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Why is it so hard to get families to live in community houses?

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Re: Why is it so hard to get families to live in community houses?

#81
post #75
post #37

Many of the problems this article talks about are relatively new, historically, and I can't help but wonder if the problem isn't really other trends like high-intensity helicopter parenting, rather than "atomic" families. I grew up in a fairly typical American suburb, in the 70s, and lived in a single-family, single-generation household. But, there were 35+ kids on my one-block street! The neighborhood consisted enti…

The nuclear family is also relatively new. It probably just seemed normal to you if you grew up in it. It was almost certainly not how families worked when your parents or grandparents were kids.

My dad was born in 1925. He lived with his parents and sisters and didn't share a household with grandparents aunts or uncles. My mom was born in a small town in Italy on the eve of WWII and orphaned when she was ten. Again, there were no grandparents aunts or uncles, or friends or neighbors living in the same household, and none were in the picture to care for her. She was went to boarding schools until she could emigrate to America, where her uncles lived. During school breaks she lived with neighbors in her home town.

I don't know enough about my grandparents to be able to answer, but I think it's likely that small three-generation households were common somewhat common, i.e. a grandparent and one of their children, that child's spouse and that set of grand children. But I think multi-family households and intentional household relationships not bound by marriage or parent/child bonds were rare in their day as well, at least in the US and western Europe.

Re: Why is it so hard to get families to live in community houses?

#82

My parents had to share a house with a couple when I was a small child. It was not ideal. Shared kitchen. Other shared spaces. Unless you are all on the same page about things, you are basically taking on extra parents. Other people telling you how to do such and such in raising your child which may be ideas that you're not on par with. When you have your own home, you can amicably disagree and go to the privacy of y…

Yup. Disagreements over tidiness, food, kitchen usage, what is appropriate for children, the list goes on and on. Different families come from different cultures, have different values, etc. It's incredibly difficult to find a bunch of other families you're "on the same page with" where you actually want to be co-parenting with and hanging out with all the time. It's one thing when you all grow up together. There's a…

It seems everyone’s trying to fix one part of the system without seeing the system as a whole. Build more housing is all you need to do, live in communes is all you need, etc. That’s great for easy blog fodder. I definitely think community is vital, but the system you live in can easily poison it or make it unworkable. Also the article seems to mention actual intergenerational families in India then asks why aren’t families living with other families which is a weird conclusion to make from that.

Re: Why is it so hard to get families to live in community houses?

#83
post #70

We also love divorce. Which parent would live in the community? Mom or dad?

Divorce doesn't have to be a drama. Both can remain friends and stay at the same place.

There's more than that. What about their new partners? Do they want to live with a different community?
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