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R U OK?
91–100 of 214 posts
Re: R U OK?
#92Earlier quoted context omitted.
Exactly, R U OK day is now a pretty big thing here, and I would say almost everyone now knows what the day is about. It's got pretty good buy in by the general public which is nice. Someone on the Melbourne subreddit even baked R U OK cookies and was giving them away to strangers passing by their house. Hopefully made someone's day better.
I don't know, it seems like yet another superficial gimmick taking the place of real relationships. Giving out cookies on the street isn't getting to know someone and helping with their troubles.
The awareness has meant that I've asked people about how they're going in a non-trivial sense when I otherwise would not have. I suspect RUOK is most effective amongst friends rather than strangers in the street, and that cookies build awareness and encourage people to ask their friends, thus having some impact.
Re: R U OK?
#93No. I don't think I am depressed. I just don't want life. I was given a life without my consent, atleast give me option to exit without pain. People have children for selfish reasons, their life has no meaning, bored, what will they do in life, so have children, life becomes less painful. Now those children will have to do the same, it's a cycle. There is no meaning to be honest. People talks nice things but ultimate…
I went on holiday to Spain once, bought an inflatable dinghy and paddled with a friend for a long time around the coast until we got to a beach. On the beach was a naked man. After we had convinced him to get some pants on (mickey mouse boxer shorts) he told us his story.
Basically he'd gone on holiday exactly like us once, found this beach, and just thought, "fuck it" and stayed. Fuck the job, fuck the family, fuck the friends, everything. He lived in a cave near the beach, the locals gave him food and he did the odd job when he could be arsed.
Ever since I've thought, "if it ever gets so bad I want to kill myself, I'm just going to get up and go back to that beach."
That simple thought alone has got me through some rough times.
As we paddled away from the beach other people started coming out of other caves to come and watch us leave.
Re: R U OK?
#94No. I don't think I am depressed. I just don't want life. I was given a life without my consent, atleast give me option to exit without pain. People have children for selfish reasons, their life has no meaning, bored, what will they do in life, so have children, life becomes less painful. Now those children will have to do the same, it's a cycle. There is no meaning to be honest. People talks nice things but ultimate…
> No. I don't think I am depressed. Yup, that's a depression. Stuck in a gray cloud of meaningless and dull pain. Neither bright sunshine, nor black night. And you are a smart person and probably convinced yourself by logical reasoning that's how life is supposed to be. Look for professional help. When my car is broken I accept the fact that there are people who are better at fixing cars than me.
Okay. But what if reality is bad kind of like the cinema Matrix. Someone see the truth get sad but society tells they are mentally sick. Those who are inside matrix are regarded as normal and that's how everyone should be. People are not supposed to see the truth and only that keeps them happy.
I'm not talking about the computer simulation here but the life itself.
Re: R U OK?
#95No. I don't think I am depressed. I just don't want life. I was given a life without my consent, atleast give me option to exit without pain. People have children for selfish reasons, their life has no meaning, bored, what will they do in life, so have children, life becomes less painful. Now those children will have to do the same, it's a cycle. There is no meaning to be honest. People talks nice things but ultimate…
There are several options to exit without pain. I found one on the internet, and have prepared it. It was inexpensive and the components are not particularly suspicious. It's ready to go when I am. Somehow that makes me appreciate life more. Being able to leave at will makes staying sweeter. I can let go of much of the stress by knowing that it is voluntary and temporary, which lets me focus on the simple pleasures.…
The freeing bit in that is the sense of agency and control. We are very very attached to those things because in the construction blueprints of our minds we anchor a sense of self and a sense of happiness unconditionally with control and agency. Most people don't realize just how much they actually do this because they consider themselves healthy so it's out of their mind, but for people at the edge these words take on a very clear, material shape.
The other person who replied to you is right about the fact that you are but one oscillation away from doing something you probably wouldn't do the next day though, so while I understand your approach I would advise you to build into it a couple safeguards that ensure a reasonable amount of time passes where you can look at yourself and persistently decide to check out.
If you do need to make it available to yourself, just build a way for the process to take time before you can "pull the trigger". Filter out the high-frequency noise.
Anecdotally, I'd say even something on the order of weeks/months. And do this while you're in a decent place mentally, so that you can be kind to the version of you that goes through tougher times.
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The bigger picture, when doing this, is working towards realizing that you can gradually release the grip on this need for control through various things: at first, through practical things like having proven to yourself that you could get there already once therefore you can always do it again. But gradually, by being able to digest the flow of your emotions as they are, and figuring out how to put an increasing amount of tools, communication and basically distance between you and your end.
Re: R U OK?
#96Something I am struggling with recently is less am I ok, but more do we as humans deserve to be ok? When I look at the freeways full of cars, streets lined with overflowing garbage cans, homeless encampments, grocery stores with row after row of cheap meat under fluorescent light. Am I supposed to feel ok? It many times feels as though we are a virus decimating our host environment.
The constant flood of bad news combined with an inability to be away from the computer ( work), the inability to go outside (California fires) and the inability to go to a different indoor location (coronavirus) has maybe leant power to this very cynical viewpoint.
I guess we do not have the power, we are not responsible for the way the world is, and we do not have to bear the guilt for it.
Re: R U OK?
#97Re: R U OK?
#98Earlier quoted context omitted.
There's no "easy" to the tech interview process
That hasn't been my experience, but the point is that if you can't convince someone to pay you more for similar work, then you're not underpaid. It's not about value, or how hard you work, or whatever. It's about how much money you can convince someone to pay you. That's the only thing that matters.
This is true, and which is why I have learnt you need at least two offers before switching jobs.
Re: R U OK?
#99Good stuff. Even though a lot of people just don't want to talk to anyone when they're depressed, it doesn't hurt to remind them that there are always people willing to listen.
In my experience, the people helping you out are the ones that went through a similar thing themselves. They are also the ones that can give you the most emotional support. Because you will see that you are not the only one, which already helps a lot.
[deleted]
Re: R U OK?
#100Earlier quoted context omitted.
There are several options to exit without pain. I found one on the internet, and have prepared it. It was inexpensive and the components are not particularly suspicious. It's ready to go when I am. Somehow that makes me appreciate life more. Being able to leave at will makes staying sweeter. I can let go of much of the stress by knowing that it is voluntary and temporary, which lets me focus on the simple pleasures.…
I strongly suggest you throw those supplies in the trash. You can re obtain them if really needed. As it is, you are one bad day from taking an action that (based on populato statistical evidence) you will most likely immediately regret but cannot undo.
Possibly true in the case of someone dealing with bipolar disorder or acute depression. Not so much for someone with decades-long depression or chronic physical pain.