Married to someone with anxiety

>She still has anxiety, and I imagine she always will.

Wouldn't it be strange for a human being to have no anxiety ?

>we found a private counsellor who could help get to the route of what was causing some of this anxiety 

I understood this as the counsellor putting a rubber stamp on what they already knew, so that the decision could be made guilt free.

> Start walking, at least 8km during weekdays day, in brisk pace, you should have to take a shower after. After each walk, do a workout, pushups, chins etc. Make this a priority, and dont walk when its dark outside, you need the sunlight.

That's over 90 minutes walking every weekday plus time for the workout and clean-up after. Difficult to make time for and rather unpleasant in rain, bitter cold, and/or snow. There's currently 9 1/2 hours of daylight per day here, pretty hard to work full-time, commute, and devote this much time to exercise during the day.

Social anxiety seems to be really common for anxious people. I'm quite anxious, but I have no social anxiety. I have medical anxiety, like hypochondria. I was able to fix this by being really logical about it. Ie. if I was anxious I was having a stroke or something I would list the symptoms (fainting, paralysis, blurred vision, extreme nausea etc.) and tick off the ones I had (I invariably didnt have any of them, so I determined I was fine)

I overcame Bipolar Spectrum disorder. This article, and many others like it, get many things right. Each person is different, and it took me many, many years to get the right help and many, many different approaches.

I'd like to add another aspect to this discussion that might be misunderstood, but I'll say it anyway because there are likely others that were in the same situation I was. I attended a church back in my 20's that turned out to be a horrible environment for me. Churches are not all the same. They are multifaceted, not monolithic. I was at this church for 10 years, and the environment was very emotional. They even had services on Wednesday nights because of the hype and emotion.

When I became sick, I had pastors pray for me and ask God for healing. When the months went by and I was not getting better, the not-so-subtle message was "there must be sin in your life" or that I needed deliverance from some sort of demonic influence. People stopped visiting. I felt like a social leper. It was one of the darkest points in my life.

After 7 months of suffering crushing depression, daily anxiety and frequent panic attacks, I was reduced to working a part-time job and eating only sandwiches from the gas station next door because I didn't want to be out in public. I could share the remainder of the story, but the point I want to make is I got through it.

There are many, many communities of faith out there. Some are fantastic and very understanding of mental health issues. Others are toxic and horrible. If you're in a similar situation, I just want to let you know three things: 1) There is hope 2) Don't give up 3) If you need to make a change (church, family, friends, etc) do it.

There are many wonderful, loving people in the world who really do care and REALLY DO understand what you are going through. You really are not alone. I know how it feels to think you're the only one going through what you are going through, but the truth is you are not. I still remember being in my first mental health group of about 10 people and hearing people share their stories. What a relief it was to know I was not alone! Some of the biggest laughs I've had in my life have been with other "crazy" people, because we all know how hard mental illness can be, and how wonderful life can be when things are simply normal without all the drama.

I'm now married over 16 years, with two children and two very spoiled pugs. I've also been attending a great church for the last 6 years that is more balanced, without all the ups and downs emotionally. I've shared my story many times about overcoming a serious mental illness and will continue to do so. Mental illness is more cruel than most people will ever realize, so if you suspect you have something or know you get help, and surround yourself with positive, encouraging people.

I commend you for helping your wife with social functions. I am often extremely shy and socially inept and I think it would help me a lot if somebody took me by the hand and helped me through those situations. Most people have no sympathy for this problem "Just go out there and have fun" is really bad advice.