To boost your intelligence, learn how to self-soothe • Hacker News Board

Re: To boost your intelligence, learn how to self-soothe

#91

Post by sdwr » Sun, Jul 04, 2021, 2:10 AM UTC

cartoonworld wrote: post #74

sdwr wrote: post #60

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Great point about of the value of mentorship, legacy, chain of knowledge. The emotional landscape can be complicated, scary, and full of conflicting information. Having a trusted example of something working is a huge advantage. Take Donald Trump as a (not entirely positive) case study. Without the example of his father, he would never have had the confidence to be so scummy and provocative, or to desecrate the role…

This is really funny, I think I agree? I'm honestly not sure, but I am sensing a giggle.

Just a tiny one :^|

Re: To boost your intelligence, learn how to self-soothe

#92

Post by astrange » Sun, Jul 04, 2021, 4:02 AM UTC

bloqs wrote: post #88

astrange wrote: post #81

Earlier quoted context omitted.

> It's generally acknowledged that IQ measured by well known IQ tests like the WAIS are fairly consistent over time. This is partially because they're designed to behave that way. There is not a direct causation between your score on a test and your quality of life. Also, how many people are actually taking IQ tests multiple times in their life? Who even takes them once unless they're being studied for a mental healt…

Plenty of people, particularly people employed by large institutional bodies like the the worlds mililitaries, many participating in long term studies, people being assessed for schools and colleges for learning difficulties, people joining a variety of institutions like mensa or applying to a range of jobs

I think only "participating in long term studies" counts here, the rest don't actually get results that can be compared over time. And if you're taking the rest because you have learning difficulties, why would the results apply to humanity in general?

Re: To boost your intelligence, learn how to self-soothe

#93

Post by tsegratis » Sun, Jul 04, 2021, 6:18 PM UTC

sensorsbroken wrote: post #16

This describes me well. As a kid, I scored off the charts in math but was decidedly average in verbal. I can read technical literature all day long, but most works of fiction, historical writings, etc, are lost on me completely. I was in G&T throughout grade school, anyway, since I was among the top students in math. My learning disability was unidentified until adulthood, unfortunately. Now, as a middle aged adult,…

> Things have deteriorated ...

I'm sorry about that

Can't reply to your recent post, (it is disabled), so replying here

I also have a learning disability

> Now, as a middle aged adult, I'm broken, homeless, and destitute, socially and reputationally ruined, and a bit beyond the level of youthful neuroplasticity needed to engage in meaningful continued education, contemplating suicide day in and day out for years and decades on end. It's a miracle I'm still here

What things give you hope? What are the miracles that still causes you to be here?

You mentioned praying for forgiveness. Did you receive an answer? What would you like forgiveness for?

Looking forward to hearing from you

Re: To boost your intelligence, learn how to self-soothe

#94

Post by Xc43 » Mon, Jul 05, 2021, 3:59 PM UTC

twirligigue wrote: post #67

Xc43 wrote: post #42

Earlier quoted context omitted.

She is saying more than that. She is saying learn to confront discomfort/pain with self-soothing. Once you know how to address the pain associated with being seen as an inexperienced/disabled person, you can confront it in many situations. Be it in learning from another or from a book. Distracting emotions are part of you and have to be addressed eventually. Soothing yourself reinforces the motivation for progress an…

So the way to self-soothe is with self-talk? Are there any other ways?

1)Yes, with a caveat. 2)There are no other ways.

There are no other ways because we humans are story machines. Among the many things we do, we consume stories and produce stories and that makes up our inner world. Story require words. Talking. Assisted self-talk would be therapy. There are no sustainable ways to soothing but words. Unsustainable are the use of supplements such as magnesium glycinate (to calm the mind), etc. All roads lead to self-talk. Therapy and Mg could be used as crutches to better self-talk. That written, self-talk should not be talked about without caveat.

The caveat is this: Self-talk can only change within your mind if you can conceptualize another kind of self-talk. Like a fellow answered your question, expanded awareness is key to make space in your mind, space for another self-talk. There is this technique called the Alexander technique whose purpose is expand your awareness. By expanding your awareness, by being able to think and feel those negative feelings and thoughts and think positive ones at the same time and gently steering your mind towards the positive you can achieve a new status quo in your mind. This require words and there also is non-verbal aspect to it. Words can come in the way of feelings if they are not embodied. For example, when you tell yourself "I want to..." or "I should not..." yet behave not as the words suggest, then that means you are not embodying your words. Also, self-talk ideally as a time component attached to it. Which is where it gets a lot of strength.

"I don't like this. (awareness of the current experience) But, it is necessary to get what I want (expansion of awareness, to include a desirable future). Therefore, this pain is a sign I am making desirable progress! (new self-talk)"

Whichever road you take at the beginning, therapy, supplements, meditation, etc, know the destination you seek is better self-talk. Embodied self-talk with a time component. Also please remember, the brain takes time to create new pathways. You might be able to achieve perfect embodied self-talk with a time component, but only consistency will make it easier and eventually automatic.

This is a link towards a teacher of the Alexander Technique, he talks about awareness in greater length: https://twitter.com/m_ashcroft

Re: To boost your intelligence, learn how to self-soothe

#95

Post by twirligigue » Tue, Jul 06, 2021, 1:00 AM UTC

Xc43 wrote: post #94

twirligigue wrote: post #67

Earlier quoted context omitted.

So the way to self-soothe is with self-talk? Are there any other ways?

1)Yes, with a caveat. 2)There are no other ways. There are no other ways because we humans are story machines. Among the many things we do, we consume stories and produce stories and that makes up our inner world. Story require words. Talking. Assisted self-talk would be therapy. There are no sustainable ways to soothing but words. Unsustainable are the use of supplements such as magnesium glycinate (to calm the mind…

Thanks. I like his motto, 'Clear intentions, lightly held'

Re: To boost your intelligence, learn how to self-soothe

#96

Post by qq4 » Tue, Jul 06, 2021, 3:00 AM UTC

theIntuitionist wrote: post #48

qq4 wrote: post #33

Earlier quoted context omitted.

What is the rational behind your first sentence? Solving problems is progress, and that is anything but bleak. > Don’t waste cycles on the emotions of having problems. I don't think you're reading what the parent comment is actually saying. Finding purpose, not burning out, etc are all categorically problems and the common goal is to solve them. Don't get buried in emotion due to _having_ the problems.

How much satisfaction do you really get from checking something off the list? There was some motivation that put the item on the list in the first place, and 9 time out of 10, that motivation goes back to an emotional drive of some sort. Ignoring that motivation during the process of satisfying it is fundamentally missing the point.

A lot. I love seeing that check and looking back on other ones along with the work that I did.

Re: To boost your intelligence, learn how to self-soothe

#97

Post by MonaroVXR » Sun, Jul 11, 2021, 8:21 PM UTC

qwerty456127 wrote: post #39

The article describes my actual life precisely. Yet it's kinda clickbait. I forced myself to read it carefully from top to bottom (which is hard when you have ADHD) in hope of finding advises on how to actually do that but didn't find any.

>"...in hope of finding advises on how to actually do that but didn't find any."

because it's difficult and for everyone different.