Earlier quoted context omitted.
Quite a few black people use the term „nigger” between themselves, and I know at least one couple that adopted „asshole” as an affectionate term. Not to mention completely ridiculous yet popular terms like „pumpkin”. Just because some people adopted the word in some narrow context doesn’t change its meaning outside of it. There’s many behaviors that are common and acceptable towards your significant other and yet com…
The thing with calling someone "babe" is that it's too... forward? It's something that you call people you already know, so saying "babe" to a stranger is presumptuous. Anything in that category would have the same effect I think: honey, sweetheart. It's also possible to use it in a belittling way, but I can't think of any synonym for "woman" which couldn't, if you use the right tone of voice. That's just general sex…
But yes, honey and sweetheart would work just as badly. And yes, there's quite a few words that are worse. But "hey, they could do worse!" is no real argument. Sure they could.