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I am depressed and I need someone to talk to

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Re: I am depressed and I need someone to talk to

#81

Post by richardlblair »

Start up life is hard. Probably not the best space for someone who already experiences emotional ups and downs.

I would recommend you speak to your therapist about Cognitive Behavioral Therapy. A paper published in the American Journal of Psychology last summer (I think it was July?) reported that after 3 months of Cognitive Behavioral Therapy a patient showed improvements that were equal to, if not better than anti-depressants. At the very least this could potentially get you off some of those meds.

I hope you feel better soon.

Re: I am depressed and I need someone to talk to

#82

Post by npsimons »

First and foremost: find a new therapist. If it's not working, you need to try something else. Even if you've tried different therapists, it's like antidepressants: you keep trying until you find one that works. Speaking of which, you might want to find a psychiatrist or MD who is wiling to try different antidepressants; 10 pills a day and no effect? That sounds like the exact case of "this one's not working, let's try another".

If the only thing you take away from this is the above paragraph, good, because I have to preface the rest of this with IANA[P|MD].

First and foremost, founding your own startup is awesome! Do you realize what kind of accomplishment that is? You shouldn't be depressed, you should be proud. Not many people can claim the title of "statup founder".

Second, apart from getting a new therapist, you might want to look into books like "Feeling Good" by David Burns and "A New Guide to Rational Living" by Albert Ellis. Both are aimed at helping overcome depression.

Exercise is good, but the effects may taper off over time (or have no effect at all). Mainly, if you're not exercising, you should, but not necessarily to treat the depression (although it might help).

All that being said, good on you for reaching out! While I don't think I have the skills to help you or experiences to relate, I hope you are successful, and I'm sure you will be. Many people have been depressed (myself included), but recovered; you can do it too.

Re: I am depressed and I need someone to talk to

#83

Post by EntendrEntendr »

javis wrote: post #7

If you can't find anyone to talk to on HN, try posting on http://reddit.com/r/depression . It's a great place to vent and a lot of people there will be happy to Skype or text you.

reddit.com/r/suicidewatch is a safe place to post at your most vulnerable, too. The volunteer posters are very supportive.

OP, I feel a board dominated by entrepreneurs and type-a hard-charging success hounds isn't the ideal place to get advice about feeling bad from clinical depression. Not that these aren't completely kind people, but there is depression and there is Depression. When you've been abused as a child, you are changed forever in ways that are not even on the same continuum of emotion that, say, not exercising, or going nearly-broke like [insert famous billionaire here].

I probably can't express this effectively through text and I'm not available to chat via Skype at the moment, but:

It's okay for you to feel Depressed. As far as emotions can be described as having reasons, you have them. Abuse changes a person forever. Doesn't break them, or make them bad, but it often leads to terrible emotions a lucky majority can't even fathom. You're feeling terrible, don't feel guilty about being injured on top of all that. Actually, injury might be a good metaphor, in that we have an animal instinct to hide away vulnerability and pain. I feel the same way about my "injuries," I don't want to share them because of a stigma of guilt that comes with Depression.

One thing I have seen posted (from a quick scan through) is the truth that you won't always feel this way. Things do get better. And then, all too commonly, they get worse again. But that too shall pass.

Re: I am depressed and I need someone to talk to

#84

Post by npsimons »

alinajaf wrote: post #40
kfullert wrote: post #2

Not sure where you are, here in the UK we have a service called The Samaritans ( http://www.samaritans.org/ ) so not sure if there's a similar service, these people are trained to give you the best help and advice that they can, and someone trained but detached from the specifics may be what's best for you - I've not gone through this myself, but have supported my wife and ex-partners through similar bouts of depress…

The Samaritans provide a great service, I've used them when going through a few rough spots. Quick note though, the Samaritans definitely do not give advice. Mostly they help you work through your own feelings and figure out what to do on your own.

Quick note though, the Samaritans definitely do not give advice. Mostly they help you work through your own feelings and figure out what to do on your own.

That sounds like the perfect description of a therapist to me.

Re: I am depressed and I need someone to talk to

#85

Post by druiid »

electronvolt wrote: post #76
ceautery wrote: post #59

I occasionally suffer from depression, usually in the winter with low light levels, and usually not debilitating. Some people are easier to talk to about this than others, and it's difficult for me to be honest about how I feel with people I work with, or casual acquaintances... and I think that's more of a problem than being "down" for a day or two. It's sad that there is a need to create a fake identity just to ope…

I'd second the splitting of self into an analytic side and a emotional side being helpful as a short term coping mechanism, but I would caution against taking it too far. It is great as a short term buffer against letting your state get the better off you, but at the end of the day you're still depressed and viewing everything in some way through that lens of depression. Even if you're able to recognize the cognitive…

Very good suggestions here as well! Thanks for posting. I have a least a family member whom is bipolar and it is an extremely tricky ailment.

Re: I am depressed and I need someone to talk to

#86

Post by klibertp »

maeon3 wrote: post #35

Volunteer at your local homeless shelter, they don't contact you, you contact them. Get away from people for a while, unplug from the internet, depression is a psychological process where you determine you have a problem that needs to be fixed, and processing time is needed away from the daily stimulus to figure out what to do to fix it.

> Volunteer at your local homeless shelter, they don't contact you, you contact them.

Please don't. Are you trying to kill the OP or to help him?

When at the 'homeless shelter' (or any other such a place, like an institution for drug addicts, elderly people or animal shelter) healthy person tends to eventually appreciate the fact that she's much better off and to see hope in the fact that those people (or animals) thrive despite all the tragedies they were through. It's a good advice for people frustrated because they didn't get their promotion just yet.

People in depression in same circumstances can only get worse. The fear of becoming homeless, or an addict, or maltreated animal - however stupid this sounds - will dominate their minds and will worsen their condition almost universally. Worsening depression could be lethal, hence my question at the beginning.

In short: whatever you do, as a depressed person, do not surround yourself with pain and suffering and hopelessness. You've got enough of this inside you.

Re: I am depressed and I need someone to talk to

#87

Post by hnthrowaway11 »

chris_wot wrote: post #27
ryanbraganza wrote: post #12

Earlier quoted context omitted.

If you're in Australia, call lifeline ( 13 11 14 ) or they have a chat service at particular hours - https://www.lifeline.org.au/Get-Help/Online-Services/crisis-...

They are great - I've used Lifeline in the past.

I ummed and erred about posting this, as I wouldn't (and don't) want to detract anyone from reaching out to Lifeline. This is strictly an n=1 sample.

I disturbingly had a less than great experience with Lifeline the one time I needed some help. Specifically the operator told me she didn't understand my issues or why I was calling. The fact that I had expectations of being able to access an understanding counsellor and had saved them as a last point-of-call when other options were exhausted made this particularly unhelpful. Thought I'd post this as potentially my own expectations made this situation worse (and if I'd read this or other online accounts I might have had lower expectations).

Still, I got through that so maybe it was the right thing to tell me.

Re: I am depressed and I need someone to talk to

#90

Post by [deleted] »

ForrestN wrote: post #70

Advice from strangers is not going to fix the underlying mental health issues here. 10 pills every day implies a pretty grave situation, one that certainly will not be addressed by exercising or daily inspiration websites. Have you talked to your therapist unambiguously about the stagnation you describe? Have you considered trying to talk to someone else, too, who maybe follows a different approach? I am not a doctor…

[deleted]
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