Hacker News Board Hacker News, browsed like a classic message board
Live data from Hacker News

The One Thing I Can’t Stand About Teaching English in Japan (2019)

geekstravelinjapan.wordpress.com

Post reply on HN
Print view View original

91–100 of 101 posts

Re: The One Thing I Can’t Stand About Teaching English in Japan (2019)

#91

Post by thegrimmest »

t-3 wrote: post #78
akvadrako wrote: post #70

Earlier quoted context omitted.

They don't owe an explanation, but if two people have an ongoing relationship the one ending it should say "it's over" or "bye", not just leave the other hanging. It's just a basic level of respect to not waste others time with wondering if it's over or not.

People should also be expected to be able to read the context and not need explicit confirmation or denial. It's rude and pushy to chase people and try to pressure them into saying yes and force them into saying no.

I can't help but disagree. In order to avoid miscommunication, people should be as accurate and clear in their communication as possible. It's not rude or pushy to expect clear and plain language, especially when dealing across cultural and linguistic barriers. Expecting people to read a context that varies widely between and even within a culture is unreasonable.

Re: The One Thing I Can’t Stand About Teaching English in Japan (2019)

#93

Post by rurban »

adastra22 wrote: post #31
codethief wrote: post #6

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Came here to ask the same thing. If so, how do people quit their jobs then, or do break-ups? They just never do or do they just disappear over night?

You don't quit jobs in Japan (traditionally, at least).

This changed for the better finally in the 90ies

Re: The One Thing I Can’t Stand About Teaching English in Japan (2019)

#94

Post by joshspankit »

afterburner wrote: post #90
paddw wrote: post #47

Earlier quoted context omitted.

I think it's less there is a misunderstanding, and more the author is simply expressing their frustration with this aspect of Japanese culture.

The misunderstanding is that she thinks the displays of politeness are evidence the people care about her in a deep and long lasting way. But they don't, they're simply being polite, and when they no longer want her services they don't want to interact any more.

You’re making an assumption here.

You’re assuming that in the experiences she had with those students, it was their politeness that she interpreted as friendship. It’s also possible that she can discern between politeness and friendship and was seeing genuine friendship.

Re: The One Thing I Can’t Stand About Teaching English in Japan (2019)

#95

Post by afterburner »

joshspankit wrote: post #94
afterburner wrote: post #90

Earlier quoted context omitted.

The misunderstanding is that she thinks the displays of politeness are evidence the people care about her in a deep and long lasting way. But they don't, they're simply being polite, and when they no longer want her services they don't want to interact any more.

You’re making an assumption here. You’re assuming that in the experiences she had with those students, it was their politeness that she interpreted as friendship. It’s also possible that she can discern between politeness and friendship and was seeing genuine friendship.

Surely it can't have been genuine if people are dismissing her in this way? Texting "I'm sick not this time" and then no more communication ever?

Re: The One Thing I Can’t Stand About Teaching English in Japan (2019)

#96

Post by joshspankit »

afterburner wrote: post #95
joshspankit wrote: post #94

Earlier quoted context omitted.

You’re making an assumption here. You’re assuming that in the experiences she had with those students, it was their politeness that she interpreted as friendship. It’s also possible that she can discern between politeness and friendship and was seeing genuine friendship.

Surely it can't have been genuine if people are dismissing her in this way? Texting "I'm sick not this time" and then no more communication ever?

Your reply is coming across as you doubling down on your assumption.

Re: The One Thing I Can’t Stand About Teaching English in Japan (2019)

#97

Post by afterburner »

joshspankit wrote: post #96
afterburner wrote: post #95

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Surely it can't have been genuine if people are dismissing her in this way? Texting "I'm sick not this time" and then no more communication ever?

Your reply is coming across as you doubling down on your assumption.

It's not my assumption, I'm merely going by the author's empirical observation. No one whose only real connection to you is English lessons that pretends to be sick one day to cancel their lessons forever is a genuine friend, obviously.

Re: The One Thing I Can’t Stand About Teaching English in Japan (2019)

#98

Post by joshspankit »

afterburner wrote: post #95
joshspankit wrote: post #94

Earlier quoted context omitted.

You’re making an assumption here. You’re assuming that in the experiences she had with those students, it was their politeness that she interpreted as friendship. It’s also possible that she can discern between politeness and friendship and was seeing genuine friendship.

Surely it can't have been genuine if people are dismissing her in this way? Texting "I'm sick not this time" and then no more communication ever?

Empirical observation #1: A student said “I’m sick today. I can’t make the lesson. I’ll contact you later,”

Empirical observation #2: That student didn't contact her later including not replying to emails she sent afterwards.

There's also a direct consequence of empirical observation #2: The lessons could not continue.

Assumption #1: The student pretended to be sick. This student could have been actually sick. We have no evidence either way.

Assumption #2: Your definition of "genuine friend" is the same as the teacher's definition and the student's.

Assumption #3: Using the term "obviously" shows that you've assumed that I (or possibly anyone reading this) have the same cultural values and definitions needed to draw the same conclusion that you have.

I know I'm being pedantic and apologies if my tone comes across as condescending. I would normally avoid replying in these situations but when I put myself in your place I appreciate having the other person's perspective even if I don't agree with them because it helps me to clarify my communication in future conversations.

Re: The One Thing I Can’t Stand About Teaching English in Japan (2019)

#99

Post by david38 »

anigbrowl wrote: post #68
Raed667 wrote: post #61

My uncle worked in Japan in the aughts. And he told me how his colleagues will do anything to avoid saying "no". For example he would ask them if they wanted to go to lunch and they would say yes, but still be at their desk working. He asks again after a minute of awkward silence if they're ready to go, and they keep saying "yes one minute" and yet keep working until he gives up and goes away.

People often take 'yes' in conversational Japanese to be an expression of agreement, when a lot of the time it's more of an acknowledgement, as in 'yes, (I heard what you said).'

They should say “ack” instead :)

Re: The One Thing I Can’t Stand About Teaching English in Japan (2019)

#100

Post by joshspankit »

afterburner wrote: post #97
joshspankit wrote: post #96

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Your reply is coming across as you doubling down on your assumption.

It's not my assumption, I'm merely going by the author's empirical observation. No one whose only real connection to you is English lessons that pretends to be sick one day to cancel their lessons forever is a genuine friend, obviously.

I put my reply in the wrong branch. Please refer to https://news.ycombinator.com/item?id=35526382
Post reply on HN