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I thought I’d have accomplished a lot more today and also before I was 35 (2020)

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Re: I thought I’d have accomplished a lot more today and also before I was 35 (2020)

#91

Post by bigblind »

fxtentacle wrote: post #42
xvector wrote: post #39

Earlier quoted context omitted.

> Fulfilment comes from within, not externally. I am 26 and this is has been the hardest thing for me to come to terms with over the past few years. I thought I'd be happier with a high paying job. So I got a job that pays at the 99.9th percentile for my age. Didn't really make me happier. Then I thought my unhappiness was because of my weight. So I lost 90lbs. Hardest thing I've ever done. But it didn't make me happ…

I believe you mistook the path for the goal, or the future for the now, if you want. Exercise will make you happy, but only while you're doing it. Getting a raise will make you happy, but only for a short time period after that raise. "Having" a relationship won't make you that happy, but the process of building the relationship is highly enjoyable. The key to happiness is to do those things that make you happy while…

> Sacrificing your personal now for a better future is one of those church ideals that always struck me as weird.

I think in certain ways they're valid, but more for creating circumstances that will allow you to do fulfilling things in the future. Taking care of your body now to avoid health issues in the future, saving now so you don't have to worry about money in the future.

I guess a common baseline requirement for happiness is a sense of freedom. A healthy body gives you freedom to move (move in the broadest sense of the word, meaning also mobility, being able to pick something up from the floor without too many aches and pains), some financial backing means you're not constantly worrying about where your next meal comes from, so you're free to think about other things.

Re: I thought I’d have accomplished a lot more today and also before I was 35 (2020)

#92

Post by swayvil »

Imagine that you're trapped in the matrix. A dream where all projects, even the most impressive, are just videogames and dust.

The only worthwhile achievements would be to become aware of your predicament and to escape the matrix.

And any worthwhile pursuit other than that is just a deeper kind of trap. Distracting you while the clock ticks away.

Re: I thought I’d have accomplished a lot more today and also before I was 35 (2020)

#93

Post by alkonaut »

Isn't life merely thinking you'll accomplish something big in the future when you are young (from by a bias that shows people accomplishing grand things more than others), and then basiclaly being too busy just living for a couple of decades, and finally accepting that merely living is accomplishment enough?

This panic over accomplishment must be a cultural phenomenon. I can't relate. Is there a wide group of people who are in panic over that their life might end up being merely "lived" without companies founded, books published, mountains climbed?

Re: I thought I’d have accomplished a lot more today and also before I was 35 (2020)

#94

Post by goodpoint »

dagw wrote: post #27
gonzo41 wrote: post #19

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Elon had starting capital. Never forget that he had the ability to have a soft landing all his life.

Elon had starting capital. So do millions of people. The vast majority end up doing absolutely nothing of interest or value with it.

Starting capital and social connections is like having thousands of lottery tickets.

You need to be smart enough to check the winning numbers, but that's far from enough to win.

Re: I thought I’d have accomplished a lot more today and also before I was 35 (2020)

#95

Post by math-dev »

cik wrote: post #28

There's something cross cultural here that just doesn't cross. I can't relate. I'm responsible for me - my success, my failures. I also sure as hell better check on my neighbour and lend a hand. Fulfilment comes from within, not externally. Results driven fulfilment comes from the gradual achievement of small goals, slowly combining into larger goals. They can be as small, as simple as reading a book. The best advice…

Finish what you start is such a great philosophy - I am trying my best to do that too.

Re: I thought I’d have accomplished a lot more today and also before I was 35 (2020)

#96

Post by WJW »

dagw wrote: post #26
asplake wrote: post #9

Personally, I’ve done some of my best work in my 40’s and 50’s. And so different to anything I was capable of doing in my 20’s and 30’s. The funniest thing is that I chose not only my university degree but also my optional modules based on a career choice that I moved on from well before I was 30. I don’t generally do regrets, but older me would tell younger me to relax a bit. There’s plenty of time and lots of thing…

Yes. I'm 43 and I'm feeling that I'm only now just hitting my stride, career wise, with good idea what I'm actually good at, want to do and can contribute. 20-40 was basically floundering around, trying things, learning things and working out what I wanted to do when I 'grew up'. And looking back, I wouldn't want to have had it any other way.

For sure. When I was 15, I looked back on my 10-year old self as someone who didn't know anything but now I had learned a lot. When I was 20, I looked back on my 15-year old self as someone who knew nothing but now I was an adult. At 25, I looked at my 20-year old self in the same way. Repeat for the next few steps. I'm now 35, pretty happy with how it is going life- and career-wise and I look back on my 30-year old self as someone who was starting to get it but was still rather young and naive.

Today I feel like a proper adult who does adulty things and has life figured out reasonably well, but no doubt 40-year old me will think my current self was still pretty young and inexperienced.

Re: I thought I’d have accomplished a lot more today and also before I was 35 (2020)

#98

Post by creamynebula »

arethuza wrote: post #90
pmoriarty wrote: post #53

Earlier quoted context omitted.

"I'm responsible for me - my success, my failures... Fulfilment comes from within, not externally." What's external and what's internal? Where do your desires come from? Your hopes? Some people think they are the masters of their mind, that what they feel come from them, but what about the influence of their parents, their friends, the movies they watch, the books they read, advertising, music, social media? We swim…

I'm in my 50s and I like to think I've had a reasonable career so far. However, by far the most fulfilling thing I've done for a long long time is helping out in a foodbank in a nearby town. So my biggest regret at the moment is actually realising that, at least for me, helping other people actually can be rather more fulfilling than achieving purely personal goals - I wish I'd realised this sooner.

You realised it just in time!

Re: I thought I’d have accomplished a lot more today and also before I was 35 (2020)

#99

Post by dhzhzjsbevs »

math-dev wrote: post #95
cik wrote: post #28

There's something cross cultural here that just doesn't cross. I can't relate. I'm responsible for me - my success, my failures. I also sure as hell better check on my neighbour and lend a hand. Fulfilment comes from within, not externally. Results driven fulfilment comes from the gradual achievement of small goals, slowly combining into larger goals. They can be as small, as simple as reading a book. The best advice…

Finish what you start is such a great philosophy - I am trying my best to do that too.

That hasn't worked well for me. I'm too busy starting new things.

On the other hand, while I've got a lot on the go, I do eventually finish things, so winning I guess?

Re: I thought I’d have accomplished a lot more today and also before I was 35 (2020)

#100

Post by yoshyosh »

xvector wrote: post #39
cik wrote: post #28

There's something cross cultural here that just doesn't cross. I can't relate. I'm responsible for me - my success, my failures. I also sure as hell better check on my neighbour and lend a hand. Fulfilment comes from within, not externally. Results driven fulfilment comes from the gradual achievement of small goals, slowly combining into larger goals. They can be as small, as simple as reading a book. The best advice…

> Fulfilment comes from within, not externally. I am 26 and this is has been the hardest thing for me to come to terms with over the past few years. I thought I'd be happier with a high paying job. So I got a job that pays at the 99.9th percentile for my age. Didn't really make me happier. Then I thought my unhappiness was because of my weight. So I lost 90lbs. Hardest thing I've ever done. But it didn't make me happ…

Highly recommend checking out the Wheel of Life[1], to help you understand the different areas that contribute to happiness, it's never just one thing. Writing down what you think will get an area to a 10, envisioning it, then seeing if you feel that would feel like a 10 is a great way to uncover where you may be overthinking what gets you there before doing all that work.

Gratitude should also help with each area that you feel is fulfilled, otherwise you just never have enough

[1] https://www.mindtools.com/pages/article/newHTE_93.htm

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