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What really happens inside a dating app

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81–90 of 373 posts

Re: What really happens inside a dating app

#81
post #58

Earlier quoted context omitted.

I’m not interested in charity or exploitation.

A girl who started off at the same level as you, will appreciate what you have accomplished. A girl who grew up well off won't.

I’ve experimented with both. Neither really values where you come from and what you’ve accomplished. What they care about is what you’re going to do for them.

In my case, I just happen to care about what they’ll do back because I’m not interested in super imbalanced relationships.

Re: What really happens inside a dating app

#83
post #2

> To me, if you are a guy on a dating app and your pictures are not taken by a professional photographer then you are losing your time, and if you are paying you are also throwing your money. Don't do this. You need good pictures that convey attractiveness (looks, as well as personality). Using professional photos conveys neediness & a level of desperation hidden under a shell of an ego the shot tries to portray. So…

>> To me, if you are a guy on a dating app and your pictures are not taken by a professional photographer then you are losing your time, and if you are paying you are also throwing your money.

> Don't do this.

> pay a photographer for canned real shots (nothing highly edited).

So, instead of having my pictures taken by a professional photographer, you recommend that I pay a professional photographer to take my pictures?

I've heard of irrational bias against the passive voice, but this is extreme even in that genre.

Re: What really happens inside a dating app

#84
post #21

> The likelihood to like and exchange inside homosexual groups is much higher than in heterosexual ones. > The like ratio of a girl is almost independent of the profiles she sees. For example, if a girl has a like ratio of 5% and you remove 50% of the profiles, even if you remove only the profiles she will not like, her like ratio will still be 5% These two statements sound like they would be at odds. It seems either…

Only at odds if you assume the behavior is gendered and not a response or effect of the dating community in general - homosexual sub communities could have lots of community effects that change this up, just like heterosexual communities differ.

Another assumption that doesn't really work is that there must be equal numbers of male and female homosexual groups.

Assuming that male and female behavior doesn't change regardless of the partner they're seeking, it will still be true that the more groups are gay, the higher the acceptance rate will be, and it will also be true that gays are more interested in forming these groups than lesbians are.

Re: What really happens inside a dating app

#87

The data here falls in line with the infamous OKcupid study (which got cancelled and taken down because men and women are identical, donchaknow?) The takeaway is that humans best date by meeting people in person through mutual acquaintances. Without the forced direct social interaction, women are only interested in the top 10% of guys, and guys are just aimlessly running at anything that moves regardless of their act…

> the infamous OKcupid study

Not sure which of these you meant, but here's links for those who haven't read them:

The one blog post that got removed when match-dot-com (InterActiveCorp) bought OKC in 2011-Feb:

https://gwern.net/doc/psychology/okcupid/whyyoushouldneverpa...

The other OKC data analysis posts (archive link to 2011-Jan):

https://web.archive.org/web/20110126012317/http://blog.okcup...

Re: What really happens inside a dating app

#88
post #85

> Among girls : 10% where lesbian, 84% were hetero and 12 % were interested in both genders > Among guys: 7% homo, 92% hetero and almost none were interested in both genders That's insane.

I've heard that listing you're bi is considered a red flag on a guy's profile? maybe people are hiding it

Re: What really happens inside a dating app

#89

My anecdotal user-end data-science-ish story about dating apps: A few years back I was single and on Hinge a fair amount. If you used Hinge back then, you'll remember some key differences between the platform and other dating apps: 1) when you "like"'d someone, you'd have to comment on a specific part of their profile (a photo, a prompt answer, etc), 2) these likes showed up in their inbox, independent of whether the…

Quite interesting! But you’re leaving us hanging, did you ask her why she was on Hinge at 2pm?

I never talked to any of the girls about this. Pretty obviously "I analyzed the data from hundreds of conversations to optimize..." is not a good look.

I'm pretty confident though that it's just the after-lunch doldrums and people just.. sit around swiping at work? Best guess anyway

Re: What really happens inside a dating app

#90

Earlier quoted context omitted.

the implication is that they have a lot of water but it's unpalatable or toxic most of the time and needs filtering I think - easy matches but most of them bad?

Most men are insane from frustration, not unpalatable or toxic.

If the first part of your description is true, then the second needs corrected by replacing the "not...or..." with "therefore...and...".

"Insane from frustration" explains, rather than contradicts, "unpalatable" and "toxic".

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