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Female Founder Secrets: Men Clamming Up

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Re: Female Founder Secrets: Men Clamming Up

#801

Post by drieddust »

0_____0 wrote: post #592
scarmig wrote: post #548

A female founder acquaintance of mine (who's quite smart and capable) went on a Twitter screed a couple weeks ago. As it turns out, someone else had copied her idea, and her startup now had a competitor. The competitor was also able to raise a solid amount of money despite her being first to market and her having more relevant knowledge of the problem space (by her own estimation). So, this scenario isn't exactly unc…

I remember some comedian pointing out, racism (sexism in this case) drives people crazy. Because it's subtle. Very rarely are people nowadays blatantly racist/sexist, because they get called out for it. But imagine that every time you have an 'off' experience with someone, you end up wondering whether your race or sex had something to do with it. It only takes a couple instances of finding out that that 'off' feeling…

My advise as someone who has experienced this in many parts of the world including my own Country. Most people are subtle about it and I beilve it is their mental shortcut to gaining the upper hand in a negotiation. They are not doing it because they think they are truly superiors. So instead thinking world is unfair (racists, sexist etc.), I try to respond appropriately and in the moment.

Current crisis is a direct result of people attributing too much meaning to simple negotiation tactics.

Re: Female Founder Secrets: Men Clamming Up

#802

Post by csours »

ErikVandeWater wrote: post #789
csours wrote: post #349

This reminds me of Theranos and Elizabeth Holmes. I have to wonder how she may have received criticism of her ideas if there was a baseline of equality of ideas from men and women. Basically, to over-simplify severely, instead of taking criticism as a way to improve, she took it as an attack, which I think was part of what made Theranos insular, overprotective. It would be a bridge too far to link it to the cheating.

I think that's too speculative. I haven't heard her publicly talk about sexism in a way that would make me think that's how she views the world.

I don't have a reference for you right now, but I'm pretty sure I read something like that in 'Bad Blood'

Re: Female Founder Secrets: Men Clamming Up

#803

Post by protomyth »

quicklime wrote: post #563
dageshi wrote: post #8

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Genuine question, if you were a man in that situation, what would you do?

For that particular situation, I'd stay silent. I agree there's a risk, and that this is a problem. Longer term though, I'd make sure we hire female investors into my VC fund. I'd take them along the journey of investing with this startup, and if I felt a female CEO needed to be replaced with a man, I'd discuss this with my investment partners. Any harsh feedback, if given, would be coming from all of us, and a mixed…

Any harsh feedback, if given, would be coming from all of us, and a mixed panel would be harder to accuse of sexism.

Nope, a hostile founder/CEO will pick the men out of the panel and sick the mob on them. The women on the panel are either oppressed or anti-feminism. The mob doesn't care and won't hear the whole story.

Re: Female Founder Secrets: Men Clamming Up

#804

Post by Khaine »

soared wrote: post #697
sneak wrote: post #507

Earlier quoted context omitted.

A lot of Americans of any gender would be put off by a lot of very routine and candid professional communications that happen in Germany. I find American English in general to be tending toward the near universal avoidance of direct speech and statements, independent of speaker/listener identity. Importantly the speaker and listener are not consciously aware of this happening. The net result is that you can say liter…

Very interesting to read. I wonder if some of this is due to neutral statements in English tending to carry a negative connotation. If I say "I want to come over tomorrow but I'm not sure if I can make it" - that actually means "I do not want to come over tomorrow". You /can't/ communicate without euphemisms, and trying to will always fail and make you seem like a dick even though you're just being straightforward. T…

No, its cultural. Australians and Brits don't suffer from the same over-the-top positivity for positivity sake

Re: Female Founder Secrets: Men Clamming Up

#805

Post by raducu »

random5634 wrote: post #460

Female founder friend (non tech space) was in a female focused incubator / competition. She got only one set of somewhat critical feedback - ie, lacks experience in X and Y which are key in product space Z. She posted a comment on her social media focusing on this feedback as "criticism" that came from a sexist guy "of course". It was pretty easy to draw the line to the three panelists, one of whom was a guy. Ouch. I…

This reminds me of a previous workplace.

An otherwise cool female coleague kept making claims people were misogynistic, at first I thought she was joking or that she did have some claim, because someone made an unintentional mysoginistic joke.

Then I left the company, and I talked with an ez coleague who was promoted as a team lead.

The guy was into some new age stuff, about helping everyone, and she was slaking/not interested; the higher ups wanted to fire her.

Not my friend, he really believed in her.

When it was clear she was about to be fired, she complained about him to the HR, that he's sexist and all that.

That guy was the least sexist guy I've ever met and the only one caring for her.

Re: Female Founder Secrets: Men Clamming Up

#806

Post by fastball »

robbmorganf wrote: post #740
fastball wrote: post #728

Earlier quoted context omitted.

As a counter-point, I've known people that would take this as condescending right off the bat, so YMMV.

Are they more receptive to feedback when you just launch straight into it? Or is there something different that you do to prime them to be receptive?

As in it doesn't get that far. I've literally seen men say "would you mind if I give you some feedback" and that was received as a condescending thing to ask someone.

This is of course anecdotal, so I'm not trying to paint anyone with a broad brush. Just wanted to point out that in my experience, asking if you can give feedback/advice/etc isn't always well-received. I can't imagine unsolicited feedback would've been any better received in those situations.

Re: Female Founder Secrets: Men Clamming Up

#807

Post by jhanschoo »

I see this as something that can be partly alleviated, e.g. by some of the suggestions raised by the other comments, but fundamentally unavoidable until sexism is no longer rampant. Because real sexists are so present, you can't really know if someone saying something a sexist would say is speaking from prejudice or clear judgment, not until you get to know them better.

Re: Female Founder Secrets: Men Clamming Up

#808

Post by deanCommie »

dang wrote: post #487
2OEH8eoCRo0 wrote: post #75

>I don’t think most female founders even realize that they’re getting different advice than their male counterparts. Silicon Valley has always run on candor, but it’s being stifled at the moment, and no one is noticing that we are the collateral damage. Imagine what it's like being the intended target and not just "collateral damage". It's not a problem that men are nervous to be candid but it's a problem that women…

Please don't take HN threads further into gender flamewar. https://news.ycombinator.com/newsguidelines.html

THIS is the comment you deemed taking the thread into a gender flamewar?

Not the dozens of other posts throughout this thread of people making unequivocal statements about how A) one cannot speak to women or minorities anymore without being accused of discrimination, B) how "every" (or some variation of that summary) minority/woman are hurting their cause with constant insistence of discrimination?

Dang, just because someone is civil, does not mean they are logical. Just because they are logical, doesn't mean they are correct.

There are folks all throughout this thread right now that are making broad general summaries of misogynistic and racist talking points, but you are not warning ANY of htem.

Re: Female Founder Secrets: Men Clamming Up

#810

Post by spoonjim »

Important to understand that the fear of a false accusation does not actually depend on false accusations actually existing. People can imagine an accusation being leveled at them, falsely or truly, without observing any “prior art.”
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