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What to Do When a Loved One Is Severely Depressed

nytimes.com

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Re: What to Do When a Loved One Is Severely Depressed

#91

Post by cautionarytale »

Someone1234 wrote: post #31
spdustin wrote: post #9

I feel like this should be left here: Everybody you meet has a secret smile, and a secret pain. If your secret pain feels like a weight you can no longer carry, please talk to someone. Anyone. Lay down your burdens, and give your shoulders a rest. If you're in the US, there's the National Suicide Prevention Hotline: 1-800-273-8255 LGBT folks in the US might also consider The Trevor Project Lifeline: 1-866-488-7386 I…

If you're in the US, you may also wish to think twice before calling the cops on a loved one, particularly if they're only a danger to themselves (and not you or others). Police in the US rarely receive training[0] in dealing with suicidal individuals, and are instead trained to escalate the situation and or use violence for a resolution[1]. There are numerous examples of the police turning up on a suicide call and k…

The slurs against cops, both here and in the original article, seem unwarranted and unfair. There may indeed be numerous such examples, but without an account of the (almost certainly far more) numerous examples of improved outcomes, not much can be said.

As for killing the individual, it's going to happen, especially in cases where the individual is showing a gun or knife. A cop has to win every single gun or knife fight they're ever pressed into, often with no advance warning whatsoever. And they also have a duty to protect innocent bystanders in such a situation. Hard choices have to be made fast. Some will be mistakes. And even good calls will be trashed after the fact.

Calling the cops is always a judgement call. But let the truth and your priors be your guide, not wild, biased anecdata.

Re: What to Do When a Loved One Is Severely Depressed

#92

Post by lazyasciiart »

Alex3917 wrote: post #34
caio1982 wrote: post #5

"Remember, people do recover from depression" That IMHO seems to be as much of a taboo as having depression itself for a lot of people... it's hard to convince someone that depression is seriously real, and equally hard to convince people [affected by their loving one's] depression is not like terminal cancer.

The research seems to show that most people who don't take SSRIs recover from a bout of depression in about two years. If you take SSRIs then you partially recover after a few weeks, but the underlying problem doesn't resolve. https://smile.amazon.com/Anatomy-Epidemic-Bullets-Psychiatri...

That link doesn't seem to show me any research, just a pop-science book for sale?

Re: What to Do When a Loved One Is Severely Depressed

#93

Post by lazyasciiart »

astura wrote: post #87
viburnum wrote: post #74

Good stuff, but I've learned the hard way that most therapists have no idea what they're doing. If someone is not feeling better after 6-8 sessions, they need to get a new therapist. It's all too easy to get into a codependent relationship with a therapist that only enables the depression or anxiety to persist.

I had a therapist that once suggested taking herbs for an non-treatable medical issue and another time antibiotics for a cold. I can't believe I actually paid money to see her.

I had a therapist once who suggested that my anxiety was the product of excessively high expectations, and I would feel better if I stopped expecting colleagues to do things like tell the truth. I quit therapy, and also quit that job. I felt much better after doing both!

Re: What to Do When a Loved One Is Severely Depressed

#94

Post by dkrich »

I was thinking about this this morning and couldn't help but notice the apparent correlation between high profile people who have committed suicide recently and their profiles.

All from arts/creative fields (Avicii, Kate Spade, Bourdain, Robin Williams, Heath Ledger, I'm sure there are more). Is there any scientific research that has explored the possibility that the wiring in the brain that makes people creative has a propensity for depression?

Of course the sample size is small and could be selection bias, but would like to hear from people who are knowledgeable on the topic.

Re: What to Do When a Loved One Is Severely Depressed

#95

Post by Smudge »

dkrich wrote: post #94

I was thinking about this this morning and couldn't help but notice the apparent correlation between high profile people who have committed suicide recently and their profiles. All from arts/creative fields (Avicii, Kate Spade, Bourdain, Robin Williams, Heath Ledger, I'm sure there are more). Is there any scientific research that has explored the possibility that the wiring in the brain that makes people creative has…

Doesn't really answer your questions, but I'd point out that it's possible that we only hear about these suicides precisely _because_ they are from professions that tend to produce high-profile celebrities. I'd counter your apparent correlation with the fact that apparently suicide among doctors is extremely high:

https://www.washingtonpost.com/national/health-science/what-...

Re: What to Do When a Loved One Is Severely Depressed

#96

Post by danieltillett »

dkrich wrote: post #94

I was thinking about this this morning and couldn't help but notice the apparent correlation between high profile people who have committed suicide recently and their profiles. All from arts/creative fields (Avicii, Kate Spade, Bourdain, Robin Williams, Heath Ledger, I'm sure there are more). Is there any scientific research that has explored the possibility that the wiring in the brain that makes people creative has…

Slight nitpick, but Heath Ledger died of an accidental overdose [0].

0. https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Heath_Ledger

Re: What to Do When a Loved One Is Severely Depressed

#97

Post by snissn »

Someone1234 wrote: post #31
spdustin wrote: post #9

I feel like this should be left here: Everybody you meet has a secret smile, and a secret pain. If your secret pain feels like a weight you can no longer carry, please talk to someone. Anyone. Lay down your burdens, and give your shoulders a rest. If you're in the US, there's the National Suicide Prevention Hotline: 1-800-273-8255 LGBT folks in the US might also consider The Trevor Project Lifeline: 1-866-488-7386 I…

If you're in the US, you may also wish to think twice before calling the cops on a loved one, particularly if they're only a danger to themselves (and not you or others). Police in the US rarely receive training[0] in dealing with suicidal individuals, and are instead trained to escalate the situation and or use violence for a resolution[1]. There are numerous examples of the police turning up on a suicide call and k…

I would be thinking really fucking carefully about posting this. If a loved one has a specific plan to commit suicide you need to take that really fucking seriously. Death by cop is so much smaller than suicide rate in the US.

Re: What to Do When a Loved One Is Severely Depressed

#98

Post by motohagiography »

Someone1234 wrote: post #31
spdustin wrote: post #9

I feel like this should be left here: Everybody you meet has a secret smile, and a secret pain. If your secret pain feels like a weight you can no longer carry, please talk to someone. Anyone. Lay down your burdens, and give your shoulders a rest. If you're in the US, there's the National Suicide Prevention Hotline: 1-800-273-8255 LGBT folks in the US might also consider The Trevor Project Lifeline: 1-866-488-7386 I…

If you're in the US, you may also wish to think twice before calling the cops on a loved one, particularly if they're only a danger to themselves (and not you or others). Police in the US rarely receive training[0] in dealing with suicidal individuals, and are instead trained to escalate the situation and or use violence for a resolution[1]. There are numerous examples of the police turning up on a suicide call and k…

It is important to take your mental health seriously before it reaches crisis points. By crisis, I mean where other people make choices for you as a result of your forfeit of authority in the situation.

There was a situation in Canada where police incident reports were shared with the U.S. border authorities under a law enforcement information sharing agreement, and a few people were denied entrance to the U.S. as a result of historic crisis encounters with police. Cops aren't bad, but institutions can be callous. Similarly, the record of a mental health crisis (or failing to disclose it) can have an impact on certain kinds of insurance, security clearances, (as above) travel, custody agreements, and by extension, jobs.

Learn to stay mentally healthy, and realize that it is an investment you make, often at the cost of other immediate things, which pays off as the result of sound decisions compounded over years.

Re: What to Do When a Loved One Is Severely Depressed

#99

Post by RobertDeNiro »

idbehold wrote: post #35
RobertDeNiro wrote: post #26

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Suicide hotlines are pretty ineffective as far as suicide prevention goes.

Do you know of something more effective for the same cost?

Posting an anonymous comment on Reddit? I don't know, at this point anything is as effective as that. I'm just tired of seeing these hotline numbers shared across all forms of media as if they were the solution to everything. Real therapy, as far as I know, is the only effective solution. There's no low cost solution other than maybe trying to form deeper relationships with the people around you.

Re: What to Do When a Loved One Is Severely Depressed

#100

Post by slx26 »

this is a very sensible article. kudos to nytimes and the writer. we also need this kind of advice on tv, schools, etc. a better general understanding of depression by society as a whole is not only one of the best tools we have to deal with it, but also a great way to start building a better society
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