81–90 of 261 posts
I have many close friends, most of them are worlds away in terms of distance, and I don't hang out with many locals - sometimes I wonder if its Seattle, or something specific to my generation.
USian viewpoint here. This article makes me cringe. Is the author gay or a pseudonym for a girl? The article seems to extol what most would call "girly" friendship--continuous contact, social gossip, etc. Lots of attention to little things. Most guys I know of tend to equate true friendship along the lines of "will help you bury the body and won't ask questions." Male friendship tends to get tested around helping wit…
USian viewpoint here. This article makes me cringe. Is the author gay or a pseudonym for a girl? The article seems to extol what most would call "girly" friendship--continuous contact, social gossip, etc. Lots of attention to little things. Most guys I know of tend to equate true friendship along the lines of "will help you bury the body and won't ask questions." Male friendship tends to get tested around helping wit…
USian viewpoint here. This article makes me cringe. Is the author gay or a pseudonym for a girl? The article seems to extol what most would call "girly" friendship--continuous contact, social gossip, etc. Lots of attention to little things. Most guys I know of tend to equate true friendship along the lines of "will help you bury the body and won't ask questions." Male friendship tends to get tested around helping wit…
> At the same time, a wave of feminist sociologists and psychologists began describing female friendship, with all its confessional talk, as the optimal model.
> Many feminist thinkers now see those views as overly simplistic. And as recent news about gay marriage shows, America is growing more comfortable with homosexuality.
I don't think the article extols that particular type of friendship. I am surprised the article gives you that impression at all.
Semi sexist, greatly generalizing title. The sample used for the study covers only fraction of the entire data set so making this conclusion is very bold.
"this is how men are, this is how women are, this is how black people are, this is how gay people are..." it's a harmful way of thinking about the world
Some people say we're past the "social fad". I think that we're just at the tip of the iceberg, and this article hints at some of the problems that we could solve.
Yeah this is clearly a American issue. It's certainly not true in Asian/South Asian countries, sure we lose touch with friends but whenever we meet there is an instant and unmistakable bond. When I moved to the US, I couldn't understand why Americans were so "distant". I don't have the same friendships with them as I do with others. Sad but true.
Anecdotally, I've noticed this when I'm in America. Everyone is normally outwardly very friendly, but there's always the feeling that they don't give a shit about the encounter you're having and they're only even talking to you out of some perverse sense of politeness. It was even more strange for me because often our conversations would be relatively honest and about somewhat personal topics (not just the weather, w…
In the US, people are casually friendly, but not always polite. In France, politeness manifests as respectful words and actions, consistently. It doesn't hurt that formal politeness is part of the French culture. It's 'hi, how are you?' vs 'good day, sir', because most of the time the 'how are you' is not really a question, but an expression of friendliness.
There is also a fairly clear boundary between acquaintances, friends, and 'BFFs' in France. That boundary is not always clear in the US. It's not as formal as in Germany, where there is a sort of ceremony when two people want to recognize a stronger friendship. In France people (in my social circle, anyway) just switch from formal ('vous') to familiar ('tu'). I've been told that some people have a little discussion about it before switching, but I've never seen that.
This has nothing to do with men, the article should be titled: "Do boring, flaky people suck at friendship?" Most of the people on this planet are boring, and flaky, and wrapped up in their own lives, and if you don't learn how to cope with that and you don't have one of those miraculous, since high-school, partners in crime, friendships you're not gonna have friends. Have kids instead.
> That's because nearly all research into healthy aging has found that the key to a long, happy life is not diet or exercise but strong social connections – that is, friendships. Loneliness accelerates age-related declines in cognition and motor function, while a single good friend has been shown to make as much as a 10-year difference in overall life expectancy. This makes me sad :( My mother passed away from cancer…
USian viewpoint here. This article makes me cringe. Is the author gay or a pseudonym for a girl? The article seems to extol what most would call "girly" friendship--continuous contact, social gossip, etc. Lots of attention to little things. Most guys I know of tend to equate true friendship along the lines of "will help you bury the body and won't ask questions." Male friendship tends to get tested around helping wit…