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Stop postponing things by embracing the mess

deprocrastination.co

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Re: Stop postponing things by embracing the mess

#91

Post by alpaca128 »

helboi4 wrote: post #58
prometheus76 wrote: post #17

Earlier quoted context omitted.

It's the classic situation of someone without ADHD telling us "just focus!" or "you just need to write things down!" or "you're just lazy". I have ADHD, and I also do not have a sense of smell (lost it in a TBI when I was a teenager). I tell people, "you take for granted what it's like to have a sense of smell. It affects every moment of your day, catching your interest and directing your attention all the time. Imag…

I just had my new therapist yesterday telling me "doesn't it feel good to be consistent and achieve things" and I'm like yeah no shit. "so you need to be consistent with something" yeah that's my problem dawg. "what's the feeling you get when you want to quit?" it just happens that my life falls apart or I get really into sth else. does nobody else just lose track of all the bricks required to do things sometimes? "i…

It sounds like your therapist is in the wrong profession.

I've interacted with four different ones so far, and while the value I got out of them varied greatly I think none of them would ever say BS like that.

> I sure do hope I actually have ADHD

I hope whoever tests you is not like the ADHD "specialist" I had to deal with. Knowingly swapped symptoms and cause in the final report for whatever reason, and made terrible jokes that indicated he either doesn't know the basics I could read on Wikipedia or just already made up his mind beforehand. Absolutely fantastic when it comes to disorders subtle enough that you even question yourself sometimes.

Re: Stop postponing things by embracing the mess

#92

Post by Apocryphon »

aaron695 wrote: post #6

This site is bizarre. If you look at their stuff on addiction, they have no grounding in current theory. And by current theory, that's from science to religious ideas like prayer, nothing they talk about matches anything in the world from hard numbers to mysticism. They also have no explanation why they break with all the current theories or where their theories come from. By now they are a HN institution, but I'd be…

What do they say about addiction? They've got so many articles on it.

Re: Stop postponing things by embracing the mess

#93

Post by alpaca128 »

helboi4 wrote: post #89
SleepilyLimping wrote: post #69

Earlier quoted context omitted.

It's always uncomfortable with a new therapist because they lack the context to know what you're going through, for how long, and the factors that are affecting it. I've seen mine for over a decade at this point, and when I talk to people about their potential growing pains when they're seeking out help, a lot of it is a reminder that you have to create that context/history with them over time. It seems like yours is…

Yeah, most therapists have pissed me off because its infuriating having to teach a so called expert how to understand you at a premium price. I find it ludicrous that they'd be able to tell me anything about myself that I don't know or that my friends couldn't point out to me, because I'm not exactly someone who struggles to analyse myself. I'm not unfamiliar with journalling, I have read tons of stuf about psycholog…

> I can't justify paying to see how it goes

YMMV but the best therapist I've met so far already felt more understanding and productive in the first hour than others in months, I think if it's going nowhere after a couple sessions that might not change any time soon.

Re: Stop postponing things by embracing the mess

#94

Post by fragmede »

charliebwrites wrote: post #34
masto wrote: post #12

The oversimplification and promises that if you just buy their thing you'll have a distraction free life in 14 days really irks me. I struggled with this stuff for over 40 years. Only last year, after a disastrous crash, did I start learning about ADHD, which finally gave me the language and tools and access to support that I needed to start making a meaningful difference. Without the understanding that diagnosis gav…

What language and tools did you learn that helped you finally be able to cope? This is something I also struggle with and as I get older it feels like I’m losing opportunities to do the things I want to do to ADHD

Dr. Russell Barkley is a good resource https://youtube.com/playlist?list=PLKF2Eq0eYbbrNLoJjFpWG_ULG...

Jessica McCabe of How to ADHD is another one. https://youtu.be/sErtHttYOL4?si=ZZ2bGQ5HgbCIxSg8

Re: Stop postponing things by embracing the mess

#95

Post by CuriousCosmic »

moritzwarhier wrote: post #37
codetrotter wrote: post #14

https://news.ycombinator.com/from?site=deprocrastination.co Interesting that pretty much all submissions on the first page of results from this domain is both by the same user and broadly seems to be about the same overarching theme of procrastination. Is OP the author of the site? (OP also posts links to other sites, so not saying OP is doing anything wrong though.)

Since 7 of the last 30 submissions by OP are that site and the pattern continues, I find it absolutely understandable and good-faith to become suspicious. Other users have been accusing the same https://news.ycombinator.com/item?id=28894120 I don't want to participate in a witch hunt here, but HN needs to stay vigilant against spam and self-promotion that exceeds the reasonable intersection with honestly showing pers…

I think given the OP is a regular poster and they often post content from the same domains multiple times (each with a different article, with decent amounts of time between posts, i.e. ~1/wk), they probably just follow the content on these sites and "cross post" it to HN whenever they find something particularly interesting to them.

I can say personally (while I don't post on HN), when I share content in a community, it's things I find interesting, which often I see from the projects/blogs I subscribe to/follow.

So odds are OP is just someone with ADHD who finds this content useful to themself and people like them so they share new content from the site when they see it.

Re: Stop postponing things by embracing the mess

#96

Post by bru3s »

thoughtFrame wrote: post #30
bru3s wrote: post #3

Earlier quoted context omitted.

I agree wholeheartedly. I've been stuck in a rut of procrastination for the last several years, during which I hardly ever started side projects or experiments due to tired old excuses such as "I simply don't have enough time", "This would at least need x hours per day", etc. When I eventually tried to start something, it would inevitably be delayed by other daily things to carry out (work, family, other life related…

For both of your cases, the "25 to 30 minutes task" trick won't work at all. For a case that persists for years, what I've learned is that it's either real ADHD, or some emotional problem around the topic. For me, it was 100% an emotional problem, though I do have a bit of a scattered mind, but I can focus it, whereas I've seen people with serious ADHD who can't do it at all and need meds (among other things). For ex…

> For both of your cases, the "25 to 30 minutes task" trick won't work at all. For a case that persists for years, what I've learned is that it's either real ADHD, or some emotional problem around the topic. For me, it was 100% an emotional problem, though I do have a bit of a scattered mind, but I can focus it, whereas I've seen people with serious ADHD who can't do it at all and need meds (among other things).

I'm not so sure about that. Mind you, I had already been thinking that putting some effort in limited amount of time instead of doing nothing at all before reading the article, so if anything the latter gave me some more confidence that it's actually a solution that at least worked for someone

> But the latter type (the ones who're stuck in the cycle) need to let something go rather than accumulate new things (in this case, tips and tricks about Getting Things Done). On that front, I thing you're perfectly right.

> There's the DIY path (hard, involves journaling, introspection, noticing and categorizing your emotions, reading Jung, reading ancient texts like the Bhagavad Gita) and the psychologist path (you need to find a good paychologist who doesn't just ask "and what do you feel about it?" over and over but actually takes an active role in your situation and your circumstances)

Admittedly I don't feel 100% sure that what you just wrote doesn't apply to me, so would you mind expanding a bit more on the details? Why would procrastination in a case like mine be linked to emotional issue? Actually even better, was it that for you? In which way did this link exist, and how did you find out? How did you managed to solve it, if you solved it at all?

Thanks for replying

Re: Stop postponing things by embracing the mess

#97

Post by baapercollege »

rapnie wrote: post #48
lupire wrote: post #13

I'm not comfortable taking advice on "deprocrastination" from someone who made procrastination their career (or side gig?), except for the advice "if you find yourself procrastinating, quit your job and make what you'd rather do your job". But that rarely pays the bills .

There's also the "Price goes up in" and a counter (4 hrs from now). So don't procrastinate, buy now! Geez.

You posted 4 hours back. Timer for me still shows 4 hours ;) no worries, feel free to procrastinate on the purchase

Re: Stop postponing things by embracing the mess

#98

Post by snikeris »

xyzelement wrote: post #26

My first couple of weeks at Bridgewater I was diagnosed with a fear of failure - deep reluctance to set off on a journey unless I could see the entire path through to the other side. I thought that was a good way to be actually (keeps you safe from doomed endeavors) but obviously keeps you from progressing on things where the only way to figure out the path is to walk it. In retrospect it’s a form of anxiety. If you…

Was this diagnosis from your employer or colleagues?

Re: Stop postponing things by embracing the mess

#99

Post by Modified3019 »

darkwater wrote: post #22
prometheus76 wrote: post #17

Earlier quoted context omitted.

It's the classic situation of someone without ADHD telling us "just focus!" or "you just need to write things down!" or "you're just lazy". I have ADHD, and I also do not have a sense of smell (lost it in a TBI when I was a teenager). I tell people, "you take for granted what it's like to have a sense of smell. It affects every moment of your day, catching your interest and directing your attention all the time. Imag…

I'm not a medical expert or anything but I guess there is a good chunk of population who just procrastinates or can struggle with focus without having ADHD? Or is there always a 1:1 relationship?

ADHD is definitely a major cause, but another big one which is much more complex to talk about is “avoidant” type behaviors that are a result of trauma/neglect/abuse early in life.

There is correlation that occurs among diagnoses of ADHD, Autism, CPTSD, and other “mental issues”, such that by the time one becomes noticeable as having pathological effect, then it’s likely to be able to identify at least a few more issues acting in a comorbid manner.

Re: Stop postponing things by embracing the mess

#100

Post by matteason »

criddell wrote: post #50
dartos wrote: post #25

Earlier quoted context omitted.

It may be a little weird, but the from us music from brain.fm really helps me. I’ve measured the work I get done over sprints where I listen to brain.fm and where I don’t, and I usually get 2-3 more cards done of weeks that I do. Not a scientific measurement, but it is what it is.

I'm intrigued, but brain.fm requires a credit card for a free trial. Bummer. Edit: I just checked my email and (in the spam folder) was an email from them with a link that works for 3 days. I'm trying it now.

You might enjoy the binaural beats and ambient radio on https://ambiph.one as a free alternative (disclosure: it's my site). Not as science-y as brain.fm but it helps me a lot with focus
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