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Why Russians do not smile (2002)

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Re: Why Russians do not smile (2002)

#91

Post by dougmwne »

Krasnol wrote: post #46
dougmwne wrote: post #13

I wonder if any Russians can weigh in if this still feels accurate. I'm familiar with Polish Culture, which is less fun, frivolous, and happy than American culture, but a smile is certainly not an attack, just reserved for genuine occasions. Service people are in no way expected to smile unless there is some honest reason to.

I am Polish and I can not confirm that. I felt a sharp decline in "smiles" after my move to Germany where your description fits much more. I see much more people smiling for no obvious reasons when I visit Poland from time to time. Something which is not perceived as something else but friendliness by my German SO though while I've witnessed Germans being perceived as very cold by US Americans for the way they are. I…

That makes sense. My main context for comparison is US vs PL, and there's a largish difference between strangers and in public or service people and a much smaller difference with friends and family. If you start talking to a stranger in the grocery store in the US because you were both reaching for the same milk you might get a very big smile. I would never expect such an exaggerated reaction in PL, just a small nod or pardon me.

Also, service people are not supposed to be fake smiling, we are actually expecting their emotional labor on top of the labor of their job. They are supposed to be cheering us up with their genuinely good attitude and "changing someone's day for the better" with their smile. It's all pretty exhausting.

Re: Why Russians do not smile (2002)

#92

Post by borroka »

ferdowsi wrote: post #70
zeroc8 wrote: post #60

Austrian here, we are somewhat in between Russians and Americans, when it comes to smiling. But what I can tell you is that life is just so much better when people smile at you, even if it might not be a hundred percent genuine. My comparison stems from having worked with both Russians and Americans. Being around grumpy Russians all day long makes live really miserable.

Cannot agree enough. I joined a startup that very clearly initially hired for Russian cultural fit (friends hiring friends) and the mood was like attending a funeral on a daily basis. During interviewing, the hiring manager very cleverly had the minority of native-born Americans speak to me so I never got a feel for the actual culture. I couldn't imagine working long for a place where every day seemed like solitary m…

Smiling and being entertaining are not correlated (personal experience after a few decades of being alive). There are few everyday situations worse than being welcomed by a smile which looks fake one mile out. A genuine smile is not an every-second gesture.

Re: Why Russians do not smile (2002)

#93

Post by Arech »

dougmwne wrote: post #13

I wonder if any Russians can weigh in if this still feels accurate. I'm familiar with Polish Culture, which is less fun, frivolous, and happy than American culture, but a smile is certainly not an attack, just reserved for genuine occasions. Service people are in no way expected to smile unless there is some honest reason to.

It's as accurate as can be accurate any statement about a culture that spans thousands kilometres from East to West and from South to North and contain multitude of subcultures within itself. I.e. it depends, but "yes" is generally closer to the truth than "no"

Re: Why Russians do not smile (2002)

#94

Post by pjlegato »

jagrsw wrote: post #68
dougmwne wrote: post #13

I wonder if any Russians can weigh in if this still feels accurate. I'm familiar with Polish Culture, which is less fun, frivolous, and happy than American culture, but a smile is certainly not an attack, just reserved for genuine occasions. Service people are in no way expected to smile unless there is some honest reason to.

This is a risky hypothesis, but could it have something to do with access to guns? In a society when every stranger can potentially be armed, it might be prudent to somehow display the 'I intend no harm' sign upfront, and smile might be a good proxy for that? The 'the armed society is a polite society' thing? Living in Europe, where owning guns is not common (and carrying personally very very rare), I don't feel comp…

Gun ownership is quite common in many parts of Europe. Finland in particular is nearly the same as the US in terms of percentage of households with firearms.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Percent_of_households_with_gun...

Re: Why Russians do not smile (2002)

#95

Post by [deleted] »

tut-urut-utut wrote: post #20
dosman33 wrote: post #10

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Yes. Once while touring a space museum in Switzerland I was reading the placards about the Russian and US space programs. Yuri Gagarin was consistently referred to as "the communist" which seemed perfectly normal to me as an American. Then I saw one that referred to John Glenn as "the capitalist" which was a novel concept to my brain. It wasn't until that moment that I realized just how ridiculous it was for us to re…

> Yuri Gregorian Yuri Gagarin

[deleted]

Re: Why Russians do not smile (2002)

#97

Post by abruzzi »

I'm an American, but I don't smile by showing my teeth, though I will sometimes do a closed lip smile. For me I don't think it is cultural, but rather that smiling always feels to me like baring my teeth, i.e. aggressive and threatening. I don't honestly know why I feel that way, I don't have any history or experiences that would seem to cause that, but it just feels wrong to do. I've always wondered if there are other people have the same reaction?

Note: I don't see other people's smiles as threatening, it just feels that way when I do it.

Re: Why Russians do not smile (2002)

#99

Post by w0de0 »

inanutshellus wrote: post #37
thatfrenchguy wrote: post #12

But really, why do Americans smile?

One of the other commenters said: [snip]The English used to feel pretty uncomfortable about yanks grinning away at everything[/snip] That surprised me, since our cultural norms largely stemmed from there. So what would account for the difference? It must've come about after we split as a country. I wonder if it's our Declaration of Independence including "the pursuit of Happiness". See: We hold these truths to be sel…

> That surprised me, since our cultural norms largely stemmed from [England].

I don't think that assumption really holds up, it's very pop-history. From the Scots of the Appalachians, the religious fanatics of New England, the garguntuan influence of African-American syncretic culture, the Nordic yeoman of the mid-north-east, the southern European urban influx of the 1900s and the new, exciting Latin American syncretism: America really is a cultural melting pot. Only, really, the Virginia gentry (Jefferson, Washington, et al) can be plainly said to have imported English norms - and still, they were ideological radicals interested in forming a new nation.

The French like to call us (English, Scots, and all the varieties of American) "Anglo-Saxons," but they're hardly right. Don't give them ammo, they're already merciless!

Re: Why Russians do not smile (2002)

#100

Post by 1123581321 »

firebaze wrote: post #74
zeroc8 wrote: post #60

Austrian here, we are somewhat in between Russians and Americans, when it comes to smiling. But what I can tell you is that life is just so much better when people smile at you, even if it might not be a hundred percent genuine. My comparison stems from having worked with both Russians and Americans. Being around grumpy Russians all day long makes live really miserable.

I can't second this. Everytime I'm in the US I'm scared of all the friendly, smiling people, asking "How are you?" in such a friendly tone, it's delightful. Of course it's faked, anyone knows, and dare if you'd reply with "not good, my aunt just died". Awkward situation ensues, everybody tries to get out of the situation ("and what would you like to have for breakfast tomorrow?"). Now replay the same situation in ano…

Sorry, I wish we were better at this. I can tell you that there's a difference between our quick "hey, how are you" said in passing and "how are you" where the person is facing you, not moving, and waiting for an answer. In the second situation, Americans would consider anyone who doesn't respond to sad news with concern to be rude. Not many will invite you to drink on the spot, though.
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