An analogy I like to use: "Here's a book of sudoku / crossword puzzles. How long would it take you to solve all of them?" Estimating this is similar to estimating a software system. You've seen puzzles like them before, but you don't know the difficulty level of each or which ones have tricky clues that cause you to rack your brain trying to find the solution. It also nicely illustrates the 10x effect: some puzzle so…
In the best case there is still a little "unknown unknown" about both the scope and team. The project manager can tighten things but you can never completely get rid of it.