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What does connecting with someone mean?

talk.bradwoods.io

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Re: What does connecting with someone mean?

#81

Post by anonymars »

JustExAWS wrote: post #80
anonymars wrote: post #78

Earlier quoted context omitted.

"Have patience and try to understand people you disagree with, and they might be open to changing their mind" isn't an out-of-reach unicorn tech investment, it is a fundamental building block of effective human communication. Ask any good salesperson

There is a huge difference between “I don’t agree with your stance on supply side economics or universal healthcare” and “I would just as well see you hanging from a tree as sitting here next to me” or “because you decide to love someone of the same sex, you are going to bring an end to this great nation and I will do everything I can to make your life miserable”, I am not trying to “understand” anyone who thinks som…

So don't. But why insist to everyone else that engaging with prejudice and changing people's minds is impossible?

Re: What does connecting with someone mean?

#82

Post by scarface_74 »

anonymars wrote: post #81
JustExAWS wrote: post #80

Earlier quoted context omitted.

There is a huge difference between “I don’t agree with your stance on supply side economics or universal healthcare” and “I would just as well see you hanging from a tree as sitting here next to me” or “because you decide to love someone of the same sex, you are going to bring an end to this great nation and I will do everything I can to make your life miserable”, I am not trying to “understand” anyone who thinks som…

So don't. But why insist to everyone else that engaging with prejudice and changing people's minds is impossible?

Yet I bet you’re not going to try to do outreach to people you know want to see you or your family harmed just because of the color of your skin…

Re: What does connecting with someone mean?

#83

Post by dang »

daymanstep wrote: post #8
nntwozz wrote: post #7

"It means mutual empathy — they get you and you get them. It's discovering similar values, experiences and perspectives. It's a feeling of trust and comfort where you both feel safe to say what is truly on your mind." Ah, sounds all fine and dandy! But what do you do when you discover you don't have similar values? Maybe there's no answer in todays polarized world; personally aspire to this: I don't like that man. I…

[flagged]

"Please respond to the strongest plausible interpretation of what someone says, not a weaker one that's easier to criticize. Assume good faith."

https://news.ycombinator.com/newsguidelines.html

Re: What does connecting with someone mean?

#84

Post by anonymars »

scarface_74 wrote: post #82
anonymars wrote: post #81

Earlier quoted context omitted.

So don't. But why insist to everyone else that engaging with prejudice and changing people's minds is impossible?

Yet I bet you’re not going to try to do outreach to people you know want to see you or your family harmed just because of the color of your skin…

Why do you assume that, and what is it you would like to achieve by saying so? Do you think I champion this because I've never helped someone become less prejudiced?

I'm sorry for what you've had to go through. But do you think the world will just change for the better of its own accord (or that it will never change for the better)?

Re: What does connecting with someone mean?

#85

Post by dang »

optimlayer wrote: post #25
4gotunameagain wrote: post #15

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Using one of the most of extreme of examples to discredit an argument that is meant to bring unity, makes me not like you, and not wanting to know you better ;)_

which would make you not like him even more, and thus wanting to know him better :D

This is offtopic but can you please email hn@ycombinator.com? I want to ask you about https://news.ycombinator.com/item?id=44523452.

Re: What does connecting with someone mean?

#86

Post by BobaFloutist »

FearNotDaniel wrote: post #67
op00to wrote: post #61

Earlier quoted context omitted.

I’ve spent the better part of 20 years trying to get through to my Trump loving, racist, hateful father in law using compassion and shared understanding. At some point you need to accept that some people don’t respond to that, and usually it’s the people who lean towards the authoritative that are not receptive.

Your comment is very confusing. The article is about making a connection with someone, the measure of which is that you have achieved a shared understanding. It sounds as if you have managed that. And yet it seems that this is not enough for you and you are expecting to “get through” to him in some other sense, that he will be “receptive” to something more that goes beyond mutual understanding, that he will “respond…

They were pretty clearly responding to the previous comment more than to the article directly??

Re: What does connecting with someone mean?

#87

Post by op00to »

FearNotDaniel wrote: post #67
op00to wrote: post #61

Earlier quoted context omitted.

I’ve spent the better part of 20 years trying to get through to my Trump loving, racist, hateful father in law using compassion and shared understanding. At some point you need to accept that some people don’t respond to that, and usually it’s the people who lean towards the authoritative that are not receptive.

Your comment is very confusing. The article is about making a connection with someone, the measure of which is that you have achieved a shared understanding. It sounds as if you have managed that. And yet it seems that this is not enough for you and you are expecting to “get through” to him in some other sense, that he will be “receptive” to something more that goes beyond mutual understanding, that he will “respond…

I want him to realize that he achieved what he did not because he’s somehow better than people whose skin is darker than his, but because he was very lucky in where and when he was born, who his parents were, etc. I want him to realize that pulling up the ladder behind him (he often says that minorities don’t deserve the same benefits of society that he got) does nothing but make life worse for other people.

Re: What does connecting with someone mean?

#88

Post by em-bee »

anonymars wrote: post #84
scarface_74 wrote: post #82

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Yet I bet you’re not going to try to do outreach to people you know want to see you or your family harmed just because of the color of your skin…

Why do you assume that, and what is it you would like to achieve by saying so? Do you think I champion this because I've never helped someone become less prejudiced? I'm sorry for what you've had to go through. But do you think the world will just change for the better of its own accord (or that it will never change for the better)?

this discussion reminds me of the quote by george bernard shaw: "The reasonable person adapts himself to the world; the unreasonable one persists in trying to adapt the world to himself. Therefore all progress depends on the unreasonable person"

Re: What does connecting with someone mean?

#89

Post by scarface_74 »

em-bee wrote: post #88
anonymars wrote: post #84

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Why do you assume that, and what is it you would like to achieve by saying so? Do you think I champion this because I've never helped someone become less prejudiced? I'm sorry for what you've had to go through. But do you think the world will just change for the better of its own accord (or that it will never change for the better)?

this discussion reminds me of the quote by george bernard shaw: "The reasonable person adapts himself to the world; the unreasonable one persists in trying to adapt the world to himself. Therefore all progress depends on the unreasonable person"

And how has that worked out? Right now today, people are more willing to hurt themselves as long as they “own the libs”, see immigrants get mistreated, make sure Israel is protected so Jesus has somewhere to come back to (no exaggeration and I have no opinion on what Israel is doing. I don’t know enough), and non straight non Christians are treated as second class citizens.

The problem that Democrats and liberals have and why they are constantly shocked with outcomes is that despite what Michelle Obama says, this is exactly what the a large minority of the country is and always has been. They don’t care about corruption, the politics of revenge (and they cheer it), democracy, etc. The proof is in who they voted for.

Re: What does connecting with someone mean?

#90

Post by em-bee »

scarface_74 wrote: post #77
em-bee wrote: post #74

Earlier quoted context omitted.

i am not saying you have any kind of obligation to do anything to change someones mind. nor am i saying that it would be easy. i am just suggesting not to dismiss that change is possible. if daryl davis can change members of the kkk, then we can change conservative christians too. it takes effort and time, but it's not impossible.

Yes and if I tell my kids to drop out of school it’s also possible for them to become a billionaire because I read about a few people who did so….

that's not a fair comparison. the risks of dropping out of school are quite different from the risks of talking to someone.
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