The majority of 18- to 29-year-olds in the US are now living with their parents • Hacker News Board

Re: The majority of 18- to 29-year-olds in the US are now living with their parents

#841

Post by throwaway0a5e » Thu, Sep 17, 2020, 1:14 AM UTC

war1025 wrote: post #195

srtjstjsj wrote: post #140

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Are people in the Middle/South getting jobs?

I live in Iowa. At least in my peer group people seem to be doing pretty well. From my perspective here, Millennials aren't having any harder of a time integrating into society than anyone before them did.

Same here. The rust belt cities across the northeast and stretching into the Midwest don't seem to be doing that bad either.

I see the "jobs in places not SF or NYC" situation as kind of like how the people who spend MSRP minus $2k for a 5yo 4Runner feel the need to loudly proclaim how everything else is crap because they have this massive sunk cost they need to justify to themselves. All I know is my car starts every morning and I'm not making payments on it.

Re: The majority of 18- to 29-year-olds in the US are now living with their parents

#842

Post by danlugo92 » Thu, Sep 17, 2020, 1:15 AM UTC

colinmhayes wrote: post #776

tchaffee wrote: post #736

I remember our family of five children, two cars, pool (but above ground), most vacations were camping but we did make it to Disney World. We had lots of nice stuff as kids, but it was solidly middle class. My mother stayed home while my father worked an eight hour day as an engineer at the local factory. He never worked overtime or weekends. All this with a bachelor's degree. My mother eventually went back to work s…

I wouldn't say it's a con. In the end capital has bargaining power over labor because labor works for capital. Labor needs to organize very hard to take back control and that's difficult when everyone is scared they'll lose their job. Capital is able to make unilateral decisions because it's usually controlled by single/very focused and competent entity.

> is scared they'll lose their job

I wonder how much is this due to person-level decisions such as poor life/financial planning and inherited low socio-economic class.

Re: The majority of 18- to 29-year-olds in the US are now living with their parents

#843

Post by georgeecollins » Thu, Sep 17, 2020, 1:16 AM UTC

kelnos wrote: post #553

munificent wrote: post #464

I really love the quote at the end: > I'm a dad who is happy to have his daughter and fiancé living with me. They pay the utilities and make me nice meals, and it makes it a lot less lonely here. ... I like the multi-generational thing. I know it won't last forever, but it makes life better for now. It's so easy to get into that cold statistical mindset about these large-scale trends, but it's good to remember that t…

It's also useful to note that the "nuclear family" is a very Western thing, and the US takes it to an extreme. In other parts of the world it's abnormal for adults in their 20s to be living anywhere but with their parents, often even with a fiance or new spouse in the mix. The idea that having a multi-generational household means that the younger members haven't "grown up" and need to "learn to live on their own" is…

In the US it was also a consequence of affluence and lots of living space. A lot of social progress comes when a new generation doesn't have to live within the expectations of the previous generation. The parts of the US where there is a lot of wealth creation are the parts of the US where a lot of young people move to.

So, without making any judgements about how people want to live their lives, I think it is a negative for the US that more young people are living at home.

Re: The majority of 18- to 29-year-olds in the US are now living with their parents

#844

Post by treis » Thu, Sep 17, 2020, 1:18 AM UTC

TuringNYC wrote: post #243

wernercd wrote: post #173

Earlier quoted context omitted.

My problem with "life" is all the... nickle and dimes... $10 for Nextflix, $90 for Amazon, etc. On top of Gas, Electric, Phone, Internet, Car, Insurance, Gas, etc. It's easy to watch the money flow in... and right back out.

This is the "Avocado Toast" argument that we're poor because we spend $10 on Avocado Toast. It is totally false. It blames citizens for national structural economic problems like hidden inflation and like bad housing policies discouraging building/planning. People spend $10 for Nextflix, $90 for Amazon, etc as short term pleasures because they cant spend $GIANT on a mortgage. What are you supposed to do? Might as wel…

>It is totally false.

It's false for some locations but not for others. I checked on the two homes I lived in growing up and both appreciated slower than inflation from the late 90s to the early 2010s when they were last sold. In real terms they are about 20% cheaper than they were when my parents bought/sold them.

Flyover suburbia is more affordable than it was 20-30 years ago. All major physical items are better and cheaper than they used to be. Netflix is cheaper and better than VCRs + rentals + expensive cable. The big difference is health care and college costs. But most people don't have huge medical bills and college is somewhat of a choice.

The cost of living increase is largely driven by California, NYC, and Seattle. Pretty much every where else things are cheaper than they used to be.

Re: The majority of 18- to 29-year-olds in the US are now living with their parents

#845

Post by anonu » Thu, Sep 17, 2020, 1:22 AM UTC

> Those living arrangements can come with a great deal of awkwardness and pain

Says who? Random article by random author? Why sensationalize something so commonplace and banal?

Re: The majority of 18- to 29-year-olds in the US are now living with their parents

#846

Post by donw » Thu, Sep 17, 2020, 1:23 AM UTC

hosh wrote: post #800

tuna-piano wrote: post #632

Earlier quoted context omitted.

While it's true this seems like a strong US thing, I haven't heard many happy long-term stories of folks living intergenerationally. In my experience (talking to people from a variety of countries), most couples in their 20s/30s want their own place (even in the countries where it's not common). It seems it can even lead to happier intergenerational relationships when the roomate-type fights don't need to happen. It…

Some thoughts about that: 1. In the US, zoning laws discourage building things like the "mother in-law suite". These zoning laws were originally created as a way to get around federal laws prohibiting discrimination of race and sex by making it more difficult for people who can't afford housing to live within a certain neighborhood. Even if US residents wanted to add housing for some semblance of independence, zoning…

> 6. If your sense of self-worth and purpose is derived from making meaningful contributions to the family, community, and society, you're no longer pidgeonholed into the role of being a child. As such, I think a lot of the tensions and inter-generational drama we expect from adult children living with their parents is no longer there.

This times ten to a very meaningful exponent.

A large number of factors in society have combined against children being able to gradually assume the mantle of adulthood, gradually assuming responsibility and making greater and greater contributions to society as they grow.

It is obvious that this is in no way culturally sustainable.

Re: The majority of 18- to 29-year-olds in the US are now living with their parents

#847

Post by x87678r » Thu, Sep 17, 2020, 1:32 AM UTC

ChrisLomont wrote: post #826

x87678r wrote: post #598

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Interesting, I've never seen that stat before. one problem is that inflation is a lot lower than before. If you borrowed a house in the 70s/80s you'd pay less each month but after 10 years that payment would be negligible, where now it still takes a big chunk out of your pay.

But in the 70s/80s mortgage rates were ~15%, compared to ~ 3% today. So you still spent a significant amount of money on a mortgage.

Yes but as above even with high rates the payment was lower.

Re: The majority of 18- to 29-year-olds in the US are now living with their parents

#848

Post by akdas » Thu, Sep 17, 2020, 1:33 AM UTC

lotsofpulp wrote: post #732

tuna-piano wrote: post #632

Earlier quoted context omitted.

While it's true this seems like a strong US thing, I haven't heard many happy long-term stories of folks living intergenerationally. In my experience (talking to people from a variety of countries), most couples in their 20s/30s want their own place (even in the countries where it's not common). It seems it can even lead to happier intergenerational relationships when the roomate-type fights don't need to happen. It…

This matches my experience that children of immigrants from intergenerational living cultures choose to live separate from parents if they can afford it. No one makes compromises unless they have to, and unless you have a big soundproof house, two or more couples living together are going to bump into each other. I see older parents moving back in with kids due to declining health, but otherwise the consensus seems t…

Not saying that fitting people into a small space isn't hard.

However, children of immigrants are especially keen to assimilate into the receiving culture, so much so that they often go beyond what natives do. For immigrants and their children, a clash of cultural values may be a larger driving factor than what's the natural for people in general.

Re: The majority of 18- to 29-year-olds in the US are now living with their parents

#849

Post by tharkun___ » Thu, Sep 17, 2020, 1:37 AM UTC

fakedang wrote: post #781

tuna-piano wrote: post #632

Earlier quoted context omitted.

While it's true this seems like a strong US thing, I haven't heard many happy long-term stories of folks living intergenerationally. In my experience (talking to people from a variety of countries), most couples in their 20s/30s want their own place (even in the countries where it's not common). It seems it can even lead to happier intergenerational relationships when the roomate-type fights don't need to happen. It…

I would agree on one point and disagree on the other actually. On the first point, from what I've seen, there is certainly a lot of conflict if intergenerational couples stay together under the same roof for prolonged periods of time, whether it's the parents living with the kids or the other way around. For short periods of time, it definitely works out positively. I would argue that it's less because of wealth or e…

It's not even necessarily a Europe thing. Or Asian. Though yes there are these tendencies. Italians, even in the US (North America actually) from my experience tend to stick together as a family unit for a long time. There's a lot of pressure on the young folks as well in some cases I know. Every situation is different in its own subtle way but I can definitely see how necessity (money) has made it so that kids stay with their parents until they're married. Catholicism will play a role too. Seeing that in many Spanish friends as well. Both the money and religious aspects. Germans too. I have a good childhood friend (yep I grew up there) who was always very close to his mum and built his house right next to his parents house for money reasons (free land so more money for the house). They are just constantly fighting over this or that. His SO really hates it now. I never understood why they did that. Sure, be in the same city, maybe even same neighborhood but right next to the parents especially after marriage? You're crazy! Same household? Way beyond crazy!

Personally I have healthy 6000km between myself and the parents. To be honest something like the 300km we had a some point is nicer and for taking care if the kids from time to time something like a few kilometers is best but same houseld is just stupid and I have yet to meet someone (even Asians) that will willingly do that for longer than necessary if they can help it. If they do it, it's for one of the reasons stated above like a Vietnamese colleague who did move back in with her mum for like a half year while trying to find a new place. They're close but same household is just way too close.

Re: The majority of 18- to 29-year-olds in the US are now living with their parents

#850

Post by Retric » Thu, Sep 17, 2020, 2:03 AM UTC

nostrademons wrote: post #811

Retric wrote: post #351

Earlier quoted context omitted.

The US also saw a short term boom after WWI just look at the 20’s. That doesn’t explain why the boom continued for so long after WWII. Also, the green revolution was more a global phenomenon, the US saw significant agricultural productivity growth in the 1940’s from increased mechanization and fertilizer usage. For comparison I would suggest you look at how common and large US recessions where from 1800-1900. https:/…

The 1920s boom was partially global - the U.S, France, and Great Britain boomed, along with non-belligerents like Venezuela. Weimar Germany had one of the worst economic collapses in history. Additionally, the Ottoman, Austro-Hungarian, and Russian empires disintegrated, with widespread hardship (revolutions, civil war, economic problems) occurring during the early 20s and then subsequent trajectories defined by how…

I agree that the US experienced a war related boom after WWI and WWII. I am simply saying the boom lasted as long as it did in large part from the green revolution. This didn’t just mean increased prosperity at home, but a continued stream of new markets opening up. China’s boom for example was delayed due to internal politics, but that just extended the same long term trend for even longer.

The boomer generation wasn’t shaped by a few good years, it was shaped by a lifetime of prosperity which is extremely unusual in historic terms. IT technology played a major role, but looking at the industrial revolution for comparison you find plenty of crashes even during a period of rapid growth.