If in doubt bro-shake.
Hug vs. Handshake
81–90 of 167 posts
Re: Hug vs. Handshake
#82It all depends on the country of origin of the person you are dealing with. In Brazil, for example, is very common to both handshake and give a cheek kiss on women after the first meeting, even if in a formal environment.
Agreed, I'm American but went to a French business school. I am still completely thrown off even with cheek-kissing women, and god help me when one of the guys goes in for the double-double.
Re: Hug vs. Handshake
#83Switch it up to a fist bump - often makes people laugh, specially if it's an uptight business situation + it's more hygenic....
Re: Hug vs. Handshake
#84Earlier quoted context omitted.
In Argentina, everyone kisses once on the cheek, including between men. Certainly a culture shock at first, put it avoids all the ambiguity in NA/Europe. Edit: I should say I only know that to be true in the BsA area. Not sure about other provinces.
In most of Europe, kissing each other on the cheek in informal settings is also perfectly normal, but usually not between men. Where I'm from (Netherlands) three kisses on opposing cheeks is more or less the standard greeting if at least one girl/woman is involved, but only after you get to know each other a little better. In other European countries, 3 kisses is weird but 1 is normal. I've never been anywhere in Eur…
French kisses - when you greet a friend, how many times do you kiss?
http://24.media.tumblr.com/ea0ed4cd8ed84bd2d52b2b4d6e96caf7/...
Survey where strict boundaries matching the provinces of France are found. The number of kisses varies from one to five (!).
Re: Hug vs. Handshake
#85I might add to this, the traditional handshake or the bro handshake. You know, this one: http://d3j5vwomefv46c.cloudfront.net/photos/large/621236127.... I'll never forget the time I accidentally gave my dentist a bro shake. You should have seen how excited he got. Poor lonely dentists...
Yes, personally, I have a much more difficult time figuring out which bro handshake is about to go down in an informal setting...which has resulted in some terrible awkwardness. It is much easier to read a female coworker's body language in the workplace to tell if she likes hugs or not.
Re: Hug vs. Handshake
#86Hugs are sexual harassment. Any unrequested contact with the opposite sex is cause for immediate termination (or expulsion if you're still in school) and may lead to criminal charges.
Different cultures are different, but this is the standard drill repeated from elementary school onward through workplace policies in my part of the US. People routinely ignore it without punishment, but it's there hanging over the head of everyone.
Re: Hug vs. Handshake
#87Shane's such a good writer. well said
Re: Hug vs. Handshake
#88I generally let the other person initiate contact and just go with the flow. If you have any doubt, it's best to err on the side of handshakes.
Re: Hug vs. Handshake
#89A primary problem I have with any sort of bodily contact: When it is not genuine. (And my intuition is pretty good on this point.)
Where this perhaps becomes a problem for me is when I correspondingly cannot "fake it", whether that be a "firm, engaging" handshake, or hug (ugh...), or whatever.
I welcome a firm handshake at the end of conversation or negotiation with a straight-dealing, engaged counter-party.
I despise the glad-handing salesman or the like. And, dude, when you sidle up next to me and drape your arm over my shoulder? GTFO.
Hugging someone with whom I don't have some level of intimacy? In significant part an exercise in not pressing the wrong body parts together.
Hugging someone who is a real friend? A momentary welcoming of their physical presence and comfort in same.
So, to summarize: Welcome contact comes from being respectful and cognizant of our relationship (or lack thereof).
P.S.
> And, dude, when you sidle up next to me and drape your arm over my shoulder? GTFO.
That also goes -- this is from a hetero male perspective -- for the overly touchy female. There are some who use physical contact as a tool for foisting a temporary intimacy onto another party that is used for one degree or another of manipulation.
Guys do this, too -- if you read my "dude", above, as being male; although it could be taken in a gender-neutral fashion.
The point of my postscript is to clarify that, from my perspective, both genders can do this... "over-touching", although the details may vary from instance to instance.
I know it's done in good part because it often works, to greater or lesser degree. But, I for one find it annoying as hell because it is not genuine, and/or it seeks to exercise a degree of control and manipulation I do not welcome.
Re: Hug vs. Handshake
#90must be a slow news day, this got picked up by beatabeat:
http://betabeat.com/2013/05/to-hug-or-not-to-hug-hacker-news...