> When was the last time you were annoyed that someone reached out to check in? ... Never
How dare he invalidate my experience like that xD
The electric fence stopped working years ago
91–100 of 151 posts
Re: The electric fence stopped working years ago
#92This is right. People ask my how on earth I know what every one of my high school classmates is up to, when we were the last class of the millennium. Along with a number of old teachers and other randoms from years ago. I just stopped having a filter. When I think of someone, I just fire off a message. The message doesn't have any warnings on it like "oh I know it's been a while" or "you might not remember me". I wri…
Did you like you classmates. What if you didnt. One of the great freedoms is you can pick your friends.
Re: The electric fence stopped working years ago
#93This is right. People ask my how on earth I know what every one of my high school classmates is up to, when we were the last class of the millennium. Along with a number of old teachers and other randoms from years ago. I just stopped having a filter. When I think of someone, I just fire off a message. The message doesn't have any warnings on it like "oh I know it's been a while" or "you might not remember me". I wri…
I'd be deeply annoyed if someone I haven't seen or talked to in years did that to me.
Like dude... if I was important to me you'd have talked to me long ago. I am obviously not - that's totally fine. Then at least start with some minor small talk pleasantries before you get to what you actually want.
Re: The electric fence stopped working years ago
#94This is right. People ask my how on earth I know what every one of my high school classmates is up to, when we were the last class of the millennium. Along with a number of old teachers and other randoms from years ago. I just stopped having a filter. When I think of someone, I just fire off a message. The message doesn't have any warnings on it like "oh I know it's been a while" or "you might not remember me". I wri…
Did you like you classmates. What if you didnt. One of the great freedoms is you can pick your friends.
Then you do not go to talk to them. You do not have to. But you can, if you want.
Re: The electric fence stopped working years ago
#95For most of us, certainly including me, a lot of those electric fences are alive and well. They are powered by thoughts associated with pain. Anything that triggers those thoughts, triggers that pain. We are not even aware of how our thinking has been constrained. We just avoid the possibility of triggering the thought. A person constrained by such a fence is very obvious from the outside. We see the irrational ratio…
And that is exactly how it is in that dog's brain. In his mind, the electric fence is alive and well.
That is the whole point of the article.
Re: The electric fence stopped working years ago
#96The article asks when the reader was annoyed by someone checking in and it answers, “never.” Not so for me, I truly dislike people checking in on me, including my family members. It makes me uncomfortable. I’m an introvert, and my condition is my own business. Now and then is okay but not frequently. I also don’t answer calls on my birthday. It’s MY birthday after all, it’s a day for just me.
Re: The electric fence stopped working years ago
#97This is right. People ask my how on earth I know what every one of my high school classmates is up to, when we were the last class of the millennium. Along with a number of old teachers and other randoms from years ago. I just stopped having a filter. When I think of someone, I just fire off a message. The message doesn't have any warnings on it like "oh I know it's been a while" or "you might not remember me". I wri…
I've got some sort of facial blindness. It's hard to tell exactly how it works because I've got a bunch of unconscious coping mechanisms for identifying people. One of the times I got it comically wrong was in college where I made a friend for a semester because I thought he was someone I already knew. So I can absolutely believe that attitude and approach makes a huge difference because I've been in at least one sce…
My coping mechanism for interacting with people who approach me is: 1. Act friendly and open when they start talking to me; 2. centre the questions on them, hoping that they reveal information that might clue me in on who they are. It's only in recent years that I've learned step 3: if I haven't recognised them in the first 10-20 seconds, mention that I'm face blind (usually as an apology) and ask them who they are. Most times that is enough to stop the encounter turning sour.
My coping mechanism for approaching a person I think I might know (usually in spaces where I wouldn't expect to encounter them) is: don't. At least not immediately. Rather, watch and observe (if possible) to see if the voice/gestures/body positions/etc firm up enough to bring the certainty levels up and the risk levels down.
I think I'd make a good spy, if only I didn't suffer from this face blindness nonsense.
Re: The electric fence stopped working years ago
#98The article asks when the reader was annoyed by someone checking in and it answers, “never.” Not so for me, I truly dislike people checking in on me, including my family members. It makes me uncomfortable. I’m an introvert, and my condition is my own business. Now and then is okay but not frequently. I also don’t answer calls on my birthday. It’s MY birthday after all, it’s a day for just me.
Do you not think that maybe those people care about you and would like to know how you are? I appreciate that you have your boundaries, but it doesn't sound like you're considering their point of view. Or maybe you are but it isn't conveyed in the post well.
Re: The electric fence stopped working years ago
#99Surely the leading anecdote is contrived? Am I too cynical?
Yeah, I stopped reading there, because I see that kind of contrived pablum on LinkedIn constantly. Heart-warming folksy anecdote ... business lesson etc. That, the *bold* and the cartoon are flags.
I have learned to stop paying attention to "content" based on those cues, much like with ad breaks on TV or youtube. It's mostly not even conscious, I just skip over it.
Re: The electric fence stopped working years ago
#100[deleted]