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Start doing more things alone

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Re: Start doing more things alone

#81

Post by Gustomaximus »

meric wrote: post #52
startupfounder wrote: post #29

I would extend this and say start doing more things alone without technology. It's about building trust with yourself, believing in you to be able to not only survive any situation, but to thrive. We use people and technology as a social crutch and it limits our understanding of ourselves. I hitchhiked throughout New Zealand by myself when I was 18 for 6 months and although it was a little uncomfortable and even scar…

I don't know how to camp or maintain a fire. Would you still recommend it?

For a first timer, going with people is preferable, not just for safety but they can show you how to camp comfortably. Solo for a beginner would be fine if carefully planned. Head somewhere with popular/easy to follow trails, comfortable weather and reasonably close to civilisation to mitigate risk. Camping can be such a valuable experience, though it's only fair to say some people hate the roughing it side of things.

I noticed you've posted an SMH link. If you're in the Sydney area I'd be happy to take you out. I really enjoy introducing people to the outdoors. I'm an infrequent camper these days but still head out a few times a year.

Re: Start doing more things alone

#82

Post by Sideloader »

bbcbasic wrote: post #70
Quizz wrote: post #2

Researchers have nothing better to do than explore the harmless neuroses of the middle class?

Then everything on HN caters to the neuroses of the middle class. You got food 'n' shelter, what more do you want? Why you interested in Rust or Elon Musk?

Everybody wants to be Elon Musk but the way post-industrial unregulated capitalism works leads to a handful of Musks and their corporate entities controlling, well, pretty much everything, and fierce competition among the masses for scarce resources. AKA feudalism.

The era of the middle-class was a blip on the historical radar. Feudalism ruled supreme for thousands of years and couldn't be clearer that we are currently backsliding into an era of "digital feudalism".

It's not like Google, to name the obvious example, is really hiding their intentions. Larry Page just a few weeks ago said he thinks government is becoming more irrelevant and "outdated" and nobody even blinked. Well who's going to replace the outdated dinosaur government? The writing is on the wall. Anyone who seriously believes in the pipe dream of a libertarian utopia is a deluded fool. The innocently named "Internet of Things" is bringing the big SV players into every corner of every home and it's not about controlling your toaster with a smartphone, but it most certainly is about control. How exactly things will play out is impossible to predict - I mean a 2010 podcast of academics and students discussing Facebook Twitter and MySpace sounds quaint and old-fashioned - but history shows what happens when power is concentrated in a few hands. And the USSR was supposed to be a Utopia too...

Personally I quite enjoy living in tumultuous times but it's worth remembering the Chinese saying "may you live in interesting times" was used as a curse ;-) Don't be evil, now!

Re: Start doing more things alone

#83

Post by ericdykstra »

I just moved to a new city a few weeks ago and have started going to music shows weekly. Shared experience is a great way to connect with new people, not just enjoy something together with friends. I just met a new friend yesterday, and have had nice conversations and interactions with a number of other people that either turn into just a nice one-time experience or a potential friendship.

Sporting events and music shows are, I've found over the years, great things to go alone to. It might be a bit intimidating to start talking to a group of people, but approaching someone who's by themselves (or even a small group) can lead to a nice conversation or potentially something more lasting.

Re: Start doing more things alone

#84

Post by craigds »

throwaway183839 wrote: post #51
fredsted wrote: post #28

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Leave your jacket :-)

Kind of off topic, but your comment reminded me of something that I've wondered about for a couple of months. I was in the US (NYC) last year and went to a music event at a bar. My girlfriend and I were there an hour early, so we grabbed a table of four near the front (we were meeting two other friends). When our friends arrived and sat down, we noticed that someone had left a jacket on one of the chairs at our table…

Probably cultural. Where I'm from (NZ) chairs sorta belong to the table; you wouldn't take a chair from a table or hang your jacket on it if there's someone else sitting there, at least not without asking first.

I had a similar experience in a food court in Bangkok. My wife and I bought our food and sat down at a table that had some bagged food on it (since there weren't any clean tables available). Assuming it was someone's leftovers that they neglected to trash, we just moved the food to the side since there wasn't a rubbish bin nearby.

A few minutes later someone came up and angrily told us that was his table and it was his food, and he demanded we find another table.

Really confused but not yet learning our lesson we moved to another table and moved some more food aside. Another man yelled at us, this time even angrier.

Seems it's pretty common for people to buy one thing, take it to the nearest empty table to 'reserve' it, and go elsewhere and get more food.

I guess when you're in someone else's country you just have to realise that you probably are the asshole and apologise, even though it doesn't make much sense :S

Re: Start doing more things alone

#85

Post by misiti3780 »

dopeboy wrote: post #77
misiti3780 wrote: post #73

I go out in NYC alone all the time, on weekends, for fun - Mostly I do it because my friends are doctors and cant go out because they are on call - I wish I would have realized much sooner how much fun you can actually have - at a bar, alone on a Saturday night in NYC I think there is a stigma attached going out alone though - I have random people ask me if I am alone and seem surprised by the answer. I do a lot of o…

>> I think there is a stigma attached going out alone though - I have random people ask me if I am alone and seem surprised by the answer. This is the hardest part to combat, especially at a bar when there's no attraction (say, a sports game) on. There is such an intense expectation for group social activity in nightlife that makes it very hard to go solo. For this reason, I almost never have a good time going out to…

i agree - i think it is important to not look at your phone or a tv (when you are out), the reason you are out is to presumably meet people and have fun. the easiest way to avoid this issue in my experience is

* make sure the bars you go in are crowded.

* given (1), always look for a long line for a drink, it gives you a lot of time to start a convo

* never sit down, always be standing (makes it it easier for people to approach you)

* go out later at night, people are more intoxicated and are more willing to talk (for better or for worse)

if a random person asks me if i am alone these days, i usually just tell them i am waiting for a friend that is running late and they drop it - but if i follow that check list, i never run into that situation anymore anyways.

I hate sports and dont follow them so I can never use them as a conversation starter. i live in NYC and this works in the Lower East Side / East Village / West Village - San Fran might be tougher - not sure

Re: Start doing more things alone

#86

Post by misiti3780 »

Maven911 wrote: post #76
misiti3780 wrote: post #73

I go out in NYC alone all the time, on weekends, for fun - Mostly I do it because my friends are doctors and cant go out because they are on call - I wish I would have realized much sooner how much fun you can actually have - at a bar, alone on a Saturday night in NYC I think there is a stigma attached going out alone though - I have random people ask me if I am alone and seem surprised by the answer. I do a lot of o…

Ive done the same in NYC but never truly enjoyed any of those alone experiences

are you drinking when you go out or no? also - which neighborhoods did you try ?

Re: Start doing more things alone

#87

Post by barbs »

doorhammer wrote: post #64
throwaway1213 wrote: post #56

Earlier quoted context omitted.

I've found myself in a similar situation, I think. I'd like to do some travelling but I find myself getting hung up on money and overall I just don't know what I would spend my time doing. What did you do once you arrived in a town or city? I really would love to have an idea of what one would do in a situation like that.

I personally like reading in different countries. It sounds silly, but I really do. I toured ireland by bike with a friend of mine (so I wasn't alone) and there were a few times we split up and went off onto different paths, then would meet up later. I liked seeing things, meeting other people, and finding little used bookstores to sell of my previous book and buy another. Then I'd find a little cafe or restaurant an…

I think a lot of people experience a strange sort of complementary relationship between travelling and reading. Perhaps it's something to do with the notion of exploring new territory, both physically and imaginatively. This might be why you see lots of "shared bookshelves" in hostels around the world.

You might be interested in BookCrossing.com. You write a note inside a book and leave it in another country, and it's encouraged to read the book, and then take it somewhere else, and keep track of its progress on the website. I'm not sure how successful it is in practice generally, though. I left a book once in Ho Chi Minh city and it got as far as Bangkok, but I don't know where it is now.

Re: Start doing more things alone

#88

Post by exodust »

dpatrick86 wrote: post #18

The beginning of an article showcases a photo of a man eating by himself and is captioned: "Not as sad as it looks." Well, wapo, that depends. If the other two extra plates of food next to him are for imaginary friends it puts a totally different twist on things that might be sad after all.

Nice observation, and funny!

For certain evening activities it should be obvious why in company is better than solo. These occasions become cherished chapter points where we reflect and share all kinds of information. We celebrate even the smallest milestones, any excuse for cheers.

I wonder how often solo activities cause valued nostalgic feelings later? I have a cherished memory of a hike in the mountains I did alone, but no great memories of solo dining-out adventures. So if we accept the objective is to get some work done on a laptop when dining alone, or travelling alone, then that's all good. But ordinarily non-work-related dining out and travelling would be best done with someone else.

To suggest we should do more things alone I couldn't generally agree with, (depending on the activity - visiting an art gallery is great to do alone.)

Re: Start doing more things alone

#90

Post by tricolon »

maaku wrote: post #62
nyc_turnip wrote: post #36

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Agreed. I'm also in nyc doing the same thing you are. Always interested in meeting other people in nyc doing the same. Let me know if you ever want to meet up.

wtf was this exchange?

I'm a little creeped out.
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