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Goodbye Facebook

theaboutness.com

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Re: Goodbye Facebook

#91

Post by scotch_drinker »

I wonder if there isn't a correlation amongst Facebook users that falls along introvert-extrovert lines. Specifically, I wonder if introverts aren't more likely to be disappointed with their experiences with Facebook because they crave deep, interpersonal relationships with fewer people while extroverts are satisfied with Facebook because it allows them to keep up to date with hundreds of people.

I find that I regularly check Facebook and am regularly disappointed with what I encounter there both as it relates to the activities of my friends and their responses to my activities. I tend to want deeper feedback and discussion which clearly isn't the model for Facebook. Whereas I know plenty of extrovert friends who love Facebook, are constantly checking in and because they have hundreds of friends, are constantly validated.

Certainly this is all anecdotal and biased given that I'm strongly introverted but every time I see someone say they are giving up Facebook or are disappointed in it (including myself), it seems to me that person is most likely introverted and thus not well served by the end goals of Facebook.

Re: Goodbye Facebook

#92

Post by philwelch »

kissickas wrote: post #82
philwelch wrote: post #55

Earlier quoted context omitted.

From personal experience, "I just graduated, got a new job, and moved to Seattle" and "my mom died" both count as "life trivia". Haven't really heard anyone come up with a new take on either of those subjects yet.

I still think new information can be created through conversations regarding those subjects better than it can be through facebook. Speaking with someone about your mom dying is bound to be more consoling than having someone comment "My condolences! What a great person" and- hopefully not- "4 people liked this." Likewise, people will ask interesting questions if you tell them you're moving to a new place, maybe helpf…

Speaking with someone about your mom dying is bound to be more consoling than having someone comment "My condolences! What a great person" and- hopefully not- "4 people liked this."

Not really. It's just tiresome and awkward. Unrelatedly, I've also had fairly intelligent (even HN-caliber) discussions on Facebook. It all depends on who your friends are.

Plus, posting something on Facebook doesn't preclude anyone from talking with me about it in person on the rare chafe they have something to say.

Re: Goodbye Facebook

#93

Post by philwelch »

drndown2007 wrote: post #89
philwelch wrote: post #51

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Personally, it gets tiresome to have the exact same conversation, individually, with a dozen different friends. There's no "soul", for me, in repeating virtually the same scripted interaction over and over again when I can just inform everyone all at once and get it over with. If I'm talking to you, I want to have a conversation that actually pertains to our unique set of mutual interests. I honestly think of things…

BUT when you just throw it up on the wall, you have no idea if anyone read it. And chances are, most of them didn't (didn't check in regularly enough, or they did check in, but your post wasn't one of the top 10 that was put on their page, etc). So did you really tell anyone?

Generally, it covers most of the people who care.

Re: Goodbye Facebook

#94

Post by drndown2007 »

philwelch wrote: post #93
drndown2007 wrote: post #89

Earlier quoted context omitted.

BUT when you just throw it up on the wall, you have no idea if anyone read it. And chances are, most of them didn't (didn't check in regularly enough, or they did check in, but your post wasn't one of the top 10 that was put on their page, etc). So did you really tell anyone?

Generally, it covers most of the people who care.

Are you sure? When I login I seem to see 5-10 posts from a list of 100 people (well, admittedly less since I've ignored so many). I you were my friend, how could you know _you_ were in that 5-10 posts that _I_ see -- you don't know how many other friends I have, and how much _they_ have posted.

Re: Goodbye Facebook

#95

Post by robryan »

drndown2007 wrote: post #94
philwelch wrote: post #93

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Generally, it covers most of the people who care.

Are you sure? When I login I seem to see 5-10 posts from a list of 100 people (well, admittedly less since I've ignored so many). I you were my friend, how could you know _you_ were in that 5-10 posts that _I_ see -- you don't know how many other friends I have, and how much _they_ have posted.

You can always check your close friends profiles from time to time.

Re: Goodbye Facebook

#96

Post by robryan »

haraball wrote: post #28
rewind wrote: post #19

I find it humorous that there is such a need to DEFINE Facebook. It's different things to different people. We really don't need one definition of what it is or a nice tidy list of the ways people use it, what the benefits are, what the drawbacks are, etc. Every time I read about somebody complaining about Facebook, I usually just end up thinking "I don't use it (exactly) that way, so this doesn't (completely) apply…

On the other hand, it also removes the need to contact that person since you already know all the latest news. I'm not comfortable in situations when I meet people I don't see often and they tell me things that I already know, and I have to pretend to not knowing it to avoid the stalkerish feeling it gives me.

It's the issue with people putting a lot of stuff out there but expecting people to consume only the newest stuff and forget that anything older exists kind of like real life conversations drift from relevance over time as subjects change.

Something like reading back through a few months of someones Facebook isn't really socially acceptable even though they are putting it all out there.

Re: Goodbye Facebook

#98

Post by batiudrami »

qjz wrote: post #45
sudont wrote: post #41

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Ok, so I did the same thing as you (delete facebook), but you're wrong in thinking that you're not anti-social by avoiding Facebook. Antisocial behavior is defined as " behaviour that lacks consideration for others and that may cause damage to society " Because literally everyone else in your social circle is on Facebook, you're actually forcing them to go out of their way to interact with you, something that fits th…

There's a difference between being antisocial and anti-Facebook. Don't conflate the two.

I don't think not having Facebook is antisocial in that it hinders others, but I think not having one hinders yourself socially (at least at my age - 21).

If people are having a non-formal invite (i.e. not a wedding or a 21st which will usually get a paper invite), the event invites are all done through Facebook. If its a close friend of yours, you'll get a text message anyway, but if it's an acquaintance, you might find yourself without an invite, whereas all your mates do. If you want to go, you have to get them to ask if you can come, sometimes an uncomfortable conversation.

I also find (though I only have a few examples), that those without Facebook like to complain that they're never invited to events yet like to maintain moral superiority over those who do.

Re: Goodbye Facebook

#99

Post by philwelch »

drndown2007 wrote: post #94
philwelch wrote: post #93

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Generally, it covers most of the people who care.

Are you sure? When I login I seem to see 5-10 posts from a list of 100 people (well, admittedly less since I've ignored so many). I you were my friend, how could you know _you_ were in that 5-10 posts that _I_ see -- you don't know how many other friends I have, and how much _they_ have posted.

Thankfully, I don't use Facebook as some kind of guaranteed-delivery broadcast medium.

Re: Goodbye Facebook

#100

Post by TimothyBurgess »

kunjaan wrote: post #32

Does anyone else avoid Facebook because they themselves suck as person? I don't use FB because the activities on it are things I am better off not doing. I felt strange doing anything on it because I felt people were judging me. It was like I had developed this persona of an educated and successful and fun person when I was on it because I hadn't made any new "friends" since beginning grad school and I was so stresse…

It was like high school all over again.

Bingo! I've been feeling this way about facebook for quite a while now. I still check it every day when bored or to take my mind off work for a minute but never more than a minute or two... interaction with facebook has become minimal. It was cool back when I was a freshman in college 5 yrs ago and only other college students were on it.

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