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BLUF: A military standard to make writing more powerful
91–100 of 136 posts
Re: BLUF: A military standard to make writing more powerful
#92Earlier quoted context omitted.
The subject of the verb "to entitle" is that which grants entitlement. The recipient is the object. I think we can legitimately read the sentence as passive. Active; "applicable regulations" are doing something: "Applicable regulations entitle you to jump pay for the time you spent in training last year." Passive; "applicable regulations" are still doing something: "You are entitled by applicable regulations to jump…
https://languagelog.ldc.upenn.edu/nll/?p=3096
Was that the wrong link? I was excited that someone had done the digging in language log to find a post that clarifies (I'd bet there's a few), but that one doesn't seem relevant.
Re: BLUF: A military standard to make writing more powerful
#93Earlier quoted context omitted.
It's not really a passive sentence, even though it has all the attributes the Army apparently deems necessary and sufficient to declare it as such in section e. But a passive sentence is one where the subject is absent - but in this sentence, the subject is 'you'. 'Entitled to jump pay for the time you spent in training last year' is an adjectival phrase. The sentence makes an active statement about the recipient: Yo…
The subject of the verb "to entitle" is that which grants entitlement. The recipient is the object. I think we can legitimately read the sentence as passive. Active; "applicable regulations" are doing something: "Applicable regulations entitle you to jump pay for the time you spent in training last year." Passive; "applicable regulations" are still doing something: "You are entitled by applicable regulations to jump…
Isn't the subject you, the verb "to be" (are) - and the reminder a describing clause?
You run quickly.
You are a good boy.
You are entitled to receive praise.
?
Ed: but "you qualify for pay" might be better active voice here?
Ed2: I see jameshart made a similar point more eloquently about "adjectival phrase"
Re: BLUF: A military standard to make writing more powerful
#94Earlier quoted context omitted.
Trying to make it active requires moving the key information to the end of the sentence: "The time you spent in training last year entitles you to jump pay [for that time]." Although style guides like this one usually advise against using passive voice because it makes things harder to read, clarity should be the goal, not just active voice. This is a good example of a reason you might prefer passive voice: because t…
Perhaps "You deserve jump pay for time spent in training last year"?
You qualify for..?
Re: BLUF: A military standard to make writing more powerful
#95This mode of writing has its strength, unfortunately it also encourages a lazy and low detail mode of communication when applied to places it doesn't belong. I have had the experience of working in an environment with ex-military folks installed in leadership positions, the BLUF style of communication was standard issue. One problem this style of communication has when applied to a non-military work environment is th…
> is that top-down communication ends up taking the form of commands
Another problem is that it’s not suitable for marketing. How are you going to hook the reader if the copy is clear? Same in private life: How do you get loved if you communicate clearly your intentions? That’s what people hate the most! The whole left brain is high on imagination (or emotions fed by imaginated expectations), as are most people, and as an Asperger it is very hard to talk to people on this channel.
I’m serious. Marketing mostly relies on unclear information when needed. Example with the front page of Atlassian: “Atlassian helps teams work smarter and faster, together.” is not BLUF at all. BLUF would be “Atlassian sells an intranet, an issue tracker, a Git repo and a build engine”...
Re: BLUF: A military standard to make writing more powerful
#96I appreciate that the first line of the article says: > BLUF is a military communications acronym—it stands for “bottom line up front”—that’s designed to enforce speed and clarity in reports and emails. ...thus following its own advice. One sentence in and I know what it's talking about.
> One sentence in and I know what it's talking about.
And that's were I stopped reading, because I don't believe there is anything more interesting for me after that inital sentence. For me it's a win, I learned something new in almost no time. Now for the author or publisher it's a win too if they solely want to inform their readers.
If the intention is to keep the readers on the site as long as possible it's completely different though. Good long-form articles that keep the suspense till the end have their place too.
Where it gets muddy, and this is my opinion the majority of blog posts nowadays, is when the authors can't make up their minds. I understand that a lot of authors have a journalistic background or at least some journalistic training, where the "Inverted Pyramid"[1] (which is similar by idea to BLUF) is held in high regards. On the other hand they are pressured by the metrics to keep readers on the site. Add to that the common SEO wisdom that Google loves long pages better than short ones[2] you end up with Chimera articles where one half want's to build suspense and the other is afraid to bury the lede.
[1] https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Inverted_pyramid_(journalism)
[2] I don't know and don't claim it's true.
Re: BLUF: A military standard to make writing more powerful
#97Sadly most sorce code follows the exact opposite convention - starting with legalese, followed by boring initialisation. I wish more source code would come to the point right at the start, and I am thankful for the new acronym BLUF that expresses this concept quite clearly.
Re: BLUF: A military standard to make writing more powerful
#98Sadly most sorce code follows the exact opposite convention - starting with legalese, followed by boring initialisation. I wish more source code would come to the point right at the start, and I am thankful for the new acronym BLUF that expresses this concept quite clearly.
Maybe in languages without declaration hoisting, you could go with BLOB: Bottom Line On Back.
Re: BLUF: A military standard to make writing more powerful
#99Tactics like BLUF are the sad sign of times. We put too much emphasis on hacks, efficiency, and tactics instead of learning and practicing age old rules for good writing or whatever else we need to master.
Re: BLUF: A military standard to make writing more powerful
#100Earlier quoted context omitted.
The subject of the verb "to entitle" is that which grants entitlement. The recipient is the object. I think we can legitimately read the sentence as passive. Active; "applicable regulations" are doing something: "Applicable regulations entitle you to jump pay for the time you spent in training last year." Passive; "applicable regulations" are still doing something: "You are entitled by applicable regulations to jump…
Isn't the subject you, the verb "to be" (are) - and the reminder a describing clause? You run quickly. You are a good boy. You are entitled to receive praise. ? Ed: but "you qualify for pay" might be better active voice here? Ed2: I see jameshart made a similar point more eloquently about "adjectival phrase"
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