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Who Americans spend their time with, by age

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Re: Who Americans spend their time with, by age

#91

Post by vollmond »

Swizec wrote: post #88
frakt0x90 wrote: post #83

Earlier quoted context omitted.

I experienced this first hand when I visited my wife's family in Vietnam. All 10 or so of them live in homes side by side on the outskirts of Saigon. Everyone woke up in the morning and cooked for each other. Every day was like a little party. It was so nice to have that much support around all the time. I have never experienced anything like that in the US. Of course having family literally at your doorstep has its…

My mom always said ”Move far away enough that your parents can’t visit in their slippers, trust me you don’t want that kinda meddling” I moved to USA. “Damn it I didn’t mean that far” ~ mom My sister lives with her boyfriend in his mom’s house. There is indeed a ridiculous amount of meddling even though they’re technically separate households.

This becomes even more likely with internet communities, etc. I met my wife online, and our hometowns are 1200 miles apart. It's impossible to live less than an 8 hour drive from both our families. We lived near mine for 4 or 5 years after getting married, now near hers for about 10. It's hard to feel close to both, and have that support network.

Re: Who Americans spend their time with, by age

#92

Post by _qulr »

danenania wrote: post #77
_qulr wrote: post #63

Earlier quoted context omitted.

> not fighting against the way that our bodies and minds were designed Our minds and bodies were not designed. They evolved — slowly — under conditions of relatively harshness and scarcity that to a large extent no longer exist. The human "habitat" has changed radically in the past several hundred years. One might argue that we're no longer adapted to our environment. Evolution doesn't work quickly enough for that. I…

They were in a sense designed by an impersonal process--but I agree "design" isn't the best word since it implies intention. I would agree that we are no longer adapted to our environment, and this seems to be the cause of many "modern" forms of suffering that are unrelated to scarcity, like mental illness and diseases of over-consumption. To me this implies that we have done a bad job in creating an environment for…

The thing is, we don't need anthropology to tell us that inactivity and excessive calorie consumption are bad. And the solution to obesity and similar problems is certainly not to return to hunter-gatherer society. Evolution is just a red herring here. It can tell us how we got here, but not how to move forward.

Re: Who Americans spend their time with, by age

#93

Post by bcrosby95 »

burlesona wrote: post #78
yodsanklai wrote: post #51

Earlier quoted context omitted.

I remember a trip to Hong Kong. I was very surprised to see a lot of old folks hanging out together, in the park, or traditional restaurants. Actually, even in NYC, there were always a lot of elderlies spending time in the Deli near my home. Maybe the secret is to retire in a place where one can maintain a good social life at an advanced age.

This is very true. Unfortunately such places are almost all very expensive these days. So if you’re not already into late retirement age (and you moved there 40 years ago when it was affordable), then it’s not economically feasible for most people to get in now.

There's lots of small towns across America that are cheap to live in close to a couple shops and restaurants. It might not be New York where you have a billion options but its enough to have a place to walk where you can get to know the regulars.

Re: Who Americans spend their time with, by age

#94

Post by silveroriole »

Dirlewanger wrote: post #55
silveroriole wrote: post #30

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Makes me feel better in a way. By age 60 it won’t matter much whether I had kids or not. Time spent with them per day equals, like, one TV episode. So I’m happy to see that my partner and my self will continue to be more important by that metric.

What a truly bizarre sentiment. Just because the kids move out means they're completely out of your life?

Well, it’s not my sentiment, it’s the figure in the graph!

Re: Who Americans spend their time with, by age

#95

Post by TeMPOraL »

abduhl wrote: post #76
kenjackson wrote: post #65

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Is it that poor? During the pandemic my son has stayed in touch with his friends on the phone in these big group chats and smaller chats as well. I’m amazed at how natural it has become for them. They talk, gossip, play games (Roblox, Fortnite, nba 2k), and even watch YouTube and TikTok together. I think the model they created will persist into post Covid, with the addition of physical connection.

It is a poor substitution. Online groups nowadays are inherently exclusive and degenerative: they very rarely grow to include new individuals who were not in from the start and often will shrink over time as people feel slighted by something or another and disengage. There is no opportunity for growth. Social groups get crystallized and social growth stunted.

Not to my experience. Whether big (subreddits, HN) or small (bunch of friends over a Telegram/WhatsApp chat), the groups tend to be somewhat inclusive and grow over time; the larger they are, the faster they grow. But even if they didn't, arguably exclusivity is a feature.

Re: Who Americans spend their time with, by age

#97

Post by op03 »

burlesona wrote: post #36

The thing that seems crazy to me is how much time alone increases with age. There are many many reasons for it, but one thing I think is especially sad is how much this is a consequence of our built environment. If you live in a village with multiple generations of a family around, it’s much easier for grandparents to be involved day too day in helping with little things in the village, especially keeping an eye on t…

That's all nice until they start holding you responsible for the activities and issues of every sibling, cousin or random distant relative you have never met :)

Re: Who Americans spend their time with, by age

#98

Post by gwd »

burlesona wrote: post #36

The thing that seems crazy to me is how much time alone increases with age. There are many many reasons for it, but one thing I think is especially sad is how much this is a consequence of our built environment. If you live in a village with multiple generations of a family around, it’s much easier for grandparents to be involved day too day in helping with little things in the village, especially keeping an eye on t…

> The thing that seems crazy to me is how much time alone increases with age.

But the thing is, time with family, friends, and spouse stay basically constant. The only thing that changes is time spent with coworkers, and time spent with children.

But when you're at your office hacking away at your computer, are you really "with coworkers"? Is it really less lonely to sit at your desk, with your coworkers at their desks, than it is to sit at the workbench in your garage with your wife in the house?

I know there are exceptions -- people whose spouse has died, who live alone, and crave every bit of social interaction they can get. But on the whole this graph was fairly positive for me.

Re: Who Americans spend their time with, by age

#99

Post by visarga »

_qulr wrote: post #63
danenania wrote: post #54

Earlier quoted context omitted.

I don't think it's a question of good or bad, but of pragmatism in not fighting against the way that our bodies and minds were designed. Software is limited by the constraints of the hardware it runs on--engineers who try to ignore this will write slow and buggy software. Similarly, if we design lifestyles and societies that ignore, clash with, or subvert our biological and bio-psychological imperatives, we are likel…

> not fighting against the way that our bodies and minds were designed Our minds and bodies were not designed. They evolved — slowly — under conditions of relatively harshness and scarcity that to a large extent no longer exist. The human "habitat" has changed radically in the past several hundred years. One might argue that we're no longer adapted to our environment. Evolution doesn't work quickly enough for that. I…

So they were designed by death?

Re: Who Americans spend their time with, by age

#100

Post by watwut »

yodsanklai wrote: post #51
burlesona wrote: post #36

The thing that seems crazy to me is how much time alone increases with age. There are many many reasons for it, but one thing I think is especially sad is how much this is a consequence of our built environment. If you live in a village with multiple generations of a family around, it’s much easier for grandparents to be involved day too day in helping with little things in the village, especially keeping an eye on t…

I remember a trip to Hong Kong. I was very surprised to see a lot of old folks hanging out together, in the park, or traditional restaurants. Actually, even in NYC, there were always a lot of elderlies spending time in the Deli near my home. Maybe the secret is to retire in a place where one can maintain a good social life at an advanced age.

I have seen something similar in China. Old people socializing outside a lot, playing games, chatting, exercising (in old person kind of way) and dancing.
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