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Tell HN: Sometimes you don't realise how bad something is until you leave

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Re: Tell HN: Sometimes you don't realise how bad something is until you leave

#91

Post by everydayentropy »

myrmidon wrote: post #59
itsoktocry wrote: post #10

Thanks for sharing. > Just doing nothing sounds awesome. It's not. It's crap. Yeah, this is something people don't realize until they're it in. It's not fun. Humans long to be needed. > but I didn't have the courage to jump This is one of those things I personally have trouble wrapping my head around, but I know it happens. Kudos for getting it done.

Sorry for sidetracking, but is "... until they're it in" idiomatic? Because I love the phrase, but I'm not a native speaker, and unable to coax google into clearing this up. Would you use this in written form only or when speaking too? (third opinions are also very welcome!)

This phrase doesn't make sense at all stand alone. I couldn't find the context either.

Safe to say that no, not idiomatic. And if you use this phrase as quoted people will be very confused and have no idea what you're trying to communicate.

Re: Tell HN: Sometimes you don't realise how bad something is until you leave

#92

Post by Oras »

Good luck with your new job. I would say develop mentality of jumping jobs every 2 years. Always keep an eye in the market.

This happy time of starting a new chapter is a honeymoon that can last between 6 to 12 months before it fades away.

Remember, any business would only care about profit, and wouldn’t blink before deciding to let anyone go. Everyone should act the same, do whatever is good for your personally.

Re: Tell HN: Sometimes you don't realise how bad something is until you leave

#93

Post by throwawaymaths »

kiawe_fire wrote: post #51

Thank you for sharing. I can relate. This is my first “real” full time job, and I’ve now been there 10 years with little to show for it, and not for lack of trying. Software engineer for a small company, report directly to the owners. Repeatedly, I pour my heart and soul into a project that I believe in, only for ownership to trash the project for superficial reasons. I’ll do small things and get overly patronizing p…

Before you exit, have you actually told your bosses in no uncertain words what the hell is going on? It sounds like this is a breakdown of effective communication and assumptions about what people want in their career and what they need. If you haven't explicitly aired these specific complaints I think you should at least give them a chance, which for you, could also give yourself the fastest path to build something you could show off, instead of having to start over at a new company where there will be a lot of unknowns. If you have already done that, I'll show myself out.

Re: Tell HN: Sometimes you don't realise how bad something is until you leave

#94

Post by VLM »

sopooneo wrote: post #40
kyleblarson wrote: post #26

Earlier quoted context omitted.

This makes me think of the Silicon Valley scene where the guys are just sitting on the roof "resting and vesting". "Lunch? Arby's on El Camino I'll drive. Nah let's walk it'll take longer."

My question for that situation is: why even show up? Is there some token importance to you coming through the front door every morning where failing to do so will get you fired thus eliminating your stock options?

A remarkable number of jobs are about putting fires out.

Is someone responsible available for that revenue generating, or loss preventing, "thing", that has a high enough uptime to not attract anyone's wrath? OK then.

Re: Tell HN: Sometimes you don't realise how bad something is until you leave

#95

Post by everydayentropy »

ethanbond wrote: post #72
myrmidon wrote: post #59

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Sorry for sidetracking, but is "... until they're it in" idiomatic? Because I love the phrase, but I'm not a native speaker, and unable to coax google into clearing this up. Would you use this in written form only or when speaking too? (third opinions are also very welcome!)

I think this is a typo. “Until they’re in it” is the correct phrasing.

"Until they're in it" totally is a phrase that makes sense and I would say can be idiomatic.

OP if you read my previous comment, then that does not apply to the phrase that ethanbond corrected.

Re: Tell HN: Sometimes you don't realise how bad something is until you leave

#97

Post by Consultant32452 »

kiawe_fire wrote: post #51

Thank you for sharing. I can relate. This is my first “real” full time job, and I’ve now been there 10 years with little to show for it, and not for lack of trying. Software engineer for a small company, report directly to the owners. Repeatedly, I pour my heart and soul into a project that I believe in, only for ownership to trash the project for superficial reasons. I’ll do small things and get overly patronizing p…

I'm sorry you feel this way and I hope things get better for you.

You didn't ask for advice, but I'd like to offer some. I recommend, at least once per year, putting your resume out on the market and trying to get at least one interview. Don't consider it as part of a plan to leave your current job, consider it practicing the skill of job seeking.

You will get tons of useful knowledge performing this task. First, you don't feel need/urgency, because you're not planning to leave your current job, so significantly reduced interview anxiety. Second, you get better at the skill of interviewing. Third, you get a better picture of what the potential employers in your area are hiring for (skills, etc.). And last but not least, you really find out what the market is offering to determine if you're being compensated fairly.

What's the worst that could happen? Someone convinces you to take a better job for more money?

Re: Tell HN: Sometimes you don't realise how bad something is until you leave

#98

Post by elptacek »

pontifier wrote: post #77
kerblang wrote: post #37

Yes: It is that easy to end up frog-in-a-pot. I've seen it, and I've done it. I've seen it nearly kill people and cause them to give up on careers. And this underlines what stress is all about: Not working hard, but spinning your wheels and going nowhere. It will make a mess out of you. And yeah, for whatever reasons the tech startup world can be ultra-nasty compared to everywhere else. The level of vindictive, nasty…

I resonate with this so much! I've been bashing my head against red tape for the last 3 years. It's totally demoralizing, and has messed me up pretty good. I know what I'm capable of, and when I compare it to what I've done lately, it just crushes my spirit.

You're gaining a skill, though. For example, in future interviews, you will see obvious red flags that indicate a similar environment. Being able to gracefully navigate bureaucracy and not get burnt out by it is a very underrated skill.

Re: Tell HN: Sometimes you don't realise how bad something is until you leave

#99

Post by etempleton »

Early in my career I worked in an absolutely toxic work environment. I was young and inexperienced and didn’t really know how bad it was. Or if this was normal or not. Additionally, the culture included a lot of fake positivity, so I felt like it was just me even though all my coworkers seemed miserable too. Years later in a world with Glassdoor I can read countless reviews that describe my exact experience and can see the company has terrible rating despite what appears to be leadership writing a bunch of fake 5/5 reviews to try and offset the bad real reviews.

The lesson I learned is that if work feels really bad you should leave asap. No one is going to care for you. The company is only going to even consider fixing it after everyone leaves and work stops getting done. Work isn’t worth your mental or physical health. Sometimes it is just a bad fit, but often it is just a badly run company, division, department, team or whatever.

Re: Tell HN: Sometimes you don't realise how bad something is until you leave

#100

Post by nerdponx »

This is 100% why we need a strong social safety net and/or UBI in the USA. Imagine if you could just quit a job like this, take a few months off, and start looking for a new job, without worrying about becoming bankrupt or homeless? The economy would thrive as individuals were free to move about the labor market, take time off to re-skill periodically, etc.

I was in a bad situation in a job, completely burned out. It was only when I had the opportunity to move in with family that I could quit and get my life back together. If I had the ability to just quit and spend some time collecting myself a year earlier, who knows how much happier and healthier I'd be, and how much sooner I'd have been able to return to productivity?

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