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Thank HN: Five months ago, I was feeling like a loser, now I am opposite

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Re: Thank HN: Five months ago, I was feeling like a loser, now I am opposite

#91

Post by switchbak »

saalweachter wrote: post #74
Nextgrid wrote: post #17

Earlier quoted context omitted.

FAANG is "growth & engagement", not much better though. At least crypto is easy to ignore, while "engagement" relies on it getting in your way and being hard/impossible to ignore.

Eh, a lot of the work at a FAANG, or a GAMMA, or whatever acronym you want to use for "big stable tech companies", is on products that people use and like and the changes you make matter to people. You may be a cog in a machine, but it's an important machine.

I'm actively resisting any future incorporation of Google related anything into my life. Doubly so for Facebook and it's evil tendrils. Twitter/LinkedIn and all that other junk don't even deserve consideration.

Are you so sure that work is really important? Most of that big tech stuff is some variation of a low quality attention sink, or similarly some kind of ad-tech that mines the personal information that gets used in said attention sink. [There is real stuff being worked on, but it's not the core focus]

I've worked a couple jobs that have had tangible real-world impact, and that has counted for a ton: keeping search and rescue helicopters in the air, and improving material science. Besides that, I think back to what I've contributed to, and it doesn't amount to much.

At this stage, I'm fairly selfish about work stuff: I need to learn and to get paid. If my work can have meaningful impact that's awesome, but very elusive.

Re: Thank HN: Five months ago, I was feeling like a loser, now I am opposite

#92

Post by 8ytecoder »

bin_bash wrote: post #84

> I was motivated and was able to solve most easy and medium question in 30 mins. However, that was not good enough for FAANGs. What makes you think it's not good enough? LC is important and today it might be even be essential to land a role, but I think people tend to think of it like an exam when that's not really what we're testing for. The goal is to see how you think, not see if you can simply come up with the r…

All we need is one interviewer who absolutely hates interviewing to ruin the experience for the candidate and probably throw them off balance. It happens in Big Tech much more often than people are willing to admit.

I get where you are coming from when you say "the goal is to see how you think" - I really do and I have definitely believed in that once upon a time. Truth is, it's extremely gut/instinct driven than we realise. So yeah, while you can easily shoot down a candidate who seem to regurgitate what they had already solved, there's just absolutely no way to differentiate it from a candidate having a bad moment (let alone a bad day).

I had a take home exercise recently where I was supposed to identify a performance issue and fix it. I read the code in a hurry after finishing my day job. I knew where the likely issue is coming from but just couldn't locate it. I wrote back as such. The next day the solution came to me. I fixed it and sent it back. I still got hired but that sort of thing can never happen in a leet-code type interview no matter how much we'd like to believe. I have ADHD but even otherwise our brains are finicky.

Re: Thank HN: Five months ago, I was feeling like a loser, now I am opposite

#93

Post by Dylan16807 »

em-bee wrote: post #60
s1artibartfast wrote: post #52

Earlier quoted context omitted.

I'm not interested in making up stories about OP. We don't know how supportive their partner was, how much they shared, and how collaborate they were in the process. We also don't know what alternate realities might have been. I think it is kinda rude to make these assumptions. I'm just saying there are plenty of problems love, support, and teamwork can't fix. Doubly so when you don't know what is wrong in the first…

there are plenty of problems love, support, and teamwork can't fix. hard disagree. there isn't a single problem that can't be fixed in a good relationship. OP would not have needed to come here and ask for help if he had been able to talk with his wife about his problems.

> there isn't a single problem that can't be fixed in a good relationship.

Do you think that contradicts what you quoted? Yes, you can fix those problems. But sometimes it takes more than love, support, and teamwork. Sometimes you need to make other changes.

Re: Thank HN: Five months ago, I was feeling like a loser, now I am opposite

#94

Post by TedDoesntTalk »

lumost wrote: post #28
s1artibartfast wrote: post #25

Earlier quoted context omitted.

It is pretty normal for poor mental health to take a toll on relationships. Sometimes the problem really is that simple. But with that said, it is always a good time to work on yourself and relationships.

Shameless plus one, I’ve been with my wife for 10 years - when we’re both happy as individuals were happy as a couple. Sometimes people just need to do the hard work of finding happiness on their own. Someone else can’t make you feel happy with your career.

> Someone else can’t make you feel happy with your career

Someone else can’t make you happy.

Re: Thank HN: Five months ago, I was feeling like a loser, now I am opposite

#95

Post by em-bee »

s1artibartfast wrote: post #90
em-bee wrote: post #86

Earlier quoted context omitted.

because his wife (and the kids) are going to be affected by the decisions he makes. it doesn't take an expert in career development. a partner is also the person that you should be able to share your innermost feelings with. burnout especially is something partners should talk about. if your partner doesn't understand why you have problems at work then that will cause problems in the relationship. sure once you have…

Why do you continually assume they don't talk with their partner??? You seem stuck on this point

sorry, i read your post to fast, and missed the part where you say that the wife may have suggested to ask here.

the reason i am stuck on this is because from my experience and from what marriage counselors have told me, the majority of relationship problems come from lack of communication.

OP considering divorce doesn't sound like there was any sensible communication between them at the time.

Re: Thank HN: Five months ago, I was feeling like a loser, now I am opposite

#96

Post by TedDoesntTalk »

corrral wrote: post #77
burrows wrote: post #57

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Because I’ve seen “I wish I had worked less.” on a gravestone?

Yeah, there's typically little or nothing. No meaningful sentiments from the deceased. That's part of what the popular funeral poem "The Dash" plays on—everything that mattered in a life, by the time it's nothing but marks on a stone, is expressed in the distinctly inexpressive dash between the birth and death dates. It's rare to actually put anything about the life on there. "Loving father" or something is usually t…

Maybe that’s because the life that died is not under that stone. What’s under that stone isn’t even the husk of that life.

Re: Thank HN: Five months ago, I was feeling like a loser, now I am opposite

#98

Post by uoaei »

TedDoesntTalk wrote: post #94
lumost wrote: post #28

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Shameless plus one, I’ve been with my wife for 10 years - when we’re both happy as individuals were happy as a couple. Sometimes people just need to do the hard work of finding happiness on their own. Someone else can’t make you feel happy with your career.

> Someone else can’t make you feel happy with your career Someone else can’t make you happy.

But they can sure as hell make you unhappy! And it's up to you to keep that in mind.

Re: Thank HN: Five months ago, I was feeling like a loser, now I am opposite

#100

Post by philliphaydon »

georgeburdell wrote: post #53
philliphaydon wrote: post #40

Earlier quoted context omitted.

I would rather get paid less and enjoy my job than wake and not want to get out of bed. But that’s just me. Only live once so want to enjoy life.

Do you have a family to support?

Yes.
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