endless escalation of volume. If you know how to fix this, let me know." Only way I know is to have a porch, garage, or other connected-but-not-the-same-space open for people to spill into.

On the flip side, is there such a thing as a good, quiet party? Only if it's very small.

I attended "The Whisper Club" once in NYC, where the music performance was female performers whispering to soft muted horns and piano, and anyone who spoke in a normal or louder tones was asked to leave. Instead of clapping to the music, people snapped their fingers. It was kind of subversively wonderful.

Re: Facts about throwing good parties

#96

Post by dyauspitr »

dlisboa wrote: post #14

I feel like this is really an American culture thing where parties or dinner parties are mostly the responsibility of the host. In movies or TV there’s even a common theme of guests judging the host’s hosting abilities. In Brazil you throw a party to people you like and they all have a hand in helping you, sharing the load. Everyone will be responsible for some part of it, all of it is organized informally, there are…

Yeah as a naturalized immigrant, Americans are judgy. Everything will be judged relative to something similar. In Asia a party is a party. Food and drink are usually accounted for and the rest just happens. No one really thinks of “rating” it the next day. The whole thing is low pressure and parties are frequent and plentiful because of it.

Re: Facts about throwing good parties

#97

Post by dyauspitr »

nicbou wrote: post #15

I prefer to invite people individually, and create a group chat with those who confirmed. Nothing is more demoralising than 24 hours of people saying they won’t come, in the group chat, right before the event. My flake rate is close to zero, mostly because people personally told me they’ll join. It doesn’t hurt to get the group chat hyped up on the day of the event. The activity is enough to get people excited. I als…

This is ridiculous. When I throw parties I tell a couple of my friends and tell them to tell others and people just show up. Americans are living in some sort of parallel dimension.

Re: Facts about throwing good parties

#98

Post by jll29 »

I've (co-)organized parties of varying sizes (N=2..50+) and I would say volume hasn't been the top problem, ever.

- As hosts, the main problems are finding a suitable date to hold the party, chasing attendance confirmations and getting people to dance (esp. once they're over 30).

- As attendees, the main problem besides whether on should go or not (which is often made dependent on who else is going) is figuring out what kind of "party" exactly it is (formal/informal, dance party/potluck, enough food?). The definition of "party" is very broad, even leaving aside cross-cultural norms, ranging from "let's sit around the table and play board games" to "let's outdo Hangover I/II/III [except for the giraffe]".

Re: Facts about throwing good parties

#99

Post by varenc »

fragmede wrote: post #50

I'll probably get uninvited from the party for pointing this out, but Partiful is free for users because they are datamining the shit out of us. If Palantir gives any here the creeps, just fyi, Partiful was founded by several former Palantir employees, including CEO Shreya Murthy and CTO Joy Tao.

Besides the founders being ex-Palantir (left in 2018), is there much evidence for this? Their platform doesn't feel particularly data hungry to me at all.

Re: Facts about throwing good parties

#100

Post by aerostable_slug »

fragmede wrote: post #46
rossdavidh wrote: post #2

"21) The biggest problem at many parties is an endless escalation of volume. If you know how to fix this, let me know." Only way I know is to have a porch, garage, or other connected-but-not-the-same-space open for people to spill into.

db meters are available for purchase, which helps with the problem of not being sure how loud is loud while in an altered state of consciousness and need something to compare the volume to.

Apple watches have them as well.
Post reply on HN