Hacker News Board Hacker News, browsed like a classic message board
Live data from Hacker News

Cousins are disappearing. Is this reshaping the experience of childhood?

cbc.ca

Post reply on HN
Print view View original

871–880 of 1001 posts

Re: Cousins are disappearing. Is this reshaping the experience of childhood?

#871

Post by bongodongobob »

dang wrote: post #864
bongodongobob wrote: post #75

You're baffled people aren't having kids? What bubble do you live in? People straight up can't afford housing much less children. The avg American is completely priced out of owning a home right now. Edit: the replies - y'all are out of touch. Visit an average family in the Midwest with a household income of < $100k/yr that doesn't own a home yet.

Please don't start flamewars on HN. This was a doozy. If you wouldn't mind reviewing https://news.ycombinator.com/newsguidelines.html and taking the intended spirit of the site more to heart, we'd be grateful. We detached this subthread from https://news.ycombinator.com/item?id=39341055 .

I can't help how others respond. No flame war intended.

Re: Cousins are disappearing. Is this reshaping the experience of childhood?

#872

Post by silisili »

TheCapeGreek wrote: post #602
silisili wrote: post #397

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Yes they can. People are just too selfish and think of kids as costing lattes and ruining their free time. Believe it or not, kids don't have to be expensive as reports have you believe. They can go to public school, wear hand me downs or walmart clothes, and eat what would have been leftovers. Most coworkers with kids I've spoken with complain about costs of daycare, babysitting, and Montessori schools. We pay for n…

You've addressed everything except the free time aspect. For many, having free time replaced by family time with their kids is great and all they need/want. "Selfishly" from the outside perspective, it makes all my friends with kids flakey, late, and one-track. It takes a huge effort not only to avoid the consumerism side of children, but also to try and maintain your individuality. The most successful parents I know…

Free time I guess is a big one. If you value the 'hanging with the boys', clubbing, or really any solo activity it certainly would be a shock. By the time mine came along, I was done with most of that anyways I guess. But my own free time - watching TV, playing games, reading books, or just scrolling on my phone, was largely replaced with building legos, having nerf gun fights, playing board games, etc. One 'hidden' benefit is that you get to be a kid again without seeming weird, and kids toys todays are so much cooler.

I do think 'selfish' was too broad and strong of a claim. I was focusing solely on the thought of people who make way more than enough money claiming a child would ruin their lifestyle/break them. In reality, there are tons of other reasons a person may not want a child that aren't selfish at all.

Re: Cousins are disappearing. Is this reshaping the experience of childhood?

#873

Post by Gormo »

swozey wrote: post #767
monero-xmr wrote: post #744

Earlier quoted context omitted.

You can't disagree with statistics. You are living a very unique lifestyle, that is highly paid in HCOL areas with high standards for housing. That is not the norm whatsoever.

All statistics have absolutely correct data and fundamentally sound designs, right? That's literally the entire argument going on in this conversation you've hopped on. How these statistics are being misconstrued or not. I moved into programming from bartending after dropping out of school. I am absolutely not ignorant to the lifestyles of all of my friends who aren't engineers. In fact it's the polar opposite. I am…

It's certainly possible that there are errors in the data, but if you suspect that to be the case, the proper argument would be to identify those errors so they can be mitigated, not to dismiss the data in favor of anecdotes, especially anecdotes that may represent outliers.

Re: Cousins are disappearing. Is this reshaping the experience of childhood?

#874

Post by TurkishPoptart »

xyzelement wrote: post #116
silverquiet wrote: post #28

Earlier quoted context omitted.

> It baffles me. Frankly, I never really got why people wanted children in the first place, so this turnabout is amusing. Perhaps you can ask some of these people that you are close with as to their reasoning.

It's the simplest answer. I find life to be worth living, I am grateful I have life and it's the most meaningful to me to be able to give life to someone else and try to make it as good and meaningful for them as possible. And it can be so fun. I just taught my 3 year old to ride a bike and for the first time today we went for a bike ride along the boardwalk, each on our bikes. I had a pretty amazing single life but…

Exactly this. I hope to have kids because I'm so grateful for all that has been given to me, and I want to share it and pass it all on.

Re: Cousins are disappearing. Is this reshaping the experience of childhood?

#875

Post by Spacecosmonaut »

mensetmanusman wrote: post #866
lumost wrote: post #725

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Presuming that wealth and education are increasing in the general population - wouldn't this pose a problem for the future?

Demographic collapse will bring poverty allowing for the continuation of humanity.

I doubt it will. Infact, I would be willing to bet good money that china is going to start factory farming the next generation within the next 20 years, using artificial wombs & in vitro fertilization.

Re: Cousins are disappearing. Is this reshaping the experience of childhood?

#876

Post by nemo44x »

baq wrote: post #805
2024throwaway wrote: post #711

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Currently changing diapers and feeding every 3 hours through the night. It’s work.

+1 on work. It isn't hard as in you don't have to be very qualified to do it. It is hard in that it's physically (sometimes) and mentally (always) exhausting. And yet you're expected to pay for it yourself and spent your free time for it. Parents should be paid to be parents.

> Parents should be paid to be parents.

A parent is wealthy beyond money. Besides, we get tax breaks and if you're not a decent earner you get free things for being a parent.

And I guess when I say it's not that hard - what I mean is that yeah there's effort involved, often time a lot. But it is made out to be this impossible thing. It's not. You figure it out and before you know it the really hard days are over.

So yeah it's work but that shouldn't dissuade anyone from having kids. Anything good takes effort.

Re: Cousins are disappearing. Is this reshaping the experience of childhood?

#877

Post by nemo44x »

2024throwaway wrote: post #711
nemo44x wrote: post #701

Earlier quoted context omitted.

> Raising kids is hard work. It's really not that hard. You just have to change expectations and lifestyle. I never thought of it as "work" per-se but rather an obligation and responsibility to people brought into the world. It's amazing really. It's probably not for everyone and if someone sees it the same way as doing actual work then maybe it isn't for them.

Currently changing diapers and feeding every 3 hours through the night. It’s work.

It doesn't last that long. Been there, done that. But yeah it's work, of course it is. What I'm saying is it isn't as difficult as it is made out to be - that is it's made out to be this impossible thing. But yeah they break your back sometimes and emotionally it can be daunting. But those very difficult early days end pretty fast.

What we did is mom pumped and put milk in bottles. She's go to be at like 7PM after a feeding off the tap and I'd take over and stay up until 2 or 3 to feed baby and change diapers every 2 or so hours. Then she'd be back at it in the early morning hours.

It only lasts a bit.

Re: Cousins are disappearing. Is this reshaping the experience of childhood?

#878

Post by RankingMember »

metricspaces wrote: post #660
Yizahi wrote: post #557

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Are atheists only "militant" in your point of view? As an atheist I can say that the only way for me to believe in gods is to simply fake it. This believing "at will" is rather interesting concept, but I honestly can't comprehend it.

It’s like love. You fall in love, you fall in love with God. The rest is just garbled mumbling to yourself and others. And like love, it is your experience of it and your view of your beloved that matters, who cares what others think. This is how it is with actual belief. You experience something that shatters the illusion. Once that happens, you belong to God bothered people. And yes, those who have never experience…

> otherwise they’d bottle that chemical process and make a zillion selling it.

Oh they do- ask anyone in recovery from opioids.

Re: Cousins are disappearing. Is this reshaping the experience of childhood?

#879

Post by RankingMember »

pinkmuffinere wrote: post #766
shepherdjerred wrote: post #357

Earlier quoted context omitted.

> I do wonder what I’d say if/when people question the fervor of my belief though, if I truly converted just for a community with larger families. I imagine “I believe in big families” wouldn’t cut it. There's nothing wrong with that. Nobody should have a problem with you wanting to be a part of a church community, even if you aren't a "real" believer.

> Nobody should have a problem with you wanting to be a part of a church community, even if you aren't a "real" believer. I really appreciate this view, but certainly some people do have a problem with it. I think it would be especially awkward if you spend a significant amount of your life there, raise kids, etc, but never claim the religion is true. It almost sounds like a cringe-comedy movie

> cringe-comedy movie

Church Crashers

Re: Cousins are disappearing. Is this reshaping the experience of childhood?

#880

Post by RankingMember »

zild3d wrote: post #695
LoganDark wrote: post #30

I wish the world weren't so bad that potential parents don't want to bring new lives into it... honestly, if I were a mother considering whether to have a child, I wouldn't want them to have to grow up in this terrible day and age. They'd end up more traumatized than I am. I wouldn't be able to live with myself.

> I wouldn't want them to have to grow up in this terrible day and age. Today is very clearly the best time to be born, so much so that I'd argue if you could choose to have kids in an older time period or today, it's borderline abusive to choose the past. Medicine/immunization, child mortality rates, human rights, ... https://www.thendobetter.com/investing/2018/6/7/the-best-tim...

Both could be considered abusive depending on your perspective
Post reply on HN