The problem with advice is it’s what worked once for one person, filtered through their unreliable memory then retold in a way that favors them and ignores all the detours.
Actually there are several problems with advice!
How to stop feeling lost in tech: the wafflehouse method
91–100 of 113 posts
Re: How to stop feeling lost in tech: the wafflehouse method
#92This may work for the author, and for other people, but I would never give this advice. It supposes you are able to articulate where you want to be in five years, and have the ability to break that down into actionable tasks. Most people just want to have a stable job, apartment/house, and good relationship. Any further breakdown is often guessing, unrealistic, or outright fantasy. My advice to people in this situati…
not to cast any shade on the article, which clearly people are liking, but I found it so unrelatable that I abandoned it halfway
Re: How to stop feeling lost in tech: the wafflehouse method
#93Earlier quoted context omitted.
I concur. The opposite of goal setting is not "doing nothing". And with respect, watching TV, playing games, etc is doing nothing. Rather you should be _doing_ something, something interesting to you. Create, not Consume. SO questions is a good start. Meaningful answers take time. You might set a goal of 10 questions a day. Some amount that represents meaningful time. From there, maybe you notice the kinds of questio…
I find my life is best when I balance my creation and consumption. Too much of either leaves me not feeling the best.
I find my life is best when I make time to neither create nor consume, but just to do.
Play board games, go on a walk, play on the floor with my kid, play a sport.
"Doing" doesn't have to be creative or productive!
Re: How to stop feeling lost in tech: the wafflehouse method
#94This is the opposite of what helped me to stop feeling lost in life. I grew up very goal oriented and executed towards those goals with focus and determination. Around when I turned 40 I realized I wasn't all that happy and I'd spent my entire life so far living for rewards that would come in the future. The problem is that those rewards didn't give sustaining satisfaction. They pass remarkably quickly when you get t…
All this middle age crisis stems from having fewer children and even fewer grandchildren. How to find meaning as childless person: help your relatives (Gen Z and Alpha are in crisis right now), help your community, donate blood, help disabled people, volunteer as firefighter. But above all, focus on doing it to people who are themselves pro-social. Avoid sociopaths and alert people being abused. Just telling them som…
Isn't the stereotypical middle age crisis the suburban office worker husband with two kids who buys a sports car to feel young and free?
Re: How to stop feeling lost in tech: the wafflehouse method
#95Earlier quoted context omitted.
All this middle age crisis stems from having fewer children and even fewer grandchildren. How to find meaning as childless person: help your relatives (Gen Z and Alpha are in crisis right now), help your community, donate blood, help disabled people, volunteer as firefighter. But above all, focus on doing it to people who are themselves pro-social. Avoid sociopaths and alert people being abused. Just telling them som…
How do I find meaning as a child-ful person?
If you have time after work and family, those things apply just the same, of course.
Re: How to stop feeling lost in tech: the wafflehouse method
#96In my experience, the best case scenario for students (or anyone) who do these elaborate planning rituals is that it serves as a catharsis that moves their anxieties from their brain to some paper. Relieved, they loosen up and get back to making progress while forgetting about their detailed 5-year plan The worst case is when this ritual produces a rigid set of unrealistic goals that the person almost immediately fai…
Having supervised high-achieving students in undergrad research settings, I just tell them to chill out, be a whole person with friends and hobbies, and lots of things will just fall into place. The fact that they're where they are (i.e., fancy university, research group, yadda yadda) shows they're the kind of person to take initiative. The fact that they worry shows that they care. They're already way ahead. The rea…
I think the key word here is undergrad research setting. Having an advisor or a department or DGS or Dean breathing down your neck and tumbleweeds in your bank account is an entirely different can of worms.
Re: How to stop feeling lost in tech: the wafflehouse method
#97I wrote a toy program once, in which an agent should navigate on its own through a 2D platformer environment. Jump over obstacles/holes, climb stairs, etc. The idea was that the agent would first receive a goal like "go to tile (15, 28)", then use Dijkstra's algorithm to create a "movement plan" - like "move 2 tiles to the right, trigger a jump, move 3 tiles to the left while in the air", etc - and then execute that…
In optimal control I believe they call these "shooting methods"
Re: How to stop feeling lost in tech: the wafflehouse method
#98Re: How to stop feeling lost in tech: the wafflehouse method
#99This is the opposite of what helped me to stop feeling lost in life. I grew up very goal oriented and executed towards those goals with focus and determination. Around when I turned 40 I realized I wasn't all that happy and I'd spent my entire life so far living for rewards that would come in the future. The problem is that those rewards didn't give sustaining satisfaction. They pass remarkably quickly when you get t…
My experience would be the opposite. I'm not goal oriented > Instead I now just trust my instincts and follow what seems interesting or meaningful to me right now for me that means watching anime, playing video games, reading HN and social media, and maybe writing small programs like solving S.O. questions, And now I look back, have accomplished nothing of significance, and have huge regrets. Regrets that I didn't se…
Functionally, not completing goals with a long outset is the same as not setting goals. You were banking on completing those goals and not having them just be a myriad of things you've done (which, as you've said, you've already done).
Re: How to stop feeling lost in tech: the wafflehouse method
#100Earlier quoted context omitted.
If you have time after work and family, those things apply just the same, of course.
The children tend to make it so that I don't.
They will grow.
At one point in my life I was very busy with uni and full-time job. I listened to audiobooks, lessons, or just read my notes during commutes. And I was lucky to be allowed to study in my work breaks (away from the "watercooler gang"). I made time. I was very picky with who I spent time with and made sure the human interaction was high quality. Those were some of my most productive years for my side/fun projects. And I was never bored.
Life is not short. We waste most of it in meaningless time sinks. (BTW, thank you for making me remember this)