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Work Life balance slows careers

pathtostaff.com

81–90 of 122 posts

Re: Work Life balance slows careers

#81
He clearly made his point and got lucky with the payoff from his deep job devotion. But here's what hits differently for many of us: we pour our souls into our work—late nights, weekend debugging sessions, going above and beyond—only to watch promotions pass us by, raises get "deferred," and our contributions fade into corporate silence.

The aftermath? It's not just disappointment—it's emotional devastation that leads straight to burnout. And here's the kicker: once you're truly burnt out, you're looking at years of mental recovery. Years. Your relationship with work fundamentally changes, your confidence tanks, and that passionate developer who once stayed up until 3am solving problems? They might never fully return.

This industry has a serious problem with recognizing genuine effort versus just celebrating the success stories. We need to talk more about the psychological cost of unrecognized devotion and how it's quietly destroying talented people who just wanted their work to matter.

Re: Work Life balance slows careers

#82

Earlier quoted context omitted.

If, hypothetically, your kids and wife asked you to work many more hours and earn much more money, would you do it?

Ironically, I worked really hard for a number of years precisely to ensure that my family would be financially safe if something happened to me -- something like what happened to my own father. The difference was that I quit my well-paying job as soon as we had enough to sustain a modest lifestyle. I will admit that at times I was seduced by the illusion of status, so I get why some people get trapped in that work-fi…

> Just look at your spouse and children and ask whether they would rather have more money, or a more present husband & father.

But you yourself are saying that if you disagree with your spouse's assessment of the situation (in the hypothetical) you'd consider divorcing her.

You really just want someone to validate the decision you've made rather than challenge it.

Re: Work Life balance slows careers

#83
Definitely tend to think that working a lot (not necessarily all in one organization, and for a pretty expansive definition of "work") is the way to have a good life. Even before starting to think about money.

Re: Work Life balance slows careers

#84

At what cost? A career is just one facet of a fulfilled life alongside relationships, health, personal development and joy. Putting everything aside aiming for promotions may look like a success on paper but it often leads to burnout, loneliness and unfulfilled goals in other areas. You can climb the ladder but if you ignore the rest of your life you may reach the top, only to realize once alone at the summit that yo…

Some people are just socially inept. As far as I remember, groups have turned against me for no reasonable reason. Saw therapists for years, the best one I kept a dozen years but she grew irritated. Some people are just born to bring taxes in. (And before you bring up the smug: Did plenty of sports, windsurf, judo, snowboarding, racketball, plenty of travels, lived abroad, tried both genders, had all sorts of friends…

> reasonable reason

Just a guess that it lies packed somewhere in your use of the word "reasonable"

Re: Work Life balance slows careers

#85

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Ironically, I worked really hard for a number of years precisely to ensure that my family would be financially safe if something happened to me -- something like what happened to my own father. The difference was that I quit my well-paying job as soon as we had enough to sustain a modest lifestyle. I will admit that at times I was seduced by the illusion of status, so I get why some people get trapped in that work-fi…

> Just look at your spouse and children and ask whether they would rather have more money, or a more present husband & father. But you yourself are saying that if you disagree with your spouse's assessment of the situation (in the hypothetical) you'd consider divorcing her. You really just want someone to validate the decision you've made rather than challenge it.

Let's take a step back and understand the context of this discussion. This isn't a forum where unemployed people talk about poverty finance. This is a place primarily made by and for tech bros. Said tech bros are far more likely to fall into the category of "workaholic overachiever" than "unmotivated NINJA" [0]. My comments in this thread are written in that context.

As for the rest, I will take your kind insights to heart. If you want to work longer hours because your spouse asks you to make more money, that's your own choice to make. I thankfully didn't have to face that situation.

[0] https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/No_income,_no_asset#No_income,...

Re: Work Life balance slows careers

#86
post #3

Side note: After 10 years living in Europe, I moved back to my home country and started looking for remote jobs in the US. It's wild what the US calls “quality of life”. In Europe, I had 6 weeks of vacation per year (from basically day 1) in the US, it’s 2 weeks! In Europe, unlimited sick leave is standard (with varying coverage by insurance); meanwhile, a US company bragging about being a “best place to work” was pr…

Theres a reason why everyone in the US is driving a $40k Pickup and people in EU are struggling to even get air conditioning lol.

As much as I love the US, now that I have lived in both paces, I bet that quality of life in EU is much, much better for 90% of the population. 40k pickup or not.

Re: Work Life balance slows careers

#87
post #58
post #38

Earlier quoted context omitted.

35% effective, 50% marginal. You take home more like $325k+. Assuming we're talking MFJ with a family

Once you add in payroll tax, sales tax (10% of most purchases) and property tax (you pay indirectly even if you rent) and you get right around 50% in NYC. I have lived this and calced this many times lol.

Interesting to include the sales tax. Makes sense I guess. Where I live in Europe it's like 45% income tax + 21% sales tax (more like 75% on fuel) + 5% wealth tax.

Re: Work Life balance slows careers

#88
post #79
post #24

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Where is "in Europe" in your case? There are around 50 countries, each with their own laws. In Finland, you don't get ANY vacation days until the next time April 1st rolls around. And then, the number of days you get is heavily reduced if you haven't worked the entire year from April-April. Why is it like that? Who the hell knows. Oh yeah, if you take 5 days off, it counts as 6 days. So you essentially have 5/6 of th…

Germany. Spain should be the same.

Benelux countries are the same

Re: Work Life balance slows careers

#89
post #3

Side note: After 10 years living in Europe, I moved back to my home country and started looking for remote jobs in the US. It's wild what the US calls “quality of life”. In Europe, I had 6 weeks of vacation per year (from basically day 1) in the US, it’s 2 weeks! In Europe, unlimited sick leave is standard (with varying coverage by insurance); meanwhile, a US company bragging about being a “best place to work” was pr…

Theres a reason why everyone in the US is driving a $40k Pickup and people in EU are struggling to even get air conditioning lol.

I guess this is sarcastic?

Re: Work Life balance slows careers

#90
post #41

Earlier quoted context omitted.

The kid is spoiled. Many Dads work two jobs barely see their family trying to keep a roof over them and food. None of those Dads are beating themselves up because they had to schedule a chess game. Rich person problem that they solved by not working. Most Dads working two jobs can't.

> The kid is spoiled. I can't tell if you are being sarcastic or not, so I will default to: I hope you are. The kid isn't spoiled for wanting to play a game with his dad... and he isn't spoiled for watching and waiting for his dad to input "play with son" in his phone. If anything the father is spoiled. He is a high-earner, who choses to spend more time working than necessary for the advancement of a career. And his…

Spoiled is expecting and being upset you can't get something that others can't get. Having the ability to spend time with your kid is a luxury to most average folks.

The asking the kid to schedule creates this negative pressure. The kid would take the situation differently if framed differently.

Most kids if asked would never want their parents to work. Don't set your kids up that way. Teach them why work is important to them being able to eat.

The parents of earlier generations sent their kids away if rich or rarely saw them when working the fields 16 hour days.

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