Question: why didn’t the more safety-focused developers just fork the project? I feel like fork-o-phobia causes 90% of the incidents like this.
Forking is extremely aggressive, and just because someone has the time to write a patch doesn't mean they have the desire or time to run a project.
This is not so. If you said "forking can be perceived as an aggressive action"* I would not disagree with you, but in the context of an FOS ecosystem, forking should not be perceived as aggressive, and it definitely is not inherently so. If someone doesn't want anyone to fork their project, why release it under an open source license? Free/Open source, full control: pick one.
I object to the characterization of forking as aggressive first because it's not, and second because it cuts off another potential avenue of redress or action. We already agree that "shouting on twitter and reddit" is not a good response. If you declare forking off limits or "impolite," what alternatives are left in a case like this?
I acknowledge the complicated ecosystem impacts of forking a popular project (I'm from the JS world where the impacts are extreme), but I don't think "let a project stagnate or yell and shout because the maintainer has other priorities" is a better alternative.
Forking a project in a case like this should be seen as "putting your money where your mouth is"/"stepping up to the plate"/taking on responsibility for change if you think a project is going in the wrong direction. Personally, I fault bitter complainers who don't fork a project for being lazy: do you care enough to actually do the maintainer's job, to take on that responsibility? If no, then what gives you the right to condemn them? If yes, great! Your problem is solved and you can maintain rather than complain.
More forks please.
* just as asking someone "where are you from?" can be perceived as aggressive but that doesn't make it objectively/inherently aggressive.