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Becoming the person who does the thing

fredrivett.com

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Re: Becoming the person who does the thing

#91

Post by Waterluvian »

kmoser wrote: post #81
Waterluvian wrote: post #10

> Like all childish thinking, it contained some truth. Physical fitness is less important than spiritual, emotional, and mental fitness. One kind of growth I love to see is when someone becomes less confident in their opinions over time. A lot of people “grow up” by just being super confident and stubborn about new ideas.

Apparently the author is still of the mind that physical fitness takes a back seat to the other types of fitness. Anyone who has suffered from an extensive debilitating injury or illness quickly learns that it drags you down spiritually, emotionally, and mentally. Even minor injuries or illnesses, when sustained over time, can have a profound effect on your mental health. For that reason, I would argue that physical…

I was thinking about this on and off this morning. My first thought was that the body is the base foundation for all of those things. None of them matter or can be in meaningfully good shape if the body is in poor condition. Then I started thinking it may just be an interrelationship where they all depend on each other. Then I thought more about what exactly is it that we're trying to evaluate? Is it quality of life? Because that really begins convincing me that there really is no priority list here and they are all deeply dependent on each other. Ever been depressed and tried to exercise? Ever been in terrible health and tried to be happy?

Re: Becoming the person who does the thing

#92

Post by bryanlarsen »

huhkerrf wrote: post #20

I found the article anodyne enough, so this is not a knock on it, but something I've noticed as I've gotten older that I find a bit amusing and curious. What is it that makes people in tech in their late 20s and 30s write about life lessons like an old sage? I don't notice 32 year old farmers or roughnecks doing this.

> I don't notice 32 year old farmers or roughnecks doing this.

Hang out in a bar with 32 year old farmers or roughnecks as a teenager and you'll hear lots of similar shallow anodyne life wisdom.

Re: Becoming the person who does the thing

#93

Post by colechristensen »

flippyhead wrote: post #45

The trick to getting results in the gym, and establishing a sustainable practice (which is key in both exercise and diet), is to just go regularly but allow yourself to leave at any point. Say you decide four days a week is your long-term goal. On that first day, if you want, leave after 5m. But return the next day. Keep doing this and eventually, I promise, you'll average the 45m you need four days a week forever. I…

Going to the gym has intense diminishing returns but the benefit is that you can get great results with only a tiny commitment. Going from nothing to fifteen minutes twice a week makes a huge difference and is easy to commit to (lifting heavy things and or intense aerobic exercise).

Re: Becoming the person who does the thing

#94

Post by cogogo »

Something kind of funny to me about quoting the Fault of Our Stars about love when the original source of that expression is The Sun Also Rises regarding bankruptcy.

“How did you go bankrupt? Two ways. Gradually, then suddenly.”

Re: Becoming the person who does the thing

#95

Post by tolerance »

meken wrote: post #78

There are paradoxes and chicken-and-the-egg problems throughout the article: > For me, something shifted in my late twenties. Growing up I guess you could call it. I don’t remember the exact straw that broke the camel’s back, but a desire for change grew. > If you identity as a failure, incapable of achievement, unfit, unlovable, destined to play a bit-part role in your own story, then by heck no matter how much will…

People oscillate between rational and irrational motives. I reckon that motivation springs from either depending on the circumstance and the temperament of the individual. Such is the peculiar and special nature of man.

I think we go out of our way to rationalize decisions that emanate beyond reason because the truth is a lot more stark, and usually we only try to rationalize irrational choices when they backfire and we face criticism for them.

Allahu A’alam.

Re: Becoming the person who does the thing

#96

Post by colechristensen »

blueflow wrote: post #5
torben-friis wrote: post #2

I had a similar experience as a teen, where somehow I had never considered a sport or the gym because “that was not what people like me did, I was the nerdy one”. I didn’t really ever think that explicitly, or say it aloud, it was just an obvious implication on my mind. Turns out the only thing separating me from someone who is good at sports, or being buff, was doing it frequently and not half assed. Applies to most…

"that was not what people like me do" Is this kind of thinking normal? Kinda like looking into the world and going like "i must be like that specific thing over there"?

We all have a lot of subconscious biases that end up a lot like this but rarely or never voiced. "I'm not the kind of person that goes dancing" "I drink a soda with every meal" "these are the only kinds of clothes that I wear" and you have a built up set of things you do and don't do and without reflection.

Then you can think about it and feel silly "why did I never do this before" or "why do I always do this". It's a good exercise to go looking for your unconscious biases and assumptions about yourself – eliminating these identifying behaviors can really be a benefit.

Re: Becoming the person who does the thing

#97

Post by __alexander »

huhkerrf wrote: post #20

I found the article anodyne enough, so this is not a knock on it, but something I've noticed as I've gotten older that I find a bit amusing and curious. What is it that makes people in tech in their late 20s and 30s write about life lessons like an old sage? I don't notice 32 year old farmers or roughnecks doing this.

There was an article or comment a couple of years back discussing how people are now writing grandiose blog posts like they are describing how and why they broke up Pink Floyd. I wish I could find the original source because I still think about it.

Re: Becoming the person who does the thing

#98

Post by glitchc »

thevillagechief wrote: post #67
GuB-42 wrote: post #51

Earlier quoted context omitted.

That's why I don't really get the gym. What is enjoyable in a gym? All activities you do there feel so useless and mindless. Running on a threadmill, lifting weights to put them back down, etc... For the journey/destination analogy, the destination is all that matters here, and you are taking the highway, because it is efficient. There are may other activities that will get you fit and are what I think are way less b…

The gym, once you get into it, can be incredibly addicting. I'm not as consistent as I should be, but there have been times I've spent 3 hours at a time. I go through similar cycles with running as well. There's just an incredible high to these activities.

It's worth noting that a great deal of the high depends on biology. Some human beings produce high quantities of endorphins under muscular strain. Others don't. Not everyone gets the same high, and some people may not get high at all. It's the same from eating peppers, for example. For those that don't get the high, the gym can feel like a slog.

Re: Becoming the person who does the thing

#99

Post by netbioserror »

conductr wrote: post #34
huhkerrf wrote: post #20

I found the article anodyne enough, so this is not a knock on it, but something I've noticed as I've gotten older that I find a bit amusing and curious. What is it that makes people in tech in their late 20s and 30s write about life lessons like an old sage? I don't notice 32 year old farmers or roughnecks doing this.

As a older than this person, I feel like it’s around the time most people have that first large step of retrospectiveness where they see their current self has deviated from their self they thought they were previously. They realize they have autonomy to craft themselves. They realize there are more important aspects to life than their grades/sports/hobby or whatever things they built their identity around for the fi…

Precisely this. For all the (woefully young) science about brain development and maturity, it doesn't seem to stop for quite a while, and my late 20's and early 30's have been the most interesting time of reflection and self-appraisement I've had.

It's becoming clear to me that what we call a "mid-life crisis" is probably just Jung's self-actualization, where a person becomes aware they've been wearing a mask to some degree until then. It seems most people find a way to drop it, stop doing what they don't want, and start doing what they do want. Hence the development of grumpiness, divorces, moving far afield, buying sports cars, becoming ascetics, whatever it is that reflects a truer identity than their young selves that satisfied expectations and chased approval.

I've found that the people I know who naturally reject molds and masks while young and pursue what they want early on don't seem to go through this.

Re: Becoming the person who does the thing

#100

Post by jamestimmins »

conductr wrote: post #34
huhkerrf wrote: post #20

I found the article anodyne enough, so this is not a knock on it, but something I've noticed as I've gotten older that I find a bit amusing and curious. What is it that makes people in tech in their late 20s and 30s write about life lessons like an old sage? I don't notice 32 year old farmers or roughnecks doing this.

As a older than this person, I feel like it’s around the time most people have that first large step of retrospectiveness where they see their current self has deviated from their self they thought they were previously. They realize they have autonomy to craft themselves. They realize there are more important aspects to life than their grades/sports/hobby or whatever things they built their identity around for the fi…

I always half-joke that I gave up on my hopes of being a child prodigy when I turned 30.

That was a major milestone not just for realizing that there was no future "grown up" version of me, but also seeing how much time had passed and how little was left. So I accepted that who I am is who I'm going to be, for the most part, and I might as well make the best of it. That opened up a lot of doors for personal interest that I hadn't even noticed previously.

So predictably I started woodworking.

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