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Being kind to others is good for your health

bbc.com

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Re: Being kind to others is good for your health

#91

Post by go13 »

marta_morena_9 wrote: post #66

These studies are always funny. So what this is trying to tell us is: Volunteering boosts your health, while the data only provides us with "volunteers are generally in better health". Now this study "tried" to adjust to that by some filtering, but this is still a pretty big leap. Essentially what they would need to do is this: Have one group of people who "actively" is kind to people, i.e. they actually act on their…

journalists that received their degree in social science and other similar fields probably never heard of causation/correlation principle and with no principle like this in their mind they can passionately promote whatever social justice agenda they have. (and im not against helping others or being kind. Im against nonsense in social columns on mainstream media like bbc)

Re: Being kind to others is good for your health

#92

Post by js2 »

awillen wrote: post #74
bluetomcat wrote: post #58

Earlier quoted context omitted.

> I live in New York, which has a basic culture of "hyper aggressiveness" A defining trait of American culture is hyperactivity. Commenting on trivial stuff, moving around restlessly while holding a drink, despise for idle time. The "kindness" thing is a form of hyper-expressivity which is rarely seen in calm cultures.

This is one of those generalizations that just doesn't work for a country with hundreds of millions of people. You think those in the South and Midwest are hyperactive? Hardly. Those in sleepy beach towns? Nah. If you think that there are defining traits of that many people in a country that varies so greatly in terms of geography, lifestyle, religion and culture, then you just don't know what you're talking about.

I'm from Miami. Years ago, I was visiting my wife (girlfriend at the time) in the keys. We went out to dinner. I was apparently still in Miami mode. The server said to me (and this took about a minute for him to say): "Relax ... man ... you're ... in ... the ... keys ... now."

So, yeah.

Re: Being kind to others is good for your health

#94

Post by danenania »

bumby wrote: post #90
danenania wrote: post #75

Earlier quoted context omitted.

The goal is to maximize how much of your social time and energy is spent on mutually rewarding interactions and relationships relative to one-sided or exploitative interactions and relationships. A constraint is wanting to remain open to potentially rewarding new relationships (so not simply closing yourself off to people who aren't already in your circle). Another constraint is remaining flexible for when people upd…

While I can understand your perspective and probably would completely agree in the past, it still strikes me as rooted in a transactional expectation. “I did something so now it’s incumbent on you to do something.” My definition of compassion doesn’t encompass giving compassion only if I have the promise of receiving it in return. I also think you can be non-transactional while still having boundaries. Not saying hi…

I think we actually agree. I'm not saying that you should expect something in return when being kind to people. That's not real altruism.

I'm more talking about when someone goes in the other direction and is notably unkind, inconsiderate, cold, exploitative, or otherwise disrespectful to you. That's when it's time to switch to a new strategy.

To me, ignoring a neighbor who greets you is pretty cold and disrespectful, but yeah, everyone has a different line when it comes to these things, and it depends a lot on context.

Re: Being kind to others is good for your health

#95

Post by enriquto »

ChrisMarshallNY wrote: post #49

The only issue that I have, is that so many people (in my industry/nation/orbit) mistake kindness for weakness. I live in New York, which has a basic culture of "hyper aggressiveness." It isn't "rudeness," as so many people like to think of New Yorkers. They can be aggressively kind and generous. They are just aggressive. I'm also in the tech industry, which seems to have a very aggressive and competitive culture. It…

> so many people (in my industry/nation/orbit) mistake kindness for weakness.

A complementary but closely related problem is that many people mistake unkindness for aggression.

Re: Being kind to others is good for your health

#97

Post by geedy »

warent wrote: post #63
ChrisMarshallNY wrote: post #49

The only issue that I have, is that so many people (in my industry/nation/orbit) mistake kindness for weakness. I live in New York, which has a basic culture of "hyper aggressiveness." It isn't "rudeness," as so many people like to think of New Yorkers. They can be aggressively kind and generous. They are just aggressive. I'm also in the tech industry, which seems to have a very aggressive and competitive culture. It…

Kindness takes courage. There seem to be a lot of people who live at a level of abstraction where they perceive every interaction as being about dominance and submission. In my humble opinion it is a very limited mindset. I consider myself to be generous person, and also slow to anger. As a result, there are people who think they hit the jackpot and found a submissive pushover who is like a flimsy tree that will bend…

I love this.

Any tips for doing this during a pandemic? Beyond just the usual of treating people well?

Re: Being kind to others is good for your health

#98

Post by readarticle »

bluetomcat wrote: post #89
awillen wrote: post #74

Earlier quoted context omitted.

This is one of those generalizations that just doesn't work for a country with hundreds of millions of people. You think those in the South and Midwest are hyperactive? Hardly. Those in sleepy beach towns? Nah. If you think that there are defining traits of that many people in a country that varies so greatly in terms of geography, lifestyle, religion and culture, then you just don't know what you're talking about.

As a European, I have had numerous work relationships and occasional acquaintances with Americans from California, Arizona, Idaho and NY. Yes, everyone has a different personality and the region matters, but compared to my own Eastern European culture, the difference in mood, confidence and talkativity is rather consistent. Maybe my sample of American people is not completely representative, but these are just my obs…

It’s actually interesting those are the samples as I would probably characterize the West & (North) East they’re all from as the most “hyperactive” parts of the country vs the South & Mexican Border at the other end of the spectrum, with the Mid West & rest of the East somewhere in between (but probably closer to the coasts than the south & border).

Look out for any exciting opportunities to visit El Paso, Texas or Birmingham, Alabama for a proper comparison sometime if you can.

Bonus points for Brownsville, Texas where you can get a well steeped mix of the South & border along with a rocket launch!

Re: Being kind to others is good for your health

#99

Post by morlockabove »

momokoko wrote: post #81
awillen wrote: post #74

Earlier quoted context omitted.

This is one of those generalizations that just doesn't work for a country with hundreds of millions of people. You think those in the South and Midwest are hyperactive? Hardly. Those in sleepy beach towns? Nah. If you think that there are defining traits of that many people in a country that varies so greatly in terms of geography, lifestyle, religion and culture, then you just don't know what you're talking about.

I definitely think Europeans and others from homogeneous or smaller countries struggle to understand the variety and diversity of culture of the United States.

In europe, the surrounding countries are your equivalent to the different states in the us

Re: Being kind to others is good for your health

#100

Post by dash2 »

__MatrixMan__ wrote: post #79
11thEarlOfMar wrote: post #69

Earlier quoted context omitted.

I started counting the number of qualifying words, even in the linked studies, and then just gave up. Is human behavior truly so opaque that experiments cannot be designed that conclusively determine specific causation?

When faced with a choice between: - causality is less widely applicable than we like to think - our behavior is more complex than we like to think I'm more inclined to doubt causality. Not that it's not a useful framework in general, but that is less useful when applied by humans to humans regarding human constructs like kindness.

This seems unclear. I mean, either X causes Y or it doesn’t. (If you change X, holding everything else constant, does Y change or not?)

One thing you might mean is that causal chains are very complex and variable, so the average causal effect in a large population is not very informative about any individual - it’s an average of many different sized effects.

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