Keep calm & write awesome code
I am a successful software dev but I have a serious drinking problem
81–90 of 243 posts
Re: I am a successful software dev but I have a serious drinking problem
#82This is a male outlook and take this for what you will, but I'm a programmer, and I've found that so much of overcoming addiction (drinking and porn, mainly), bad sleeping cycles, and raw anxiety, social or otherwise, comes form improving your sex life. For me this doesn't mean monogamy, or at least I haven't met a girl in some time I'm ready to be exclusive with, mainly because I've become aware of just how many fis…
This is a really easy thing to say, but it's hard to snap your fingers and be instantly surrounded by willing sexual partners if you're stuck in a rut.
Re: I am a successful software dev but I have a serious drinking problem
#83This is a male outlook and take this for what you will, but I'm a programmer, and I've found that so much of overcoming addiction (drinking and porn, mainly), bad sleeping cycles, and raw anxiety, social or otherwise, comes form improving your sex life. For me this doesn't mean monogamy, or at least I haven't met a girl in some time I'm ready to be exclusive with, mainly because I've become aware of just how many fis…
because you know, women exist to give you a rush and re-center you. nothing's better than ton of pussy when it comes to treating your various addictions and sleeping/personality disorders.
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Re: I am a successful software dev but I have a serious drinking problem
#84So sorry to hear that. I hope you can still overcome it.
My theory is that addiction is best "cured" by replacing it with something better. That could be doing more satisfying things in your life, but perhaps also simply a less destructive addiction, like playing video games.
I think if you make it into a willpower challenge you are probably doomed to fail, in fact it might make it worse because you'll feel like a bad person for presumably being "weak" (having no willpower). I think modern understanding is that for willpower challenges it is better to arrange things in such a way that the challenge becomes easy (like having no alcohol at home), rather than making it a contest of iron will.
I really enjoyed the books on Willpower by Kelly McGonigal and and by Roy F Baumeister. I suppose just reading such books won't cure an addiction, but perhaps they could be of interest to you.
I'm sorry, it's easy to talk since I never had a severe issue like that. But I had a lot of therapy - what always stuck most were the points when I learned to accept myself.
Re: I am a successful software dev but I have a serious drinking problem
#85Or.... you could practice moderation? Alcohol does not make you into a problem. You make yourself into a problem, and lump alcohol in with all the other things that you could blame it on. Grow up. Be accountable to yourself. Don't externalise blame.
More thoughts here: https://news.ycombinator.com/item?id=7486096
That was quite unhelpful. And it should have been a comment.
Re: I am a successful software dev but I have a serious drinking problem
#86Earlier quoted context omitted.
I had a gap in my professional career where I didn't code nor worked with computers very much and I saw a decrease in addictive behavior. Can we blame programming or isolation when coding, is this a professional disability? Too bad that there is no real interest in studying this issues from a psychological/sociological point of view.
I think we all have only so much willpower and the more we work the less willpower we have to resist temptation. I find it much easier to resist that choc chip cookie when I am not working hard than when I am in the middle of some huge project.
Depends what kind of work, I had a gap in my IT career but I worked all this time, some physical labor and helping and caring for my old-aged grandparents.
Exactly this is my speculation: spending time in front of a computer coding has some adverse repercussions on your mental health.
If social media does it, why not coding?
I don't think is a willpower issue, I think it is more of a surrounding environment issue. See: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Rat_Park
Re: I am a successful software dev but I have a serious drinking problem
#87So sorry to hear that. I hope you can still overcome it. My theory is that addiction is best "cured" by replacing it with something better. That could be doing more satisfying things in your life, but perhaps also simply a less destructive addiction, like playing video games. I think if you make it into a willpower challenge you are probably doomed to fail, in fact it might make it worse because you'll feel like a ba…
Well, I would suggest as well starting with reality: give yourself time, do not rush your recovery.
One needs, I guess, professional help, and the understanding that, probably, you will need a lot of time to overcome the addiction. Willpower (what Aristotle calls 'virtue') in a specific aspect in which one lacks is difficult and hard to acquire. I guess it can be done but it is just a guess. Something very important is, to me, to give real value to your little successes every day and never to despair (when one is an addict, there is little 'will' in his addictive behaviour, this is exactly the problem, to develop a 'will', and this is very much like getting physically stronger: you will not make it in a day, but any step helps).
I really hope the OP makes it and ends up having a happy life, which is a free one. He has my prayers.
Re: I am a successful software dev but I have a serious drinking problem
#88I'm an escapist. Whether it's movies, youtube, video games, literally anything that is unproductive, I'll spend an inordinate time doing. Luckily, I don't drink or do any drugs, but I might as well since I'm pissing my life away. It is as if I'm stuck in neutral. However, I do make just enough money to get by. The odd thing is that I can't pinpoint why I'm this way. It wasn't always like this. I guess reason doesn't…
I have the exact same issue. No matter how much I want to achieve or how motivated I get myself it fades over night and I go back to watching TV and making enough to get by. I second the other commenters recommendation of exercise. The days when I force myself to do even a quick 15-30 minute workout as soon as I wake up, I find are significantly more productive.
Re: I am a successful software dev but I have a serious drinking problem
#89I have struggled with porn at times and have done a lot of research on addictions. I also have a couple friends who are alcoholics. IMO, Gabor Mate has been the best resource I have found on understanding addictions. His theory is that addictions start in childhood due to some kind of constant, ongoing stress. It could be something like abusive parents or severe bullying. When we find something that temporarily relie…
Gabor Mate heals heroin addicts with two powerful psychedelic plants: Ayahuasca (DMT) and Iboga. I have been to a couple of Ayahuasca ceremonies in the past year, and I can report that - among its many awesome effects - it effectively resets your inner emotional "firmware", helping you cope with stressful situations and addictions much better (I had instantly quit smoking after the first ceremony.)
Vipassana meditation take a slower route, but some say more thorough - it transforms your self into being more reflective, more appreciative and less judging. I've yet to try it out on a 10-day retreat, but even people who practice half-hour daily buddhist meditation praise its beneficial effects on mental and physical well being.
Both Ayahuasca and Vipassana are great routes you can take to battle your addictions, not only to alcohol or tobacco but also many kinds of pain.
Re: I am a successful software dev but I have a serious drinking problem
#90I'm an escapist. Whether it's movies, youtube, video games, literally anything that is unproductive, I'll spend an inordinate time doing. Luckily, I don't drink or do any drugs, but I might as well since I'm pissing my life away. It is as if I'm stuck in neutral. However, I do make just enough money to get by. The odd thing is that I can't pinpoint why I'm this way. It wasn't always like this. I guess reason doesn't…
> [...] I don't think my post adds anything useful to this discussion [...]
After talking to a friend of mine about his issue and how it reminded me of my own struggles, I tweeted the following:
> "I get stuck browsing reddit and I hate myself for it". Consider that the problem may not be reddit. The problem may be you hating yourself. [0]
Procrastination is often a lightning rod. Try working on the lightning part of it instead of blaming the rod that may actually be saving your life from spiralling further into darkness.