91–100 of 110 posts
As the proud parent of a very chatty daughter of two, I wonder: what would be an equivalent sort of project for girls? At the moment she likes Duplo/Lego because it's one of the few areas where we connect over the gender divide, but her other roleplay and games are all about caring and she's very empathic with other children (worrying when they cry etc). I do wonder whether pointing her towards hackerdom would really…
Ask Her.
This sort of story makes me sad. We don't have a tree house, we don't even have a tree. We don't have money to spend at the DIY store to keep the house in shape never mind making checkers boards for fun. I thought I was getting pretty good at quenching the covetousness that society seemed to have imbued me with but when one realises that stuff is needed for many uplifting experiences. Realising the great joy certain…
Too often as adults we take over, we are too quick to step in, solve problems, "help" & rescue. Playing dumb can be the smartest thing to do sometimes.
Typical enterprise developer: 1. User knows exactly what he wants. 2. User can only express that in his own language. 3. Data flow diagrams, best practices, structured design, etc. 4. Dev still doesn't know what user wants but builds anyway. 5. 2 years later, project scrapped. Scott Nesin: 1. User knows exactly what he wants. 2. User can only express that in his own language. 3. Developer patiently encourages user to…
It is a rare developer who can handle the Nesin step 3. It requires an empathy that doesn't come naturally to many engineers. However, when cultivated, that empathy makes for phenomenal developers. When I manage development teams, that is the number one trait I manage for. With empathy, all other problems can be solved.
You win. I've stumbled across a handy mental model (in which empathy plays a pivotal role) through research on mindfulness, emotion, and neuroscience, as well as in an emotional intelligence course taught at Google by Chade-Meng Tan. In short:
Bodily awareness -> emotional self-awareness -> emotional other-awareness (empathy) -> effective communication -> healthy relationships -> happiness.
It turns out that your brain uses the same machinery to model your own emotional state as that which it uses to model the emotional states of others, so the better you are at identifying your own emotional states, the better you will be at identifying them in others, which will allow you to communicate more effectively and so forth.
Also relevant: Asana's Jack Stahl touches on the importance of empathy in a post post about peer feedback at work: http://asana.com/2011/06/peer-feedback-at-asana/
Earlier quoted context omitted.
> I've seen multiple studies that show parents who withhold praise raise higher achievers Ok. I don't like that either. I'd rather raise a healthy, curious, creative, passionate, and happy child. I couldn't care less about what he achieves. If he achieves nothing, so be it. In fact, on average, he won't achieve much ... but when he does achieve something, it'll blow your mind. And that little drone you raised, who is…
I think 'start the next Apple' is just as constrained as what you're dogging. What about just getting married and raising a great family? Or starting a mechanic shop that lets him fish every afternoon? Living a happy life that they choose and having a positive impact on the people around them. The occupation, money, etc. don't matter so much.
That's a lot harder than starting the next Apple. Seriously.
Telling your kid "I just want you to be happy" is nice, but it conveys nothing. As a parent, it's your job to teach him how to get there.
I should know what his passion is. I'm his dad. I don't care if it's computers, cars, or fish. Whatever it is, I'll do it with him and I'll push him to be the best in that field.
I don't care what "achievements" he acquires. That trophy means squat. So does that degree. So does that salary.
I want to see the child challenged, I want to see him fail, and I want to see him get up, learn from his mistakes, and try again. I want to see that attitude in every aspect of his life. That, alone, is the biggest achievement he can make.
Maybe if the kid tries to become the next Steve Jobs, he'll fall on his ass often enough, to the point that the pain will beat into him what's really important in life ... and maybe, just maybe, after all that, he'll learn how to live a happy life.
My son (5) has his own workbench next to mine, and regularly likes to go "build stuff" with me. He's built several "houses" (random blocks of wood glued/screwed/nailed together) on his own, and loves helping cut/drill/nail whatever project we happen to be working on. If I'm working on electronics stuff he likes to take the voltmeter and check the resistance of various objects to see if it beeps. I realized all the ha…
This guy thinks his kid is cute, because it's his kid, but I don't like the part where he deliberately irritates everyone in the hardware store. I don't think your kid is cute, so please keep it out of my way.
I wonder how people like you expect kids to learn how to socialise appropriately if they must be kept out of the way all the time.
Earlier quoted context omitted.
I made a 'Ponyo' boat out of a used soda can (which I took from the office), a used milk/juice carton (which I took for a party I went to). Didn't cost anything (even the glue I used was the end of a pot of epoxy I've had for years). http://blog.jgc.org/2011/06/making-ponyo-or-putt-putt-boat.h... Fun to do if you have kids.
That looks really good ... going to need a hot-glue gun first. Actually though some multi-purpose tube glue that I use to stick my shoes with should do it. Still not free. It's funny, so often with these makes there are hidden costs. Silver spray can is quite expensive where I am. Of course you can skip that part.
Food colouring cost money, as does flours, but you can make your own from plants/cereals if you really feel the need.
Either you have enough money to buy some glue, or you can spend time teaching your kids how to make it. If your kids have an impressive enough attention span, you'll be teaching them something by making the glue, even more if you make the flour!
Money just makes things convient/easy. You're trying to teach, lack of money helps that.
My son (5) has his own workbench next to mine, and regularly likes to go "build stuff" with me. He's built several "houses" (random blocks of wood glued/screwed/nailed together) on his own, and loves helping cut/drill/nail whatever project we happen to be working on. If I'm working on electronics stuff he likes to take the voltmeter and check the resistance of various objects to see if it beeps. I realized all the ha…
"Appropriate remark of frustration" - I can't think of any (contextually) appropriate remarks that are appropriate for a five year old.
This sort of story makes me sad. We don't have a tree house, we don't even have a tree. We don't have money to spend at the DIY store to keep the house in shape never mind making checkers boards for fun. I thought I was getting pretty good at quenching the covetousness that society seemed to have imbued me with but when one realises that stuff is needed for many uplifting experiences. Realising the great joy certain…