"This impacts all contracts on Ethereum, not just the DAO. This is an issue with Ethereum’s JavaScript-like programming language (Solidity)." No it doesn't, no it's not. It affects contracts that use this functionality with arbitrary untrusted contracts (which is a bad idea), and most contracts just don't use this functionality at all.
Yeah, all this shadenfreude from people who (wrongly) predicted ethereum would never work, and who want to feel vindicated, is predictable but frustrating.
When I discovered ethereum a couple of years ago I thought it was a good idea. Partly because I was turning similar ideas in my head at the time.
But what I read now sounds like amateurs designed & implemented it. Sorry.